Humorous jokes

Humorous jokes, when people are in a bad mood or feel particularly sad, they will choose to watch jokes. After reading the joke, the whole person will be happy, and then throw away all the unhappy emotions. Share humorous jokes with you and have fun together.

Humorous joke 1 First, if you don't work hard now, you will move bricks that others knock on the wall in the future.

Second, I haven't kissed for too long, even if I eat a duck tongue, I will feel gentle. If you don't hold hands for too long, you will feel shivering with a pickled chicken feet.

Third, there will always be someone who will love you, your small eyes, low nose, short legs, weight that won't lose and your shameless personality.

Fourth, remember, dear, the good-looking one is called coquetry, and the ugly one is called wild!

5. Go after them if you like, no matter whether they have boyfriends or girlfriends, the team has goalkeepers. The ball will not move in the same way.

Don't think that your girlfriend is idolized, an idolized person has the ability to you, and you are laughing.

Seven, men can't find a girlfriend, but they can only tell fortune. Fortune teller: You are doomed to have no women in the first half of your life. The man's eyes lit up: what about the second half? The fortune teller said: You will get used to it for the rest of your life.

Eight, the TV said that there would be radiation under the pillow, which scared me to turn off the TV and throw away the pillow.

There are three things that young people can't touch: idolization, mahjong and the glory of the king. The more you touch them, the more interesting it is to be alone.

X. I can't afford AA system now. I invented an AAB system. It's your AA. I'm embarrassed to go.

I often see the news that staying up late is harmful, which really scares me to death. I will never watch the news again.

In the past, horses and chariots were slow and letters were far away. I have only loved one person in my life; Now the internet is very fast, and there are many husbands. Anyway, there is no boyfriend.

Humor Joke 2 Classic Humor Joke (1)

A, a mm, the QQ automatic reply after leaving for a period of time is very simple "not here!" So this chat record appeared: Are you there? Not here! Is it really not here? Not here! Let me ask you something. Oh, do you still have your first kiss? Not here! Huh? So you still have your * *? Not here! Do you still have virginity? Not here! Hey, you've gone too far. Do you still have shame? Not here!

B, there's a small restaurant on the roadside called Wen+Bao. At first, I walked around the door every day and found nothing wrong. Later, I passed the store with a classmate, who told me how the name of the store came from. I suddenly understood ... less than a month later, the store was closed down by the industry and commerce, and the brand was removed, and the fine was 1000 yuan. ...

C. I went shopping for clothes with LP two days ago and chose two. I tried it on in the fitting room and heard LP bargaining with the proprietress outside: a piece of 38, a piece of 58, two pieces of *** 100 yuan. Just wipe off the change. The proprietress said, no, we have a special price, and a penny is not cheap. 100 yuan we can't sell it! Finally, I came out to pay the money, and the boss took the money, 96. ...

D. My daughter is over 2 years old. I took her to the subway a few days ago. There were a lot of people when I arrived, and there was no place. My daughter is too young to stand still, even if she holds me. Just wanted to see if anyone could help. At this moment, I saw a PLMM beside me, so I pulled my daughter aside and said to her, "Little darling, ask this elder sister, can I sit on your lap?" My daughter is very good, so she said to PLMM, "Sister, can you let Dad sit on your lap?"

Classic humorous jokes (2)

First, persuade wine

A leader said on the wine table, "Now I propose three glasses of wine. The first cup, who doesn't drink, who am I! " Everyone was in an uproar. Let's drink quickly.

"The second cup, whoever doesn't drink, who is my dad!" They hurried to drink.

"The third cup, who doesn't want to drink, is called the person who has already drunk!" Everyone drank, got drunk and threw up.

Business is very good.

While eating in the restaurant, a buddy went to the toilet halfway. After he came back, he mysteriously told us: "The business in this hotel is so good that even the toilet has two tables!" " Just when everyone was wondering, a group of people rushed over, picked up the buddy and hit him. We asked, "He didn't annoy you. Why did you hit him? "

"We had a good meal, and this guy went to our private room to pee."

C, drunk

One day, a man came home drunk at night. Not long after lying down, he felt a heat flow on his face, and then his tongue licked his lips. A man can't help feeling hot and thinking, "Why is my wife so warm tonight?"

The next day, a man woke up drunk and looked up. He slept in his pigsty, next to an old sow.

The duty of a bull

The farmer explained to his neighbor why he put the prize-winning bull on the plow and let it plow:

"I want it to understand that there are other things in life besides reproduction."