Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - High school Chinese language problems (language and characters)

High school Chinese language problems (language and characters)

I wonder if this counts?

Jealous

Idiom. Refers to the jealousy that arises in the relationship between men and women.

In the early years of the Tang Dynasty, Emperor Taizong Li Shimin wanted to reward Wei Zheng, the founding father of the country, by giving him several beauties as concubines. Wei Zheng refused in every possible way out of fear, but Li Shimin still insisted on letting Wei Zheng take concubines.

This incident reached the ears of Mrs. Wei, who had a fierce nature. In a rage, she rushed to the Golden Palace to argue with Li Shimin.

Li Shimin Long Yan was displeased: "Why did the fifth sister-in-law break into the Golden Palace secretly?"

Mrs. Wei was angry: "Why did your Majesty break up our loving couple?"

Li Shimin: "How do you say this?"

Mrs. Wei: "Why does Your Majesty insist on letting Wei Zheng take concubines?"

Li Shimin: "I just gave him a few beauties as concubines. , the fifth sister-in-law is still the main wife, why break up?"

Mrs. Wei: "Which man doesn't abandon his married couple when he has a new love?"

Li Shimin was speechless. Then she threatened: "My words are imperial edicts. If you break into the Golden Palace secretly and disobey the imperial edict, what crime should you do?"

Mrs. Wei: "Your Majesty insists that Wei Zheng take a concubine. It is better for me to die!"

>

Li Shimin Long Yan was furious: "I will help you." Then he ordered someone to bring poisoned wine. In fact, Li Shimin just wanted to make a joke, and what he ordered people to get was not poisonous wine. But Cheng Yaojin, who was unaware of the inside story, saw that something was wrong, so he went out and replaced the fake poisonous wine in the eunuch's hand with vinegar.

When the poisonous wine was delivered, Mrs. Wei was not afraid and cursed Li Shimin as a foolish king. Then she drank the whole pot of vinegar in one go, thinking that she would kill herself immediately. Unexpectedly, after a long time, the poison did not show up, I just felt a sour taste in my mouth.

Cheng Yaojin joked at the side: "Sister-in-law Wu, how does the poisonous wine taste?"

Mrs. Wei glared at him: "Bah! It's almost like vinegar."

Cheng Yaojin laughed loudly: "The fifth sister-in-law is so jealous, she is really jealous."

This is the origin of jealousy. Originally, Mrs. Wei was jealous in order to defend her true love, but later generations misunderstood this statement, and "jealousy" became synonymous with jealousy.

Borrow light

Idiom. Seek forgiveness or help from others in difficult situations.

In daily life, if someone is hiding from the rain under the eaves of someone else’s house, he would casually say, “Borrow light, borrow light.”

The term "borrowing light" existed a long time ago. Legend has it that there was a village somewhere in Qi State. The people in the village were very poor. The women were busy in the fields during the day and had to do night labor at night. In order to save lamp oil, everyone gathered together and lit an oil lamp. Among them was a woman whose family was even poorer. She couldn't afford any money, so she hid in and worked with everyone, and she was soon discovered. When someone questioned her, she said: "I am very poor and I really can't afford the money, but I come early and leave every day, move the chairs for you, sweep the floor and wipe the table for everyone, just with this labor I am very sensible about paying for things. Besides, if I am here, the light may not be dimmed. If I am missing, the light may not be brighter. Just lend me some light! After hearing this, everyone felt it made sense and agreed that she had "borrowed the light".

From then on, "borrowing light" became a common saying and spread like this.

(Collected and compiled by Cheng Tiancheng)

Plunder money

Idiomatic expressions. It means taking advantage of others or the public.

Once upon a time, there was a pawnbroker in Shanghai named Wang Ning. Although his business was prosperous, he was very stingy and his money was as important as his life. He is very mean to his staff. He eats thin porridge twice a day and doesn't usually serve meat. He is also harsh on himself, eating some shredded pork soup during the holidays, and there is so little shredded pork that it feels like he has to fish it out barefoot.

One day, he heard Jinhua ham being sold, and he said to him: "Ham seller, how much is a pound of south leg? Let me see." The ham seller showed him the south leg and said : "Five hundred copper coins per catty." Wang Ning deliberately dug into the ham with his smooth and long fingernails, dug out a little ham oil, and said, "Five hundred copper coins per catty? So expensive."

"He asked again: "How many cents per catty does the north leg cost? The ham seller showed him the northern leg and said, "Six hundred copper coins per catty." Wang Ning dug out the ham oil with the fingernails of his other hand and said, "It's so expensive, don't buy it, don't buy it." The ham seller asked, "How much copper per pound do you want?" He replied: "Five copper coins per catty." The ham seller said: "What a joke. Five hundred copper coins buy one hundred catties. People in Suzhou are willing to pay half the price!" "After that, he left.

Boss Wang returned home proudly. While eating, his hands were covered with the oil from the ham and asked his apprentice Sixi to wait on him: "Sixi, come and feed me. "And said: "Now Mr. Ning has finally managed to wipe the oil from the ham! While eating, he licked his fingers and said, "Ham tastes like ham after all. It's fragrant and fresh. It tastes really good." "He ate one bowl of rice with the oil on one finger, and then licked the oil on the other finger and ate the second bowl of rice. He also planned this: eat the oil on two fingers for one meal, and eat the oil on six fingers tomorrow. The oil on his two fingers was left for the day after tomorrow.

I had to ask Sixi for help that night. He didn’t dare to put his hands under the quilt. The dog had just licked the feces in the toilet and smelled the scent of oil on his body. He came over and licked the ham oil off his eight fingers.

The next day, Boss Wang asked Sixi to feed him again. When he was eating breakfast, he smelled a stinky smell when he raised his hand. He thought, the weather was not very hot, how could there be a stinky smell? Maybe the ham would go bad overnight. If he had known this, he might as well have eaten it yesterday. It was gone. Now he wanted not to eat, but he couldn't bear it. He finally wiped the oil with his hand and licked it until he finished eating.

Later, some people used it to take advantage of women. The word "mogging" was used as a metaphor. After being used for a long time, it became a common saying in Shanghai and has been spread to this day.

(Collected and compiled by Feng Hechou)

Careless

Idiom. It means doing things simply and carelessly.

It is said that in the Song Dynasty, there was a painter in the capital. Once he painted a tiger head, someone asked him to paint a horse. He drew a horse's body behind the tiger's head. The person who asked him to draw the horse asked in surprise: "Are you drawing a horse or a tiger?" The painter replied: "So-so." "Then he hung the painting on the wall and admired it day and night. His eldest son asked him what he painted, and he answered that it was a tiger. His second son asked him what he painted, and he answered that it was a horse.

Later The eldest son went hunting, mistook a horse for a tiger, and shot the horse to death. As a result, he had to compensate the owner of the horse for the loss. The second son encountered a tiger in the wild, thought it was a horse, and tried to ride it, but was killed by the tiger. When the painter heard that his second son was killed by a tiger, he burned the paintings sadly and wrote a poem to warn himself: "The pictures of sloppy tigers, the pictures of sloppy tigers, look like horses and tigers at the same time. The eldest son shot the horse to death according to the picture, and the second son fed the tiger according to the picture. Burning careless pictures in the thatched cottage, I advise you all not to imitate me. "

From then on, people called people who did not take things seriously as "Mr. Sloppy".

(Collected and compiled by Anonymous)

Daxing

Idiom Generally speaking, it refers to the poor quality of goods, dishonesty in dealing with people, failure to abide by contracts in dealings, etc.

In daily life, we often hear: If the quality of goods purchased is not good, people do not act in good faith and do not abide by contracts. Wait, everyone will blurt out: "Daxing". Why did this "Daxing" become a popular saying?

In Shanghai in the 1930s, there was a street to the right of the overseas Chinese store. (Between the past 2nd and 3rd roads) is called Daxing Street. On both sides of this street are small shops selling suits with one-room facades. The suits they sell are cheap and good-looking. However, the quality of the fabrics and workmanship was very poor, and most of them were fakes. At that time, wealthy people in Shanghai would go to famous brand stores such as "Heng Sheng" and "Wang Xingchang" to buy suits. If you pawn for goods, you can use the brand to pawn more money. Other people who have less money cannot afford brand-name suits, but they want to wear suits, so they go to Daxing Street to buy cheap suits that look straight on them. . But when an expert sees it, they will know that it is "Daxing goods" bought on Daxing Street.

Since then, the saying "Daxing" has been spread to this day.

(Collected and compiled by Yu Siyang)

Asshole

Idiomatic expressions. Refers to unreasonable and shameless words and actions (extremely angry curse words).

In the past, the Mongolian people in northern my country lived a nomadic life in groups. In order to find places with water and grass for grazing, they often carried tent-like yurts and drove their cattle, sheep and horses around. When you encounter a place with water and grass, you can set up a yurt and settle down.

During the day, the men went to graze, and everyone went to do their own work, leaving only the elderly or women to guard the tents. At this time, some young men at home rushed around the tent and sneaked into the girl's tent in order to find a young girl to fall in love with. If there was no one else in the tent, they would talk and laugh to their heart's content, flirt with each other, and even whisper to each other. Sometimes, a young man sneaks into a girl's tent and meets an old man there. When the young man sees the old man's stern face, he will say with a smile: "Ah! I'm sorry, I went to the wrong tent!" and hurriedly retreats with a blushing face. out. When young girls see the young man's awkward expression, they often just give him a faint smile. Sometimes, when a young man encounters a stern old man, as soon as the young man steps into the tent, the old man will angrily curse: "You bastard again!" "You bastard, here you go again!" "Get out of here!" The young man asked for trouble and hurriedly exited the tent.

Some tough young men who are not afraid of trouble will also sneak into the tent in the dead of night to ask the girl to come out for a tryst. The young man sneaks to the girl's bedside, gently shakes the girl awake, and then comes out together. tryst. But sometimes the young man couldn't see clearly in the dark, so he touched the old man. At this time, the old man sat up suddenly, slapped him in the face and cursed: "You bastard, why don't you get out of here?" !” “Catch him!” The young man had no choice but to run away!

Later, the words "bastard!" and "bastard!" gradually turned into an extremely irritating curse word. If someone does something immoral or unreasonable, or treats someone who is sloppy, fooling around, or irresponsible, he also curses: "Asshole!" Of course, its meaning is far beyond the original meaning.

(Collected and compiled by Anonymous)

Lai San

Idiomatic expressions. In Wu local dialect, it describes whether a person is capable, confident in thinking about problems, and successful in doing things.

When it comes to whether something is successful or not, the saying goes, "It comes three times, but it doesn't come three times." Where does this saying come from?

At the end of the Ming Dynasty, there was an examiner who wanted to make a fortune, so he sent someone out to secretly spread the news, saying that whoever came up with three hundred taels of silver would be awarded a prize. There was a scholar who was also a slippery man. He refused to take out his money easily for fear of being cheated. The person under the examiner said: "This is easy to handle. As soon as you enter the examination room, I can give you a sign. But after you finish the examination, you still have to pay the money first, and then you can be successful. Are you willing?"

When the scholar heard that this method was good, he agreed immediately. The next day, when he entered the examination room, he announced his name and asked the scholar to sit in the seat with the number "Lai San". The scholar's mind whirled and he tacitly said, "Yes, Lai San, Lai San, you are not beating me." Hello, do you want three hundred taels of silver? So, as soon as he left the examination room, he sealed three hundred taels of silver and sent it over respectfully.

Later, when the results were announced, the scholar was indeed selected for the examination. This matter spread from ten to ten, and it started to be discussed in the streets and alleys. From then on, "come three" has become a lingo when doing transactions: if the transaction is successful, say "come three"; if the transaction is unsuccessful, say "no come three". Later, it was often used as a metaphor in other situations, and this became the saying today

"If it rains, I will stay with you every day, but I will stay with you every day" can be understood in two ways:

1 A rainy day is a guest day. God will not leave me alone. (meaning of master).

2 A rainy day is a guest day. Will God save me? Keep. (Guest's understanding)

Remove the word "天", that is, "On rainy days, guests are welcome, but on days, I am not here."

There are many kinds of sentence fragments:

1 When it rains, the sky invites guests. Will the sky keep me?

2 When it rains, the sky will keep guests. Will the sky keep me? Keep.

3 If it rains, it will keep guests, but will the weather keep me? Keep.

4 If it rains, the guests will stay, but the weather will stay with me? Not stay.

5 When it rains, the sky keeps visitors. Tianliu? I won't stay.

. . . . .

The original poster said, "If you stay as a guest on a rainy day, will you stay with me every day? Stay!" There is no problem with grammar, but why is it "Can I stay with you every day?" Why do you use the word "every day"?

Nai and B

One day, Zhang Nai fell ill. He went to the hospital to see a doctor. After registering, he sat outside the clinic and waited. After a while, a doctor came out and called : "Open the B, open the B!" This was like a can of Coke, and there were other people with similar names to mine.

But gradually he decided that something was wrong, and it was always not his turn. When he got angry, he rushed to the consulting room and asked angrily: "Doctor, why haven't you come to me yet?"

The doctor looked at him and asked: "Which order are you on?"

Zhang: "That's the order!"

Doctor: "Then I called your name , why shouldn't you?"

Zhang: "You didn't scream!"

Doctor: "Didn't I shout "Open B" many times? >Zhang: "I am Kaikai Nai, not Kaikai B!"

Doctor: "Isn't it written Kaikai B? How come it is Kaikai Nai?"

Zhang: "Yes, Not B! "

......

The two of them started to quarrel. When they arrived at the dean's office, the dean asked the doctor to write a review. The more he thought about it, the more he thought about it. I was so angry that I wrote a letter of apology:

Reflection

Due to my low education,

I mistakenly read the word "nai" as B,

After education and study,

I know from now on,

is separate,

B is together,

Nai is Nai, B is B,

Never again regard Nai as B!