Joke Daquan laughs till his stomach hurts.

1. When I was ten years old, my PE teacher said to me, "If you exercise for one hour every day, you can live to be sixty as long as you persist for fifty years."

2, today's exam, just two minutes after handing out the paper, my roommate handed it in, and I was bored. I have to copy this for 20 minutes. When I came back, I asked him, how did you hand it in so soon? My roommate said, "I read it once, but I'm sure I can pass it, so I'll hand in my papers and leave."

I bought a refrigerator. As soon as he entered the store, he said, "Haier! Haier! " Hearing this, the waiter said stupefied, "Dad, Dad, what do you want?" The waiter is also very hard!

When I go home at night, my wife wants to smell the clothes as soon as she grabs them. I was so scared that I quickly explained, "I ate with my friends today, and I definitely don't smell like a woman!" " Unexpectedly, she slapped me in the face and said, "It smells like hot pot. You don't even invite me to eat hot pot! "

5. Two turtles chat: "Why do some animals become sperm after thousands of years, but we haven't become sperm for thousands of years?" "We are experts." "Really, why didn't I know?" "You idiot! Can you talk before becoming sperm? "

6. A couple in our class quarreled. That woman is very beautiful, clamoring not to sit with that male classmate. The man said: you change, you change, don't sit. The woman cried and shouted at him, I won't sit with you even if I sit with the ugliest one in the class! Then he came up to me.

7. Girls are small and fresh in front of relatives, quiet in front of outsiders, neurotic in front of acquaintances, and female hooligans in front of girlfriends.

8. People who have girlfriends are called New Year's Eve, and you can endure it at most.

9. Once I was stared at by a big dog on the road, I ran, and the more I ran, the more I chased. At this moment, the dog owner behind me shouted: Get down! I don't know if the dog is afraid of people squatting down, so he squatted down. Sure enough, the dog didn't catch up. Turn around and the dog crouches behind. The dog owner smiled and said, I'm sorry, young man, I said the dog.

10, driving out to play with some friends, suddenly a dog ran in front of the car, scaring the driving friend to slam on the brakes. He suddenly put down his glass and shouted at the dog, asshole, I'm your mother. At this time, another friend in the car said leisurely, it tastes really heavy.