Joke Books Read by Ancient People —— Excerpted from Kobayashi Hiroji (Volume II)

Some people who entered Pan Pan with money and money visited the Confucius Temple, and Confucius spoke to answer them. The scholar said, "Today is the master's apprentice acceptance ceremony. You should sit down and accept it." Confucius said, "How dare you? You are a disciple of my brother Kong Fang, and you will never be worshipped. "

Ordinary teachers are used to reading broken sentences in white. One day, I trained my disciples and taught the Preface to Universities. I read the cloud: "Universities are ancient books, so universities teach people." The owner noticed it and drove it away angrily. After being invited to the curtain call by an official, the official didn't understand the laws and regulations and asked the librarian everything. One day, a patrol came to arrest a man who stole a clock. The official asked how to cure it, and the teacher said, "The master's way (stealing) is loyalty (bell), but only forgiveness." The official was released. Another day, a thief arrived, the official asked again, and the teacher said, "Whoever hears a Taoist priest (thief) dies." The official was about to grab a seat and stood under the stick. Hades made a real investigation in private, and ordered the ghost to condemn him and say, "You unreasonable beast, you deceived people and misled their children. This is not a small crime. You reincarnate and become a pig and a dog." The teacher begged again and again, "I dare not give up pigs and dogs, but pigs should be born in the south and dogs should beg women." Asked why, he replied, "pigs in the south are better than those in the north." He asked the bitch why, and replied, "Qu:' Bitch who needs money will get it, but who is in trouble will be exempted. " "

Stealing people into the temple, stealing sacred objects and stealing gods, only the land temple was not taken, and nothing was found when dug up. Naihai sighed, "Look at his towel. He brought one, but there is nothing in his stomach."

If you don't finish the exam all your life, you will be a fourth-class scholar. The friend said, "I only want half an article." You Yun: "Fortunately, I finished reading it, and I killed it after reading it."

A scholar's attempt is limited to conception. All the students came out with cards, and the candidates waited a long time. A servant asked servant B, "I wonder how many words there are in a composition?" B said, "I think it's only five or six hundred." Jia Dao: "Five or six hundred words." . "Don't you have it in your chest? Still not coming out at this time? " B said, "Although there are five or six hundred words in my stomach, I just can't get my ears together for a while."

After the sacrifice, Guangdong and Guangxi fought for a pig's big dirty, and the name was to hold its dirty head. A little light, as dirty as possible. The competitor only grabbed a handful of oil in the dirty hand, because he said, "Although it can't be buried (dirty), it can't be special (oil)."

The scholar asked the monk, "There is no word inside and outside in your classic. You should only send the original sound. Why is it pronounced Namo? " The monk also asked Yun back, "Why is the word" drama "in the four books of" xianggong "also pronounced as" alas "? Now, if "xianggong" reads plays, I will miss Nanwu. If "xianggong" dies, I naturally want to go south. "

Teacher Xun Meng, come to a two-word class and say to the students, "Ma Si." A disciple said to him, "Peng Fen." The teacher said, "OK, don't change it." Quit in vain. Another disciple said, "Cow shit." The teacher scolded, "Bullshit." Disciples also bowed and wanted to do it. The teacher pointed out: "You have never been right, how can you leave?" Yue: "I said cow shit was right, but my husband changed it to bullshit."

The first division is used to asking for help, and was visited by Pluto with a hag. The teacher can't get out by hiding in the door. The ghost pawn devised a trick and said, "Come out quickly, there is a good museum for you." The teacher heard that there was a museum, and even if he rushed out, he was caught by the hag. The gentleman said, "Look at your sneaky head, it's not like a gentleman."

The long grain harvest consumed a large number of rats in the warehouse. While waiting for it, I saw squirrels eating among them, so I opened the warehouse to cover up the catch. The weasel has a protective fart, even put a few, and when the grain grows up, he says angrily, "He ate this fart beast, too."