Tell the funniest joke in the world (short)

In the joke house, there are many ~/One day, eggplant was walking in the street and suddenly sneezed a lot. It wiped its nose and said angrily, "Shit! Someone took a group photo again! " There are 30 frogs in a pool, and only one frog wears underwear. Why? Because he takes a shower! ) There is a pig. He walked and walked until he came to England. What has he become? -Pigs. There is a pig. He walked and walked until he came to England. What has he become? -Pigs. The teacher recited the text at will in class. Piggy, puppy and kitten all raised their hands. Who will the teacher call? -puppy, because wangwang is humble. Butterflies, ants, spiders, centipedes, they work together, which one didn't get paid in the end? -Centipede, because it's useless. The elephant's nose is the longest in the zoo. Who is the second longest? Elephant. What kind of fruit has the worst eyesight? Mango. Which two kinds of fruits have mobile phones? -radish and green vegetables, each has his own love. A turtle walked through a pile of shit, but left only three footprints on it. Why? -One foot on your nose. If there is a car, the driver is a prince and the passenger is a princess, whose car is it? -If Jin Mu is in hot water, whose legs are long? -ham, intestines, eyes, snakes and elephants date, and after some greetings, they say, "Come, come, take such a big pig. Welcome. " An underworld boss caught a glimpse of a young man in an alley and asked him: What is one plus one? The young man was afraid, thought for a long time and said, it's equal to two. The underworld boss quickly took out his pistol and killed him. Leave a message when you leave: You know too much. I think as long as I have some modest qualities, I will be a perfect person. One day, Mung Bean broke up with his girlfriend. He was very sad, so he kept crying, crying, crying .............................................................................................................................................................. ~ ~ Police: "Say, what's your name ~?" Prisoner: "My name is Jackie Chan." Policeman: "Why don't you call Zhen Chen? Correct your attitude ~ tell me your name ~? " Prisoner: "My name is Zhen Chen." Two jellyfish collided at the seaside. Jellyfish A: "What the hell! You can't swim with your eyes! Jellyfish B: What are eyes? Jellyfish A: I don't know. Last time I met someone, he called me that. Jellyfish B: Oh! That's right! In primary school science class, the teacher told us that knocking on the knee would lead to knee jump. When I got home, I took a hammer and hit it on my dad's knee. And my dad stood up and kicked me. It turns out that the teacher is right! If one day I become a hooligan, please remember to tell me that I am innocent. The first lie in life begins with writing a composition in primary school, and the truth begins with writing a love letter. When brothers Grimm wrote Snow White, they were prescient and named the person who saved Snow White and lived happily with her "Prince Charming". And now the female compatriots all want to find the prince charming in their minds, so why pinch it? Because the pinyin abbreviation of Prince Charming is-BMW, or Z series. A man wanted to jump off a building, and his wife shouted, "honey, don't be impulsive, we still have a long way to go!" " "Hearing this, the man jumped up with a whoosh. The policeman said, "You really shouldn't threaten him like this!" Shit and urine are good brothers. One day, shit crossed the road and was killed by a car. When I pee, I said, I really want to shit ... Xiaoming: "Mom, my classmates say my head is so big." Mom: "Nonsense, they are all bad children. Ignore them. Go and buy chestnuts for my mother. " Xiao Ming: "What do you use?" Mom: "Use your hat." Think of a number in your head, multiply it by two, add five, then subtract the number you thought at first, multiply it by eight, subtract five, and then close your eyes and you can't see anything, right? A classmate secretly loves a PLMM that he meets every day after school, but he has no chance to get close to it. One day I followed MM to a ramen restaurant, and finally got up the courage to strike up a conversation with her: "What's your name, classmate ..............? "MM:" beef noodles. " A man fell down while walking in ................................................. He stood up and walked on, and fell down again. So he said; If I had known, I wouldn't have got up just now. The drizzle on the river gave me goose bumps. Which anime characters are the most involved? Answer: Mermaid (because she can't cheat) Xiaoming, who will have an exam tomorrow, is watching TV at night. Xiaoming's mother asked anxiously, Have you read all the books? There will be an exam tomorrow. Xiao Ming replied brightly: Mom, I finished reading it. Xiao Ming's mother praised Xiao Ming happily: Good boy, then you must do well in the exam tomorrow. Xiao Ming cried and said, Mom, I mean,' Mom, I think it's over'. Xiao said to Xiao B: dig the plug ... it's raining outside! ! Excited to see Xiao B: Yes, I saw you. Xiao Ming returned to the classroom after going to the toilet and said to the teacher, there are many ants in the toilet. The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant for ants, so he tested Xiaoming: What did ants say? Xiao Ming looked blank ... and then said: The ants didn't say anything ... One day, three little pigs built three huts to avoid being chased by wolves. Wolves easily destroyed straw houses, wooden houses and brick houses. Three little pigs ran as fast as they could, but the wolf caught up with them. The three little pigs said in despair, it's up to you. We gave up. Whatever. At this moment, the wolf smiled and drooled and said, Then tell me where Little Red Riding Hood is. The diver's movements are difficult. He turned three times, then somersaulted forward for three and a half times, and then somersaulted backward for a month. It is said that once Zhuge Liang, Liu Bei, Sun Quan and Cao Cao were flying together, and they suddenly encountered an emergency and needed to parachute to escape. Only then did I find that there were only three parachute bags left on the plane. Everyone is nervous. At this time, Zhuge Liang shook his feather fan and cleared his throat. He said, "well, if the mountain man can answer a few questions, he will skydive, and if he can't answer them, he will jump by himself." Others have no choice but to agree. Zhuge Liang shook the feather fan again and asked Liu Bei, "How many suns are there in the sky?" Liu Bei thought it was very simple and replied, "One." So I took an umbrella bag and went down. Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again, "How many moons are there in the sky?" Sun Quan replied: "One." I also took an umbrella bag and went down. Finally, it was Cao Cao's turn, and Zhuge Liang asked, "How many stars are there in the sky?" Cao Cao was puzzled and couldn't answer, so he had to jump himself. Unexpectedly, I jumped into the sea and saved my life. Cao Cao secretly rejoiced. The second time, when four people met an emergency by plane, they still discussed it in the old way. Zhuge Liang shook the feather fan again and asked Liu Bei, "Which battle did Zhou Wuwang defeat the crepe king?" Liu Bei thought simply and replied, "The Battle of Makino." Zhuge Liang nodded, and Liu Bei took an umbrella bag and went down. Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again, "How many people died in that battle?" Sun Quan thought for a moment and said, "About 30,000 to 40,000." Zhuge nodded, and Sun Quan went down with an umbrella bag. Cao Cao couldn't help laughing and thinking, "Zhuge Liang, Zhuge Liang, I know everything from ancient times to the present, especially the military." You were planted this time, hehe! " Zhuge Liang asked, "What are their names?" Cao Cao almost fainted and had to jump by himself. Unexpectedly, I jumped into the sea again and saved my life. Cao Cao smiled to himself: "md, I am deadly." Old Zhuge, what can you do with me? " ! "The third time, the same four people flew, and the plane encountered an emergency. Cao Cao thought about it, and Zhuge tried to fool me again, so I jumped myself to avoid being insulted. So I jumped into the air at high speed. I heard Zhuge Liang's laughter from above: "Cao Cao, Cao Cao, you are so smart, haha, there are four parachutes on the plane today!" " Cao Cao fainted with a "ah-".

Satisfied, please adopt.