Please give a few jokes, five, the more the better.

1, I asked my deskmate, do I sing well?

He said: when he is in a bad mood, any song he hears is terrible! Then he immediately said, I was in a bad mood when you sang. .

Yesterday morning, a classmate's phone rang. He looked at the number, cleared his throat, and then solemnly told us not to make any noise. His goddess was calling.

Then we all looked at him with rapt attention, only to hear him connect the phone and say, "Hey, Mom, what's wrong!" " "

Second-rate students caught a cold and went to the clinic to get medicine.

The doctor asked: Are there 20?

Classmate: No, only one 100!

Doctor: I mean your age!

Classmate: Oh, I am 18!

Doctor: Have a fever?

Classmate: Yeah.

Doctor: How high?

Student: 165.

Doctor: I mean, what's your temperature? ! !

4. Classmate: Since I stopped working, I have become poorer and poorer!

Me: It's all the same, so am I!

Classmate: You are better than me, so why buy a box of cigarettes! I dare not put it casually when I go out to ride a battery car. If someone charges, I have to call home to redeem it!

Me. . .

When I was in kindergarten, one of my classmates was very lively. If you want to go out in class, you always use the toilet as an excuse to ask for leave from the teacher.

Once the teacher was impatient and wouldn't let him out.

After class, he grabbed a handful of poop from his crotch and held it up to the teacher and said, teacher, I'm not lying to you.