A joke in a chat.

The complete works of jokes during chatting.

When chatting, you can tell jokes together often, which can improve people's mentality, reduce negative energy to people, tell more jokes and handle things with a humorous attitude, and life will be easier. Let's share the jokes during the chat.

Chat joke 1 1 Someone came to pick me up from work, and I flew all the way across the crosswalk ~

Someone: What are you running for? .

Me: Do I look like a freshly roasted bird?

Someone: @ # $%&; * ... should be out. ...

Me:-

Someone is asking about the room facilities of the landlord of the serviced apartment. ...

Someone: By the way, how big is the bed?

Landlord: 1 m2

Someone: Er, is the length and width all 1㎡?

Me: @ $%&* ... You are a pig! ! ! The length and width are1.2m.. That's a mahjong table!

Step 3 walk in the street ...

Me: (referring to a roadside food stall) Hey! What is "skin fish silk skin"? I want to eat that!

Someone: (Look …) I'm dizzy! That's cold rice noodles, frog fish, vermicelli and rolled skin! ! !

4. Someone: Well, that's it ... Well, do you know what I mean? A pig forgot how to say it when he spoke. )

Me: I see!

Someone: well, we don't have to talk anymore. Just make a face.

Me: Two facial paralysis. ...

5. Me: With you, I feel really close to ink. You must think you are near Zhu Zhechi, right?

Someone: I'm crazy about getting close to a pig (maybe eating? )!

Me: @ # $%&; *……

6. Me: I hope I'm still so thin when I'm 70, and then we'll go for a walk hand in hand. ...

Someone: There must be a child asking me, "Where did you buy this pig-shaped kite?"

Me: @ # $%&; *……

7. Me: What's the word, genius or genius man?

Someone: gifted.

Me: Oh, it's just a pie in the sky. ...

Someone: What?

Me: God is God, and giving is giving. Different things are different cakes, so they should be big cakes. ...

Someone: @ # $%&; * You only know how to eat ...

8. On the way, I frowned and complained in frustration. Suddenly, someone tripped twice. ...

Me: (moved) It is really hard for you to make me happy. ...

Someone: @ # $%&; *……

9. Me: You pig brain, you can't remember what we are like together, can you?

Someone: Who said I don't remember? I remember what you said. You must have forgotten, right?

Me: nonsense, let's confront each other!

Someone: OK!

Me: I am not a league member if I am afraid of you! : purpose

Someone: @ # $%&; *……

10, I: I had a dream yesterday, but it was a mess. ...

Someone: What dream?

Me: In my dream, I am a client for a while and a bystander for a while. ...

Someone: @ # $%&; *……

Me:-I mean ... attention ...

Jokes in Chat 2 Joke SMS

1. Once upon a time, a man named Shuang died. On the day of the funeral, his family wept bitterly. They cried and screamed at his grave. Shuang Shuang … Shuang Shuang … At this moment, passers-by asked, what are you admiring? Shuang Jia replied with tears: we are so cool …

This short message is brief and to the point. No advertising, no nonsense. Sweet words are just bubbling. Just be happy and know yourself. Happiness can't run away, so I won't say what I think. I wish you success: Happy New Year!

3. New Year's Day is coming, it is too routine to give gifts, and there is no trick to bless. I only hope that my dear friends will be harassed by the God of Wealth every day, always illuminated by Maitreya, make big money, laugh happily and run happily.

This new year message came in the heat wave that swept through! May you have Buffett's financial resources, Furong's compact figure, the social status of the five bars, the enthusiasm of grabbing the salt tide, the wealth of the imperial city, and the same happiness as the longer the house price!

One day, a death row prisoner was being shot, but because of the quality of the bullet, the bailiff missed the first shot, the second shot and the third shot. When the bailiff was about to fire the fourth shot, the prisoner suddenly turned around and hugged the bailiff's leg, crying, Brother, you can strangle me, which is really fucking scary …

6, train students to nourish the eight-character decision, saying: Voss is going to become a monk, is going to become a monk. Read aloud five times on the balcony every morning, and you will be alert and have an appetite. For the sake of your health, you must persist!

7. I wish you a "super guerrilla" in the new year: you can survive when you encounter difficulties. The longer you grow, the more you look like a white-faced scholar. Your speech can be full of fun. Worry makes it barren. Happiness makes it this life. Wish you a happy life!

8. This sincere, sincere message, one in a hundred, trudged all the way from thousands of miles away and finally got into your mobile phone, bringing you my deep affection-Happy New Year's Day! Don't forget, my friend

9. When buying clothes, the salesman (contemptuously): This dress is very expensive. Don't touch it unless you buy it. Jane Doyle: It seems that you are rich? Don't sell it if you have money!

10, Spring Festival, Tang Priest added a cotton gown, Wukong added cotton trousers, Friar Sand added a cotton cap, Bajie, your little hand, don't just play with your mobile phone to read text messages, remember to buy a small glove.

1 1. Laugh happily every day, live happily, feel better, and good luck will come. Happiness will naturally knock on the door, so the mentality is the most important. In the new year, I will send a short message to make you laugh happily!

12, Fengtian Freight, the emperor said: Mindful of Ai Qing's loyalty and hard work, I specially gave Ai Qing the right to shop for free. How to get it: Take this short message to a nearby shopping mall and choose whatever you need. It would be nice if he gave you everything. If he doesn't pick it up, he will run. Qin this! Note: The final interpretation right of this message belongs to me.

13, I made a wish on New Year's Day: I want to wash my feet for good luck, rub my back for good luck, bring me tea for happiness, and pour me water for good luck. The best part is that I don't know the east, the west and the north. Finally, I wish this person who reads the information as dizzy as me a happy New Year!

14 How are you? I think you ... have always dreamed of walking with you on that grass recently. If there is still a chance, just say weakly: only eat grass, not defecate anywhere!

15, an ugly monkey went to a matchmaking agency to find someone, and the boss said it was expensive. The ugly monkey said it was cheap and the boss said it was stupid. The ugly monkey said it doesn't matter, so the boss shouted at the window → Fool, don't read the message, come out on a blind date.

16 I will send a short message worth 10 RMB to all the handsome and beautiful brothers and sisters who have a certain position in my heart. I'll invite you to a five-star hotel tomorrow ... and watch others eat! Please bring your own napkin so as not to get wet with saliva. I wish you all a happy, mobile and happy look!

17, life is your welfare home, relaxation is your massage room, happiness is your base camp, happiness is that you meet Uncle Benshan every day, work is someone else's work, you get the money, and the surprise is my message to wish you a happy New Year!

18. Yesterday, I was lucky enough to meet this old gentleman in the palace and gave me an elixir. Now I'm in a hurry, but something terrible happened immediately: I can see many monsters every day, and the important thing is that I actually found you ... slacker.

19, I am a kind person and keep a low profile. New Year's Day is coming, and I'm afraid I can't squeeze into the fast lane of blessing you, so I wish you a happy New Year!

Forgive me for keeping silent at this inappropriate moment. Apart from harassment, I may really be unable to dig out any deep meaning. If you wake up accidentally, remind you to cover the quilt and turn off your cell phone when you sleep again!