Funny love letter from the pig killer

Dear * * *:

I love you! Although I have said this sentence many times, although you said that you can't stand it when I said this sentence and still touched the tip of the back buttock on the chopping board, although it is easier for many people to say these words than to say "I ate", I still want to say it, and swear by my elbow that I am saying it with my heart. Betty, do you love me? If you love me, please touch the pig's lips, if you don't love me, please pull the pig's tail.

Remember that I once told you that butchers love to kill pigs and love beauty more, so you will become my other hobby besides killing pigs. But you refused to admit your beauty and said that your nose was like garlic. I said gently, "This kind of nose is only available to lean pigs"; You said that your eyes are like potatoes. I can't stand your blasphemy against your beauty. I lost my temper at you for the first time: "Do you know how many pigs yearn for such big eyes?" "

I will always remember that dark night. I kissed you coolly. It was my first time. Sorry, it's not my first kiss, it's my first time. At that time, you asked me what I felt, but I dare not say. Now I can tell you. It was like taking money from others with lard on my hands. It was warm and delicate, and my heart was almost in my throat. But the best thing at that time was my nails. When I touched you gently, I could actually feel the lard left inside.

You said that you were afraid that I would forget the enemy and kill you as a pig to be slaughtered. How can it be? I am a deconstructionist slaughter artist at the end of the 2th century and the beginning of the 21st century, and I will occasionally cast aside the classical slaughter method. Although I always look at the world with a skeptical eye, although the art of killing pigs still exists in the construction of entities-butchers, pigs and knives, the understanding of killing pigs and the methodology of assisting the idea of killing pigs are gradually degenerating into chaos, chaos and even nothingness, and will eventually die out. Our generation of butchers are obviously not as lucky as the modernist masters 1 years ago. Fortunately, they are in an exciting historical moment when modern civilization attacked the city on a large scale from classical civilization-great leap in materials and slaughtering technology and great changes in social economy, all of which make butchers with a sense of social responsibility and extraordinary imagination full of ambitions.

So they took an unprecedented step, but in the next hundred years, the rapid development of slaughter technology was quite amazing, but there was no more exciting moment in slaughter, at least there was no crying when pigs were killed. To tell the truth, despite this, I am sometimes more traditional. Without this heartbreaking cry, I won't be happy, and I won't easily use my knife if I feel uncomfortable, even in my dreams. Besides, there are grapefruit you gave me on my desk, so you can rest assured that even if I sleepwalk, my knife will not fall on your head.

Funny love letter: a funny love letter to my girlfriend

Dear girlfriend:

Our relationship comes from our sincere efforts. Happiness is the result of our joint efforts, and it is the perfect combination of your tenderness and my thoughtfulness. In order to better develop our feelings, this code is specially formulated. I hope you can study it carefully and experience it carefully. It is best to write an article after reading it and keep it for investigation, so as not to waste my earnest expectations for you.

Love is an important part of our life; Having love is the perfect life and the glory of your personal life value. Maintaining love will enrich you, and your boyfriend's achievements will make your life full of meaning. Creating a successful support for your boyfriend is an opportunity to create a brilliant life. Boyfriend is the most important thing in life. Everything you do is to make your boyfriend love you. With your boyfriend's love, you will succeed.

it is your spirit to be cheerful, generous, hardworking and not haggle over every ounce. Boyfriend first is your service tenet. I hope you can practice cooking diligently. Like any perfect girlfriend, in order to make her boyfriend eat delicious, be happy to see you, and like to hear your voice, you should try your best to understand her boyfriend, so that her boyfriend will bet on her income and freedom for the rest of her life to marry you home, and you will be more popular.

boyfriends always come to you because they like you. All you have to do is keep your charm in your boyfriend's eyes. If you can keep your boyfriend infatuated with you, then your boyfriend will take good care of you. If your boyfriend is disappointed in you, no matter how hard you try, it is impossible to recover.

Girlfriends are for boyfriends. Keep this in mind, so that your boyfriend will be dead set on you, and at the same time, you will succeed through an indirect means.

You must fully realize that beauty will only attract people for a short time, enrich yourself, and making yourself beautiful is the key to maintaining your charm. You should care about your boyfriend's topic and discuss issues that should interest your boyfriend.

Boyfriends always think that women are unreasonable animals. If something unpleasant happens, you should not care about him, because psychologically, men are all children.

You should be proud of your boyfriend and boast to your friends. Being proud of being your boyfriend's girlfriend will enrich your life. It's also important not to criticize your boyfriend in front of others. A man can lose his girlfriend, but he can't lose face. Classic funny love letter "Dear Love Letter"

Dear baby:

You must be surprised by this name, right? I know that you call your baby by mistake. In fact, I have a heart, because I call all my favorite girls baby. It turns out that you really call your baby. It seems that I didn't call you baby at all. It is a baby, not because I called it, nor because you are a baby. In a word, in a word, you call it baby, and I call it baby!

I don't like to be wordy, and get to the point. Now you must wonder why I am writing to you. Please find a chair with a backrest on all sides. I'm afraid you won't fall and fall!

ok? Then I'll tell you: I'll write you a dear John letter!

don't pour it! What's wrong with you? Dear love letter, it is the most unique love letter, not a heartless book! If I really want to be rude, I should write a dear John book. Since I am rude, I have no feelings. What else can I do? Absolutely all is to pay!

I have been planning to write this dear John letter to you for a long time, but I am thick-skinned, and it takes a long time from brain reaction to mouth expression, not to mention reaching my hands? Besides, I'm still modest, and I don't like to show my heart and lungs openly. That's a sign of pride. What's there to show? It's not that I don't have black spots, but it's hidden deep. Some people are exposed to the sun all day, and the pain is almost gone; Some of them were dug too fast and were eaten by dogs! No, I still have:)

Oh, why write you a love letter? I want to tell you what love is! ? According to my years of research, love is a noun, a verb and an adjective.

When feeling is used as a noun, it refers to limbs. There is an idiom called feeling as brothers and sisters, and that's what it means. It's easier to understand when you are a verb, and when you are emotional, you hit the nail on the head. Most people use the concepts of nouns and verbs when they say love words, but what I want to say is this adjective.

am I kidding? No! I am talking about a very serious problem. For example, to describe the inexplicable relationship between two men and women, it is often said that they are lovers. This is a sentence with no subject, people are the object, emotion is the attribute, and what word is used as the attribute? I don't need to explain it in detail!

of course, our relationship is more than a love word can describe, and it must be proved by unfeeling feelings! Some people say: love is one word, so it supports heaven and earth! Pangu turned everything into a Vientiane, * * * workers and soldiers were defeated and angered, Nu Wa practiced painting and turned to heaven, Cang Xie explained the text to solve blindness, and all previous dynasties puzzled and inspired people, all of which were a love word.

A friend who has never had a drink together asked me: What is love in the world? It makes people commit to life and death! I was stunned at once, and he couldn't solve it, so he went to heaven. Later, I met a person who warned me deeply: this situation should only exist in the sky, and how can it be heard on earth! But I said: if the sky is sentimental, the sky is old, and the Tao is sunny but sunny. I didn't expect this sentence to inspire future generations, so I said: The most touching thing is to grow old together. Of course, it doesn't rule out a person's eternal age.

so, we have to be rude. We don't want your consent or your going to heaven. As long as you know, you are not alone! And I am with you at the same time! Humor confession love letter classic funny love letter

Humor confession love letter classic funny love letter

To my dearest you:

In the future, even if we are all old, gray-haired and stumbling, even if our teeth are all gone, I will lead you to search for the delicious food in this city and reminisce about every street and lane we walked through and tasted when we were young. You love food; And I love you!

honey, I've never seen a girl like you.

after being with you, I was surprised by your appetite, but I was moved by the satisfaction of your eating. You often ask me if I will dislike your funny eating and big appetite; But God knows, I just like watching you gobble up and start your weight loss plan tomorrow. It's so cute.

after being with you, I don't need to deal with this answer casually, because you will help me decide it every day. I can't stand your smile, and I don't want to stop it.

you are an elf and always surprise me. Sometimes I'm late for an appointment, and I clearly look at you moping in front of the window, but as soon as I appear, you are naughty again, conjuring up the bought snacks and sharing them with me. You are so considerate and lovely that my heart is sprouted.

Even if one day, your steps become faltering, your hair turns white, and your rosy face is covered with wrinkles, I will still walk with your hand in the afterglow of the sunset.

I like that there is only pure hope in life, only a kind of stable and moderate growth, I like the color after years of rinsing, and I like and look forward to this person who is reading short messages as my eternal lover.

I will always treat my feelings and my family, and I will be responsible for it to the end. All I do is for you. Do you know that I even hesitate to sell my youth and body for this family?

you know what? Secretly thinking that you are full of sweetness, secretly thinking that you have no pressure, secretly thinking that you are so beautiful. Only when there is your taste in time will the memory become beautiful and more meaningful.

I bought you clothes for 2 yuan, but I cheated you for only 5 yuan. You bought me a 3-yuan watch and tricked me into asking for 3 yuan.

I got a scholarship before I met you, and I took a make-up exam after I met you. You make up the exam before you know me, and you get a scholarship after you know me.

I confess, I confess, I'm bad, I'm a scoundrel, I've stolen pears from Cai's family, I've touched Li's food, I don't want the party's forgiveness, I don't want the government's mercy, I just want your love!

Do you understand the humorous confession love letter introduced above?