Ask for advice on two-dimensional jokes.

1, He Lao gave us a careful analysis of Ge's situation: He is resting now. You see, he will come today, but he won't come tomorrow, and he hasn't handed in his homework. Come back the day after tomorrow and say you didn't hear yesterday's homework. You should study hard and float to Zhang Sanfeng.

2. In a high school women's basketball game, a girl grabbed a rebound in her own backcourt, got up and threw it in her own column. She failed, grabbed the rebound and threw it, or failed, grabbed the rebound and threw it. That's right. The referee and all the spectators outside the court laughed their heads off.

3. Love letter in the classroom: I like you! I am sincere, this is my love letter to you! Please write back to me if you like; If not, please pass it on to the next person.

When I was in high school, I took an English exam. After the teacher pressed the listening tape, a boy sitting in front of me wrote a book to fill in the answers. Looking at his confident back, we all sighed. English listening came to an abrupt end, and he put down his pen smartly. At this time, a voice came from the tape recorder: "The listening audition time is over, and now the official exam begins."

5. Graduation examination is held in detective school. One of the problems is: "there is a car speeding on the road without turning on the light." Suddenly, a drunk in black walked into the middle of the road. There are no street lamps and no moon. Seeing that the man was about to be knocked down by a car, but the car suddenly stopped, what was the reason? " Someone replied, "Because the drunk's eyes are shining." Others replied, "Because the drunk shouted loudly." None of them are right. The correct answer is: it was daytime.

6. Smith didn't study hard in college, but played all day and always failed in the exam. His father wrote a letter and told him, "If you get an A, I will give you a car." After the final exam, Smith wrote back to his father: "Dear father, I decided not to take the exam, because it is not easy for you to make money, and I can't bear to let you spend money."

When the bell rang, Mr. John walked into the classroom of Class One, Grade One. He dipped his hand in saliva, slammed open his textbook and cleared his throat. Students, today we teach the first class about hygiene from childhood. Please open your books. "。 The children stared at the teacher one by one, and some put their fingers into their mouths blankly and dipped their tongues ...

8. At Butler University in Indianapolis, students studying religious cosmology had a heated debate about the existence of God. For several weeks, I have studied Anserme's ontology, Kent's criticism of theism and St. Thomas Aquinas's cosmology. One day, the professor announced that a big exam would be postponed. Only one student shouted ecstatically, "Is there really a God?"

9. In Chinese class, the teacher asked everyone to say idioms in the form of "one … one …", such as "wholeheartedly". The painter's son: "Draw one at a time." The captain's son: "One wave is not flat, and another wave rises." Son of real estate agent: "One room, one living room, one kitchen and one bathroom."

10, in Chinese class, the teacher asked the students to make sentences with the newly learned idioms "pull a long face" and "smile". Doudou replied: "When I get paid every month, my father always gives money to my mother with a sad face, and my mother counts it with a smile." "

1 1. A boy has secretly loved a girl for a long time. One day in the self-study class, the boy finally got up the courage to write a note to the girl, which read: In fact, I have been paying attention to you for a long time. After a while, the note came back, which read: Please don't tell the teacher, I promise I will never eat melon seeds in class again!

12, teacher: "Why is your composition style and intonation completely different?" Student: "My father and my mother have nothing in common at all."

13. At the parent-teacher meeting, the teacher introduced my son's study and said, "He copied Wang Hong, Chang Lu and Zhang Lei this semester. You should take good care of it. " I asked, "He has surpassed the monitor Wang Hong. What do I care? " The teacher said, "I mean, he copied other people's homework."

14, the computer nerd teacher is reciting at random. A student's back fell down in a short time due to inertia. Without inertia, he stopped. I really can't remember, so I have to ask, "Teacher, can I start from the beginning?" "I only heard the teacher answer," OK, I'll save the disk first, and then you can restart it! "

15. Every Mother's Day, teachers always remind students how hard it is to be a mother, and most students will add a sentence to their compositions: Be filial to your mother when you grow up! But today's children have further ideas. Xiaomei, who is in the first grade of primary school, wrote in her diary: When a mother is so hard, she must let her children be filial to me in the future!

16, when I was in junior high school, the teacher asked us to evaluate ourselves, so I said, "rice comes to reach out" and my roommate replied, "clothes come to open my mouth." Everybody laughs!

17, the "teaching" and "abrupt" teachers took you to focus on reading, and the students on duty in the morning reading class also took you to read it many times. Wang still chose the wrong pronunciation. Now I've decided to sentence Wang to death and execute it immediately-pull it out and make a decision! With a wave of my hand, many students imitated my appearance, waved their hands and shouted, "Stop it! "

18, in winter, the cold wind is howling. The students went in and out from the front door. The student sitting by the front door was blown to tears, but it was written on the door: "It's cold, please go through the back door." Thank you for your cooperation. A student sitting at the back door did the same thing and wrote, "Fight corruption and promote honesty. No back door. "

19. In class, the teacher is talking about the dialectical relationship between contradiction and unity. Seeing a classmate reading extracurricular books below, I called him over and said, "Please talk about the relationship between contradiction and unity." It's time to be in a daze and then answer "Never mind." The teacher asked, "Why?" The student replied: "Mao Dun is a writer, and unity is instant noodles. Of course, it doesn't matter. "

20. In the medical college, the teacher is teaching the students. The teacher said, "There was a patient who was born lame because one leg was shorter than the other." Then, the teacher asked a student, "Xiao Ming, please think about it." What will happen if this happens? " Xiao Ming thought it over carefully and replied, "I think I will be lame in that case."