In marriage, the meaning of equality between men and women is not only to get married without a bride price, don't you think?

Sometimes, those who always say that men and women are equal just want to find an excuse for their selfishness.

One of my classmates has such a husband.

When he got married, he said, "What age is it now? Don't worry about gender equality and bride price. "

At that time, she was completely in love and they got along very well. At the same time, she is not a person who has to pay the bride price. It's just a formality, she thinks.

Later, naturally, I didn't want anything. Her parents said, "As long as you two are happy, you can get rid of everything else."

But she is the only child in the family, and the dowry has already been prepared, so her parents naturally gave it to her.

After getting married, her husband said, "We are all a family, and your dowry money is mine. Take it out for use. You know, my mom's shop has been renovated recently, and the funds can't be transferred. "

She agreed.

Then, her husband said, "Isn't it natural for a woman to keep the house and be filial to her in-laws? Otherwise I might as well do it alone. If I get someone back, I will definitely do everything I should do at home. "

Sometimes when the family is busy, she asks her husband to help. Her husband said, "don't you women all do these things?" ? What men do like these things will be laughed at if they say it! "

After marriage, she takes care of the children alone, but her husband can't move at all, but he still thinks he is a good father, much more capable than her, on the grounds that he laughs when teasing the children.

She said, "Maybe he thinks that children don't need to eat, drink and sleep when they grow up. He can handle these things by himself. And he, only when the children are dressed neatly, said on a whim,' Come, dad hugs', feeling that the father loves the house, which is much worse than me. "

Later, my mother-in-law became ill and was taken care of in the hospital. Because there are children at home, the meal was delivered half an hour late. Her husband yelled at her, "What can you do if you can't even do this well?"

It is obvious that he is in the hospital himself. It would be faster if he ordered takeout.

02

Finally, one day, when her husband laughed at her low monthly income, she lost her temper: "If I can take care of my family and earn money to support myself, what do I want you to do?" Are you angry? "

Marriage is originally a matter of two people, and the big and small things in natural marriage should also be a matter of two people.

If the division of labor is carried out strictly according to the tradition, the mode of marriage is that the man is in charge of the outside and the woman is in charge of the inside, and * * * cooperates with each other, so that the family of two people will be happier in the future.

Equality between men and women is a word often mentioned in marriage now. But I want to say that in marriage, the meaning of "equality between men and women" is not only to get married without a bride price.

Just like my classmates get married, some people talk about "equality between men and women" when they get married, mostly boys, mainly aiming at the bride price problem.

The view is: since men and women are equal, there should be no bride price when getting married.

Is the bride price an essential item in marriage? Yes, it is and it isn't.

You still need to be hired before you get married, and the Ming media is marrying, which is equivalent to the current bride price. This is a testimony to marriage.

But now, due to various practical reasons, the bride price has been inflated to a certain extent. Some exorbitant bride price, some people say, is more like a phenomenon of "selling daughters".

So he put forward the equality between men and women and said that there should be no bride price.

But then what? Is gender equality really realized in the rest of the marriage?

Obviously, in most cases, there is no such thing. The current situation is that some men talk about equality between men and women, while putting all the responsibility on their wives, taking it for granted.

My classmate said that her husband just thought that after marriage, she would go to work to earn money, clean the house, cook and wash dishes, take care of her children and take care of her mother, and was laughed at for her low income.

The worst time was when she gave her mother 1000 yuan, and her husband got angry and said that she ignored her family. That time, she didn't compromise, saying that her mother-in-law's birthday, they took two thousand, why did he smile and say that she was filial?

What is the real equality between men and women in marriage?

03

I've seen such marriages.

That girl is my high school roommate. She met her boyfriend in college and went to the point of talking about marriage. When getting married, she doesn't want a bride price, and she is not limited to these formalism.

After marriage, she started to go to work as usual, as did marriage and love. Every day after work, they go home to cook together and then go out for a walk.

There is an agreement between them: when doing things at home, the other party must help.

If she cooks, her husband washes the dishes, and vice versa; One mops the floor and the other is responsible for washing and drying clothes; Even if her husband built a stool, she would stand by and hand over the tools.

Later, she got pregnant, and her husband did a lot of things, saying that it was hard welfare for her.

When she was confined, she didn't want her mother-in-law to come and take care of her because she was worried that she wouldn't get along well with her mother-in-law. Finally, they discussed it and found a nanny to take care of it for several months, mainly responsible for cooking.

And her husband, the first thing to do when he comes home, is to take the baby from her hand and hug it, saying that she must be tired at home.

As long as he is at home, he must be responsible for receiving water when the child takes a bath; As soon as the child cries to eat, he quickly changes the milk powder without reminding; Later, she learned to change diapers. Although she was all thumbs, she said she was satisfied.

As for the Chinese New Year, they agreed to go to your house this year and my house next year, not just at the man's house.

It is inevitable that her parents will also be involved in buying things for her parents-in-law. Giving money is the same, and both sides must be the same.

They have been married like this all these years and have a good relationship. Therefore, sometimes when she hears others fighting for the bride price, she feels incredible: Is the bride price that important?

It certainly doesn't matter to her. Because in marriage, the important thing is never the bride price.

04

I have asked many girls why they get married with a bride price.

The answer is not the money itself.

It is his sincerity and sense of security, a kind of protection for himself, because not everyone who talks about gender equality can achieve real equality in marriage.

Even I have seen an extreme phenomenon. According to my mother, there is a woman in my hometown who doesn't want a bride price when she gets married. As a result, her husband's family ignored her.

Mother-in-law said in a proud tone that this daughter-in-law was not afraid to leave without spending money, saying that this was because her son was capable and she posted it herself.

Her husband, however, acquiesced in his mother's behavior and thought that in his heart, he and his wife were never equal.

If this happens, who should the woman talk to?

Therefore, after hearing these lessons, some people will use the bride price to find a sense of security for their marriage, thinking that they will know how to cherish it after paying.

I hope you can achieve real equality between men and women in your marriage.