What does it mean to spend money on noodles?

I recently read the book "Hakka Stories", written by the rural sage Teacher Qiu Simu. The book mentioned the past events of blind dates and "face money" between boys and girls in my hometown in the 1960s and 1970s. This reminds me of all the interesting things that happened in my hometown.

The so-called "face expenditure" refers to the expenses paid by the man to the woman during a blind date. This is a strange custom in my hometown. The formation of the custom probably began in the early 1950s.

Before liberation, people had no freedom in marriage. Situations of "sale marriage" are very common. The custom of "child bride" popular in rural areas is even more strange and incredible. Its origins can probably be traced back to the Ming and Qing dynasties. The so-called "child bride" means that the parents-in-law raise a baby girl or a young girl until they officially get married when they reach adulthood. The prevalence of child brides is closely related to social poverty and backwardness. At that time, the villagers were poor, and many of them could not afford a wife, so they had to adopt a girl early to be a child bride, and let her marry their son when she was fourteen or fifteen years old. There is even a type of child bride called "Waiting Langmei" who buys baby girls. She is a teenager and her son has not yet been born. The song "The Eighteen-Year-Old and the Three-Year-Old" is about this tragic marriage.

I once conducted a survey on the marital status of the older generation in a village and found that almost 90% of them were child brides. My great-grandmother married into my family when she was five years old. My grandma was also a child bride. When she was twelve she married my grandfather. The marriage of a child bride is completely decided by the parents or the matchmaker. She could not see each other until the sedan was carried through the door and the hijab was lifted, so she knew what the bride and groom looked like. Fortunately, the husband and wife love each other and grow old together. Unfortunately, marriage is a life of misery and suffering. In short, men and women have no freedom at all.

Fortunately, after liberation, the country promulgated the Marriage Law, which promoted freedom of love and autonomy in marriage. The phenomenon of child brides was basically eliminated, changing the situation of "parents running the house" and buying and selling marriages.

But because my hometown is remote and the transportation is backward, I have to walk in and out. The living circle is almost limited to a one or two hour walk, and information is quite limited. At that time, people worked collectively in production teams and could not often go out privately, so the circle of young men and women was very small. At that time, true free love still belonged to a few people. Most people have to go through matchmakers or relatives and friends. In this context, young people's desire to pursue their own marriage has given rise to the custom of "looking at girls."

At that time, feudal ideas were still deeply ingrained in people’s minds, and there were still many restrictions on the interactions between men and women. If you have too much contact with someone, you will be considered a "playboy" or even have a "bad style". Therefore, interactions between men and women are still relatively cautious. This is especially true for women, who feel that if they are looked at too much by men, they will "lose money" (suffer a loss). Therefore, the appeal of "If You Are the One" appeared. In order to show the man's sincerity, meeting his sister requires a certain "cost". Therefore, it is customary for a man to pay a small fee when "seeing his sister." This is where “spending money in person” comes in.

The meeting between a man and a woman takes the initiative, so it is called "meeting the younger sister" rather than "meeting the younger brother". To 'meet a girl', the date and place are usually agreed upon in advance and accompanied by relatives, friends or a matchmaker. Most of them will use the polder day to meet in tailor shops, blacksmith shops and other shops on the street. We rarely meet directly at the woman’s home.

Before leaving, the men will cut their hair neatly and put on clean clothes. I remember that Uncle Amu in the village wanted to go to the Xiaoshenghuangnitang market to "see my sister" because his family was very difficult and he didn't have any decent clothes. His uncle had just made a new pair of pants, so Uncle Amu came to borrow them. By the way, I also borrowed my uncle’s watch. Decades later, Uncle Amu recalled this past event with a bitter smile on his face.

When a man and a woman meet, the first thing they do is pay "face money", just like buying a ticket. The "payment" method is also straightforward. He took out the prepared "face money" from his pocket and handed it directly to the woman. The woman is generous and will of course put "face money" in her pocket. There were no red envelopes at that time. So just give it directly. Yet it seems simple and natural.

There seems to be no limit to the amount of "face money", usually two yuan. If the family can't get any money, they can give 50 cents. I heard it was as much as five yuan.

Uncle A read my sister’s story and it was passed down as a joke in the countryside. He took a boat to the end of Tanjiang River to see his sister. As soon as he arrived at the store, he saw a girl sitting on a chair in the tailor's shop reading a newspaper. Uncle Agen was very disappointed when he saw the girl's appearance. He was so nervous that he immediately took out five yuan and stuffed it into the girl's hand.

The girl blushed suddenly and was about to explain. Uncle Aguan said that he was in a hurry and left in a hurry.

Actually, that girl is not the "little sister" that Uncle Agen wants to "meet", she is just accompanying her best friend on a blind date. Uncle Gen dared to miss a good marriage. A few years later, Uncle Agen realized that what he missed at that time was actually a virtuous and beautiful woman, and he couldn't help but regret it.

When a man and a woman meet, they fall in love at first sight and secretly make a promise; some are lukewarm and indecisive. Some experienced people, when they see both men and women blushing, can guess that the other person is touched, so they make an extra point and say, "How about it?" If you don’t mind, stir-fry noodles! Seeing that both parties were silent, the escort took the initiative to "make fans" at noon.

"Fried rice noodles" is a meal of pork fried rice noodles for two people in a tailor shop. The owner of the tailor shop is a good tailor and a good cook. He will "grow up" enthusiastically and cook delicious food for young men and women. Usually, when the master of a tailor shop knows that someone is coming to "visit a girl" today, he will prepare pork, rice noodles and other ingredients in advance. Naturally, everyone, including the tailor and his entourage, can take advantage of the opportunity and have a meal of fried rice noodles with pork paid for by the man. At that time, eating a good meal was still a luxury.

After eating fried rice noodles, the relationship between men and women is established. The next step is to "step into the home", see the family tradition, and learn more about the situation of the man's family. But this is secondary. As long as both men and women are willing, there are no obstacles. Just like what is sung in the Hakka folk song: Brother has a heart, sister has a heart, the mountain is high and the mountain is not afraid of the depth. When the mountains are high, there are people who clear the way, and when the water is deep, there are people who build boats.

It is especially important to choose a companion when visiting your sister. Never choose a girlfriend who is prettier than you to accompany you, and a man cannot arrange for a handsome guy to go with him to avoid complications. Ahai, his brother in the village, is the best friend he has ever seen as a "good sister". The two parties fell in love at first sight, and there were several years of embarrassment.

He recalled in the article that when he was young, he went from Hounan to Nanshan to see his sister, spent money, and then got married. At the end of the article, he also wrote a poem, which is also very interesting:

Humble Ye Jing

She is seventeen years old,

with white hair on her face Wrinkles even.

Thinking back to those days when I had beautiful noodles,

Precious noodles cost two yuan. Related Q&A: Related Q&A: When I went to my boyfriend’s house for dinner for the first time in Guangdong, his mother gave me a 20 yuan red envelope. What does it mean?

This is called "rewarding noodles", it can be more or less, it all has the same meaning. Relatives' children also need to be rewarded when they come for the first time. This is a local custom and has nothing to do with the number. You don't need to give it when you come again in the future. . In fact, this custom does not exist in every family. Some people do not pay attention to this and just meet each other when they meet. Some people do not give red envelopes. Guangdong's concept of money in marriage is indeed lighter than other places, but it values ????emotions. If the woman dares to speak loudly, she will be looked down upon and said to be a betrayal, and all face will be lost. Nowadays, more and more betrothal gifts and face-grabbing red envelopes are given in Guangdong. The main reason is also influenced by other places. I am from Chaoshan, and I have a friend whose daughter is a graduate student. When I got married, the husband’s parents asked me what my friend’s requirements were. My friend replied to him: "I don't have any requirements, I just hope that they will be loving and loving." ’ I once secretly asked a friend, why don’t you mention some betrothal gifts? Your daughter is a graduate student, and it’s not easy to train her! My friend said, ‘Can I mention it? It sounds like you are selling your daughter. As long as his family treats my daughter well, it's better than giving any amount of bride price! ’