What are the funny classic quotations?

1. How come your nonsense is more than Hunan Satellite TV's advertisement?

2. I want to be as thin as a lightning bolt to illuminate all the wretched fat people.

3. There are no lovers who can't be separated, only a mistress who doesn't work hard. 4. Hair disappears without a trace, and dandruff is more outstanding. 5. Brush the toilet with the landlord's toothbrush when you are depressed. 6. Cucumber lies in shooting, life. It's not an ornament

8. The tattooed person is not necessarily a rogue, he may be Yue Fei

9. The most painful thing in the world is not the parting between life and death, but the exam is coming. Others are reviewing and I am preparing for it.

1. Your smile is brighter than that shit in the sun.

11. If two people stare at each other for a long time, it is also a romantic thing.

12. My heart is not a bus, so sit down if there is no space

13. Count the stars with me. Count the moon if the IQ is low

14. Mermaid, I love you. Only you won't cheat

15. My ears are not trash cans. Don't throw anything here

16. If my sister dies, Just burn a brother for my sister

17. What you play is called diving brother, and what you play is called lurking

18. The most useless thing in the world is the salary slip, which makes you angry and makes you wipe your ass too thin

19. Medicine can't cure fake diseases, but wine can't solve real worries

2. Sorry, the signature is too personalized, which makes the system unable to display. Please refresh

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22. Save the last sip of water for comrades in need! Give me that bottle of orange juice.

23. Some people look much better than real people when they make masks.

24. I also want to be an elegant lady. Life has forced me to be a bitch.

25. The most common saying of thick-skinned people is that I treat you well.

26. Do you know what a big shot is? It's a little person who has been working hard

27. For men, milk is a mother. For women, money is lang.

28. When I look at your photo, I want to put it on the wall in black and white!

29. How much sorrow can you have is like a bundle of snowflake beer.

3. Eat up and use up your health, while gambling and whoring will kill you. 31. Excuse me: Is it the sun or the moon in the sky? Sorry, I'm not from here!

32. The reason for refusing to confess is often that we are not from the same world. Am I from Mars? Not suitable for people on earth?

33. I'm trying to make money now in order to buy a plane ticket in 212.

34. Don't be angry with me, because I have a caller ID here.

35. Do you think you are beautiful when people call you Youlemei? Do you know that Youlemei is a disposable appliance?

36. change your signature every day. it's free anyway.

37. The boss came to the bowl and burst into tears.

38. I chase you with Cupid's arrow, fly with bulletproof vest

4. It's terrible that you dare not die.

41. Grandpa said: Jay Chou must be a good monk when he becomes a monk, because his scriptures are so beautiful.

42. A magician's necessary prop for the Spring Festival Evening: Dong Qing!

43. Life is like anxiety. Without accurate lyrics, it is thrilling.

44. 186 is still good to me. I sent him a short message and he replied to me with three.

45. mistress is crying. Because Xiao Si broke its beautiful life.

46. The salary is like a period, once a month, and it will be gone in a week or so.

47. Every girl wants to have a myna, but unfortunately not everyone can be a Qing Chuan.

48. Men, men, wish you were a good person.

49. My personality is good, and my parents have no worries.

5. The heartbroken man is jumping over the cliff at sunset.

51. People are tired of seeing things when the goods are overdue. When can you be awesome in my heart?

52. What you say is like a lady saying that she is pure.

53. Build your own road and dig someone else's road so that others can build the road with me.

54. Believe it or not, if I slap you, you can't dig it off the wall.

55. White-collar workers are nothing, only pigs can raise pigs. Because Grandpa Mao is the endorsement

58. God created virgin men and women

59. In this era, Wukong pursues leopard-print fashion and sexy

6. The cashier said, I have no change, so I can give you two plastic bags. 61. Others laugh at me for being crazy, and I laugh at others for being cross-eyed

62. As long as I work hard, I will take a shit seriously

63. I haven't been bored after listening for half a year. Because I don't understand

64. Other people eat longevity noodles on their birthdays, but I eat dried noodles on my birthday

65. After reading the lotus lanterns, I found that Chang 'e is a house girl.

66. brushing your teeth is a mixed blessing. Holding a cup in one hand and a washing utensil in the other.

67. You eloped with her and I'll keep watch for you.

68. At first, I was your oxygen, later, I was the air, and finally, I became carbon dioxide.

69. My father expressed his views on my obesity: Han Hong died, and Han Hong got sick.

7. When you buy baked sweet potatoes, please ask the boss loudly, what is this stuffing

71. What are the bad guys, men who take off their pants during the day and women who don't take off their makeup at night

72. My world. No one is allowed to get involved. You're here, please sit inside.

73.A: You have food in your teeth. B: If you want to eat it, I'll buckle it for you.

74. I can resist anything except temptation.

75. The biggest sorrow in life is that youth is gone, but acne is still there. 76. Live an erhu-like life with the spirit of hip-hop blues.

78. You'd better not hate me. There are really too many people who hate me, and you can't rank first.

79. It's as cold as a joke, and life is like nonsense.

8. Sleeping is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing art.

81. Is the child produced by two people with B blood type a 2B blood type?

82. About tomorrow, we will know the day after tomorrow.

83. Your left brain is water, and your right brain is powder, which will paste when you move.

84.2.14 I must go to the supermarket and crush all the chocolates to see who can deliver them!

85. The school's intelligence is: you won't be allowed to do whatever you want.

86. Women like bad boys, not bad boys

87. One person is happy, two people live, and three people are life-and-death.

88. Summer is just not good. When I am poor, I don't even have to drink the northwest wind ...

89. There are many liars, and fools are obviously not enough.

9. I have never been cheated because no one cheated me.

91. It's better to send cauliflower than roses on Valentine's Day, which can eat and save money.

92. It's as difficult as eating shit, and as simple as taking a shit.

93. Since Einstein discovered the theory of relativity, there is no absolute thing in the world.

94. Since ancient times, anyone who dies early or late has to die.

95. There are always thirty days in a month when he doesn't want to go to school.

96. Valentine's Day is not terrible. What is terrible is that every year you spend time with different people.

97. A fool stole a beggar's wallet and was seen by a blind man. The deaf man was startled by a loud roar, and the lame man flew up. The madman said, Oh, everyone should be rational.

98. When you fall, stand up and change your posture before you fall.

99. If the teacher hadn't told me not to litter, I would have thrown you out earlier.

1. Calm down because you are not afraid of death, and I am calmer than you because I am not afraid of your death.

11. The most attractive person is Master Kong, and thousands of people love him every day.

12. Fish can't live without water, and people can't live without boats. If you don't pay for it.

13. Don't think that you are an angel with a bird's hair.

14.May the force be with you is useless.

15. My advantage is that it is useless at critical times.

16. Holding your hand, you will know that your child is ugly, and your face is full of tears. I will go if you don't go.

17. Pig.

18. The Asian Games is a sport in which a group of people who need to exercise sit in the stands and watch some people who need to rest.

19. Just because you show half your ass doesn't mean you're sexy, it only means that your underwear is small.

11. Whose daughter will lend it to me, and I'll give you a big one and a small one next year.

111. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

112. When I love you, what you say is what you say. What do you say you are when I don't love you?

113. Being single is very painful. Being single for a long time is even more painful. When I saw a sow the other day, I thought it was beautiful.

114. I would rather be fat and delicate. Don't be thin and alike.

115. The difference between an affair and an affair is whether the former has engaged in the latter.