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Xiaoming's humorous jokes in class

The complete works of Xiaoming's classroom humor jokes

1. In math class.

The teacher asked: Mathematics is a very useful subject. What is our goal in learning mathematics?

Xiaoming:? No cavities! ?

After class, Xiao Ming was so excited that he played games alone and didn't hear the bell ring. The math teacher called him several times but he didn't respond. Five minutes after class?

Xiao Ming ran to the door and shouted? Report! ?

The math teacher said angrily. Even when I call a dog, it wags its tail! ?

Xiaoming whispered:? I have no tail.

The whole class burst into laughter.

In Chinese class, the teacher called sleepy Xiaoming to answer questions. Xiao Ming is in a daze and can't speak?

The teacher said: Will you? You won't let me know! ?

Xiaoming:? Cheap. ?

The class laughed.

Xiaoming sits in the last row, next to the back door of the classroom. He must sleep in every class. Every time after class, I was woken up by my deskmate and then walked out of the classroom to bask in the sun. Once in class, the teacher asked Xiaoming to answer questions for the first time. Xiao Ming, who was asleep, was awakened by his deskmate, stood up and pushed the door out of the classroom. Five minutes later, Xiao Ming felt something was wrong and hurried back to the classroom. All the teachers and students in the school laughed.

One day, in order to enliven the classroom atmosphere, the math teacher wrote a question on the blackboard and said:? Come on, Xiao Ming, go to the blackboard and tell us how to do this problem. ?

Xiaoming unhurriedly stepped onto the platform and asked? Teacher, do you mean to let me talk here like a teacher?

The teacher replied:? what's up

Xiao Ming immediately took it and said: Come, monitor, please come to the blackboard and tell us how to do this problem. ?

6. The math teacher is lecturing in the classroom, but he said angrily to the noisy classroom. The noise made by two children is equal to 10000 ducks. ? One day, the math teacher's five-year-old son came to school to find him. Xiao Ming reports:? Teacher, there are 5000 ducks looking for you outside! ?

7. Teacher: Now, let's make a sentence and change it into an imperative sentence.

Xiao pang raised his hand: the cow pulled the car.

Teacher: Who can change it into an imperative sentence?

Xiao Ming raised his hand: Huh? Drive!

Teachers often educate everyone in class. When you see other people's shortcomings and misfortunes, don't laugh at them. One day, Xiao Ming said to the teacher. Today, a child fell into a puddle on campus, and everyone laughed except me. ? You did the right thing. ? The teacher praised it. Who fell into the puddle? It's me. ? Xiao Ming replied.

9. Two teachers were talking about their students. One of them said: Yesterday, a student came to class without washing his face, so I sent him home. ?

Another teacher immediately said:? Good idea, he will definitely come to school clean today! ?

? No, the whole class didn't wash their faces today ?

10. The nature teacher asked Xiaoming: Do you know the function of cowhide? Xiao Ming scratched his head and said; ? I don't know? I know. He raised his hand at the same table and said that it was used to wrap beef together. ?

1 1. In class, the teacher assigned a composition. The topic is: What is laziness? In the evening, the teacher corrects the composition under the lamp. When he opened Xiaoming's composition book, he found that the first page was blank, and then the second page was blank. He only saw one line on the third page:? This is called laziness! ?

The teacher asked Xiaoming:? Why did you lend your report card to Xiao Qiang? No, I didn't mean to. ? Jimmy replied shyly? He said he wanted to scare his parents. ? And the result? The teacher asked again. ? As a result, Jimmy replied that Xiao Qiang's ass was swollen. ?

13. Teacher: Xiao Ming, please use it? Sure enough? This word constitutes a sentence.

Xiaoming: yesterday, I ate apples first, and then drank boiled water?

Teacher: No, no, you can't make sentences like this!

Xiao Ming: I'm not finished yet! Yesterday, I ate apples first, and then drank boiled water. Sure enough, I have diarrhea!

14. Recently, the primary school near Xiaoming's home dug holes everywhere because of laying cables. On this day, Xiaoming came to school to play. First he saw pits everywhere, and then he saw rows of primary school students in military uniforms receiving military training. He couldn't help sighing loudly. The military training here is really formal, and so many trenches have been dug. ?

15. The teacher asked the students: What do you think is the longest and shortest?

Xiao Ming answered at once? The last few minutes of a class are the longest and the last few minutes of an exam are the shortest. ?

16. The teacher asked Xiaoming: What did you eat there?

Xiao Ming replied: chewing gum!

The teacher said angrily, spit it out at once!

Xiao Ming said: No, my deskmate Panda Kai just lent it to me!

17. Xiao Ming said to his parents as soon as he got home today: Only I can answer a question asked by the teacher at school today.

Parents asked happily: What's the problem?

Xiao Ming said: Did the teacher ask? Who didn't hand in their homework?

18. After the mid-term exam, the math teacher will announce the results. He said: there are as many people with 90 points or more as those with 80 points or more; There are as many people over 80 as over 70. ? As soon as the words were finished, the whole class cheered. Xiao Ming asked:? So what? What about the number of people who failed? The teacher answered easily:? There are as many people who fail in the class. ?

19. Xiaoming showed his jokes to his deskmate, who smiled after reading them.

Xiao Ming asked excitedly:? Is my joke bad?

The deskmate replied:? Can this be called a joke?

20. Xiaoming is absent-minded in Chinese class.

Suddenly the teacher asked:? Xiao Ming, can you name two pronouns?

Xiao Ming stood up, shook his head and said, who? Me! ?