I am in urgent need of funny quotations from priests, just like those in If You Are the One 2, but it is better to be original, thank you. .

The furthest distance in the world is when we go out together. You buy four generations of apples and I buy four generations of apples.

Doctor, please give me some regret medicine and a glass of forgetfulness water.

I never lie, except this sentence.

4. If you get bored again, tie it to a grass boat and borrow an arrow. .

The world is coming to an end, and there is one thing I have been keeping from you. Actually, I am Altman.

It is a principle to find a penny for uncle pol.ice on the roadside, but finding ten dollars is beyond the scope of the principle.

7. No one looks down on you because others don't look at you at all. Everyone is busy.

8. I'm not afraid of going to hell, ............... What I'm afraid of is not having you in hell.

9. Others eat longevity noodles on their birthdays, and I eat dried noodles on my birthday.

10. The oath was caught by a lie. Swear at the lie: don't shoot, I'm undercover.

1 1 doctor and master, endless; The last session, this session, the next session and the next session are all unemployed. Horizontal batch: willing to study and admit defeat.

12. On the bus, a man whispered to the person next to him, "Are you Li Gang?" A: "No"; "Is your father Li Gang?" , "not"; "Do you have any relatives and friends named Li Gang?" , "no"; "That you fucking let go of your feet, you stepped on Lao tze! ! ! "

13. Dream, anything is possible.

14. It's easy to call a wife, but calling an old woman is a lifelong commitment.

15. Life is like an idol drama. Beautiful women and handsome men are idols, but I have no choice but to be a strength group.

16. I found a Q coin on the side of the road.

17. When robbing a bank, the robber said a wise saying: Nobody moves! Money belongs to the country, life is your own!

18. Not every cow has Telunsu, and not every father is Li Gang.

19. The happiest thing for a man is that his wife gave birth to her own child.

Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let others find it.

2 1. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.

22. I am a white-collar worker: I got paid today, paid the rent, utilities, bought instant noodles with oily rice, touched my pocket and sighed. I am a white-collar worker again this month …

23. Unrequited love is a successful washing tool, and it becomes a tragedy when it is said.

24. What is your vital capacity? You are so boastful.

25. Don't tell me to grow old together. I want to have black hair forever.

26. If failure is success, then review is success.

27. I caught up with the cooling and rain yesterday, and I was frozen with a rain and a cold ~ ~

28. If I don't consider my height, I am a handsome guy under my neck.

29. It's no use being handsome. Can I swipe my card with that face after spending?

30. I am not a casual person. I am not a casual person …

3 1. You said you would wait for me to come back, and you did it. You found someone to wait with.

Nowadays, children like fairy tales, stories and myths. I prefer disobedience.

33. Man struggles upwards as long as he is not afraid of dying on Mount Everest.

The most nonsense is the sentence on the cigarette case, smoking is harmful to health.

35. It turns out that Cherry Maruko fell in love with watermelon Taro because their hairstyles are lovers'.

36. I washed my hair very carefully today, for fear of brain damage.

37. These days, all the people who borrow money are grandfathers, but those who ask for money are just like grandchildren.

I thought I was decadent, and I didn't know that my morning paper was scrapped until today.

39. Once I looked up at the starry sky with my friends, and then we burst into tears. He was lovelorn and I sprained my neck.

40. Which fairy tale heroine has no breasts? Little red riding hood, because her grandmother was eaten by a wolf …

4 1. Even kindergarten children think Animal World is better than News Network ~

42. The cashier said: No change. Here are two plastic bags for you.

43. I am not greedy for life, but I am afraid of death.

44. Happiness is that no matter how late it is, I can hear your good night.

1. Push me again and I'll play dead for you!

I have not only a car, but also my own!

There are so many people who look down on me. Who are you?

I won't tell you if you kill me, but you haven't made a beautiful plan yet!

6. Not only am I lucky, but I also have athlete's foot!

8. Is there a P for handsome? Probably eaten by a pawn!

9. Give it to me, and you don't have to worry. There is nothing wrong!

10. Relax, I'm not a good person. ......

12. How dare I charge you if you don't thank me!

13. Don't tell me to bring it on-I'm in love for two generations!

14. If you ignore me, I will be a dog!

17. Some people are alive and she is dead. Some people are alive, and he should have died!

18. You said ... Do you like me? Actually ... first of all ... actually, I also ... I told you, actually, I like myself.

19. Do you drink water, drink water or drink water? You choose!

2 1. Hey, say what should be said and whisper what shouldn't be said.

22. Can you say stealing about a scholar?

23. Damn it, don't ask single men such questions!

24. Zi once said: Don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital!

25. Don't think I'm out of reach just because I'm handsome. In fact, I am a sea of rivers.

26. Today the weather is fine, windy and rainy.

27. As a typical failure, you really succeeded!

I really want to kill this bug, but my tongue is not long enough. ...

32. If you bother me again, I'll tie you to a straw boat and borrow an arrow!

34. A: Where to eat? I have no money.

B: Let's go to the restaurant. It's on me.-the hose.

40. She is so fat that my thigh can't twist her arm.

4 1. There is a saying in Shushan, do it first, and learn from the endless sea to make porridge.

42. The world belongs to us and our sons, but in the end it belongs to our grandchildren.

1. There are always a few mistakes in the long road of life.

2. The poor monk came to the Tang Dynasty in the east and made a special trip to the Western Heaven to worship Buddha and find relatives.

3. Three points are destiny takes a hand, and seven points depend on dressing up.

As long as you work hard, the husband and wife will be grateful for one hundred days. -It is said to be a sentence in cross talk.

There is no inseparable couple, only a mistress who doesn't work hard.

6. Put customers to sleep.

7. "Back to bed rate" is a good word.

8. I'll take it off first. Help yourself.

9. The shameless degree of the company is always beyond the imagination of employees.

10. I earn selling cabbage, and I fuck selling white powder.

1 1. I saw a car on the road in the morning, and a sign was put on the back of the car, which said: driving school is withdrawn, self-study.

12. Busy, talk about something, leave the whole thing alone.

13. You can't believe any news until it is officially denied.

14. Your country is in danger, so be cautious about rebirth.

15. You have the right to remain silent, but we will shut you up soon. -It is said that it is a Miranda warning from a certain country.

16. I spent 80,000 yuan on a pottery jar of the Western Zhou Dynasty. I went to Jianbao column for appraisal yesterday. Experts seriously said:

"Which is the Western Zhou Dynasty? This is from last week! "

17. How dare you talk to me about basketball when you don't even know Beckham!

18. Fall, get up and cry.

19. We walk so fast that our souls can't keep up. ...

20. Don't be common sense with people on earth.

2 1. A Taoist who doesn't want to be an abbot is not a good Taoist!

22. If you can't bear it, bear it again!

23. I know astronomy above, geography below, but I don't know English.

24. Looking fat, taking off your clothes is still fat!

To avoid excessive drinking, please stay awake when you are drunk.

26. I swear never to swear again!

27. Half of life is bad luck, and the other half is dealing with bad things.

28. Stupid is too smart!

29. Although I lied to you, you have to believe me!

30. Women's tears are the most useless liquid, but you make women cry to show that you are useless.

3 1. Living is the last word.

In public, I often choose politeness, but in private, I often insult my manners.

33. I am also a cow this year!

34. The wind is rustling and the water is cool, and the strong man does not stop diarrhea!

35. Time is really precious. Just a second ago, someone robbed the toilet.

Although I can't be a descendant of the rich, I must be an ancestor of the rich.

37. Although the famous flowers are taken, I will loosen the soil!

38. My principle is: if people don't attack me, I won't attack; If someone attacks me, I will be angry!

Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.

40. Women like ugly men and don't like ugly men. Agree 1 1| Comment