Marriage customs in various provinces of China

Li nationality's marriage customs are rich and colorful, and there are various procedures, such as sending bride price, seeing off the bride, welcoming the bride, teasing the bride, drinking auspicious wine, singing duet, seeing off and taking seats. Among them, "Teasing Niang" is the most interesting.

There are five branches of the Li nationality, namely, Sai Ren, Qiren, Ren Xun, Mobil and Runren. ), and the forms and methods of "teasing" are different. For Sai Ren and Ren Xun, "teasing the mother" is mainly held at the wedding reception, and the bride and her mother are sent to the groom's house by the farewell team in Sai Ren. In this atmosphere, many brave brides and escorts dare not speak and stutter. Therefore, we have to spend our wedding night hungry. It was also held in the banquet hall. They prepared two bowls of "Fu wine" for the bride and groom in advance, and also prepared a bowl of wine for their mother. They all want to drink it all at once. They are particularly demanding of the bride and groom. When they drink, they are required not to vomit, and they are not allowed to drip water. If anyone violates the rules, he must be fined twice. Ask them to drink as soon as possible. Being drunk means that husband and wife share joys and sorrows and grow old together. For accompanying mothers, only when they are drunk can they show that their celebration is sincere.

In different places and different periods, the manifestations of Li's custom of teasing Niang are also different. For example, Qiqi people in Qiongzhong County, Hainan Island, their teasing was carried out in the bridal chamber. They first lit an oil lamp in the new house, and then put two small chairs in front of it. The mother teaser was watching at the door of the bridal chamber. They watched the bride and groom compete for seats in the bridal chamber. According to the custom of alarmism, the figure sitting in front can cover the back, the front is the master, and everything behind must obey the master's command. So the bride and groom are fighting for seats. Who's in charge? At this time, the ridicule and booing of the onlookers also entered a climax. If the bride and groom are congenial to each other, they will secretly back down when competing for seats. In case of forced marriage, the woman is often worried that she will be bullied by her husband after marriage, and the atmosphere and scene can be said to be almost heated. Qiqi people in harmonious areas are different, and their teasing is carried out on the second day after the wedding. The morning after the wedding, the escort team and the young girls in the escort team got together. They put the glutinous rice cooked by the groom's family in a wooden mortar, mashed it into a ball and took it back to the children who didn't attend the wedding. When the mortar was pounded, the cheerful "Mi Qu" was accompanied by the sound of wooden Chu Jiu, which made people feel relaxed and happy. The stronger they sing, the more they sing. At this time, the flirting boy has quietly come nearby and is planning how to attack suddenly, so that the girls are caught off guard. As long as the girls' dumplings are taken away, the girls have to go home empty-handed. At that time, relatives and friends would call them useless. In fact, the girls came prepared. As soon as the battle for glutinous rice dumplings started, the laughter between men and women reached a climax. On this occasion, the most losers are the careless boys, who only care about playing and bumping recklessly. They either beat girls with wooden pestles, or were pulled by girls, and some even smeared sticky rice all over their faces, especially those who burned their hair. Not only do they have to wash for days and nights, but they are also laughed at by relatives and friends. Although the atmosphere of such teasing activities is quite tense. However, here, people will see many funny, humorous and hilarious scenes. Young men and women strengthened their friendship through entertainment.

It's more interesting for Mobil to tease mom. On the wedding day, an elderly woman was specially arranged to choose a dowry for the bride. When picking up the dowry at the groom's door, suddenly several men rushed out of the groom's house and took it away in an instant. Then she took out a pot of cooked pork that had already been cooked, pointed it at the woman's head and fell down. At this time, if a witty person immediately pulls open the skirts of clothes, he can get a lot of pork, but when he meets a slow woman, he can only make pork soup drenched like a drowned rat, and his hands are empty. The more onlookers encounter this situation, the higher the cheering mood and the higher the reward for being drenched. Although it takes a lot of effort to wash the hair, body and skirt of such a funny activity, the women in Mobil branch are willing to play such a role in order to celebrate their wedding. They think that the more accurate the shower is, the more pork is poured, the higher the voice of the artist, the more people will see the new couple, and the more money the new couple will have in the future.

In addition to the above-mentioned distinctive teasing activities, most of the teasing activities are arranged at the moment of sending the mother. When Li sent the bride away, her family mobilized all the girls in the village. The more people there were, the more glorious the bride felt. Escorts usually start in the morning. They climbed mountains and waded into the groom's village, and it was already dark. At this time, "teasing mom" began. The boys attending the wedding gathered at the entrance of the village with torches. As soon as the farewell party arrived, they couldn't wait to raise the torch and take a picture of the bride and girls at the farewell party. However, the more impatient they are. The less girls and brides want them to see them, the more they cover their faces with bamboo hats. The more boys want to see it, the more they cover their faces. At this time, boys who can't think of more ways seduce with love songs, or try to get girls to answer with provocative language. However, the more so, the less attention girls pay. Finally, the boys had to slap their faces with torches and trip their feet with sticks, making the girls hide from each other, and the village road was full of noise and laughter. In this way, the young man and the girls left with a smile. Although the bride and girls' faces were blackened and purple by the torch, they were all in high spirits and enjoyed it.

Li's "teasing mom" not only adds a happy atmosphere to marriage, but also provides more opportunities for boys and girls to get in touch. So "Teasing Niang" has been circulating in all branches of the Li family until today.

Whether it's a marriage in which young people love each other, are childhood friends, and are free to fall in love, or a marriage in which the so-called "matchmaker is marrying", Tujia people have gradually formed an unwritten agreement on marriage customs, that is, please ask the matchmaker to act as matchmaker? Propose marriage and play festivals? Send a bride price? , beg Geng? When did the woman give birth? , engaged? Begging the woman to agree to get married? , wedding ceremony, back door and many other procedures. There are ingenious plots in the wedding, such as crying, giving gifts, opening a face, wearing sanhua, carrying the bride, welcoming the bride, paying homage to the bride, sitting on the bed, quarreling and returning to the door. Its typical link is crying, sitting on the bed and returning to the door. The differences between Tujia wedding and other ethnic weddings are preserved and displayed.

A month or half before marriage, the girl will get married crying. "Mourning marriage" is a unique national custom of Tujia nationality. "Weeping Wedding" started with a night of crying, and then it was a night of crying. Sisters, aunts and elders in the whole village should take turns to accompany them, and sing "Weeping Wedding Song" while crying, which seems to be like crying, and if it is like sadness, it is a mixture of sadness and joy, rich in content and strong in feelings. Weeping wedding songs include "Crying Parents", "Crying Songs", "Crying Sisters", "Crying Wearing Flowers", "Crying on a Sedan", "Crying Matchmaker" and "Crying Farewell to Ancestors". After oral creation and continuous enrichment and processing by generations of women, some contents are gradually stereotyped, forming a lyric elegy with a long poem structure. The artistic conception is miserable, the language is unpretentious, full of strong local flavor, and rhetoric devices such as metaphor, pun, personification, repetition, contrast and exaggeration are often skillfully used, which is very popular in literature and art.

On the wedding day, the man sends people to send clothes, jewelry and cloth to the bride, and wine, meat and even salt, tea, rice and beans to his parents-in-law. This is called "gift giving". The ceremony should be held in front of the shrine of the woman's house. It is necessary to present a ghost seal to the three generations of the woman's ancestors, light incense sticks, carefully place your gifts on the table in front of the shrine, and submit the gift list to the woman's elders.

The day before the wedding is the woman's "Flower Round Wine", which means "Flower Round". I wish her a happy marriage. On this day, the woman's family took out all the dowry, wiped it clean and tied it up. Relatives and friends have come to congratulate and give gifts, and at the same time dress up the bride, "open her face" and "wear flowers". "Face-opening" requires an aunt, aunt or sister-in-law to perform an operation. She wraps her hair around her forehead with grey thread, twists her eyebrows into a crescent shape, weaves her hair into a "Baba bun", wraps a red rope around it, inserts a silver pin, wears silver jewelry, wraps a green handkerchief on her head, and puts on a silver bracelet and a silver ring. The lyrics of "crying through flowers" in wedding songs are:

Golden flowers and silver flowers don't see vines,

I saw the golden flowers, but no one was there.

Put it on the flower head,

The bell on the head is very noisy.

Babel earrings, golden circles,

A toothpick is inserted in the cupboard as a door. ...

After the description of the above lyrics, a Tujia bride with gorgeous decoration and flowers is presented to people. After the bride "opened her face" and "went to the top", she cried and got married that night. Since ancient times, marriage between men and women has been regarded as the first "happy event" in life. The ethical concepts of "parents' orders, matchmakers' words" and "from one end to the other" run through the marriage system and customs in China's long-term feudal society, and are also reflected in the old-fashioned marriage customs in old Beijing; From engagement to final marriage, there are many complicated etiquette procedures.

Protect relatives

Protecting relatives means introducing marriage, commonly known as matchmaking. After the introduction of the matchmaker and the consent of both parents, the first thing to do is to post through the portal. Both parties write down their names, ages, places of origin and names of three generations (great-grandparents, grandparents, parents) in red paper. All of them were handed down by the matchmaker, that is, "asking the name" in "Yili". Later, the elders of both men and women chose auspicious days and appropriate occasions to visit each other to learn about each other's family property, family reputation, girl's appearance, uncle's life experience and so on. Both are suitable.

marry

After mutual visits, the two sides have no objection to the marriage, and then "eight-character stickers". Both men and women use a red paper passbook to record the year, month, day and hour of birth, and ask the astrologer to measure the "eight characters" of both men and women, which is called "marriage". Because everyone's birth has four parts: year, month, day and time, each part accounts for one word, and the four parts count as eight words, so it is called "eight characters". Xing Ming said that both men and women must be harmonious before they can get married, so as not to interfere with each other or hinder the family fortune after marriage.

Then, according to the date of birth and the zodiac of both men and women, Mr. Yin and Yang wrote an appraisal (such as "ugly and ugly"). ), and then according to the "auspicious day of the zodiac" and the orientation of the western gods, choose the wedding date and what zodiac sign to avoid, and write it on a red paper passbook called "Dragon and Phoenix Post". This is an old marriage certificate.

Send the dowry to the bride's house

Get married when you are ready. There have been minor adjustments and major adjustments in the past. After the girl is engaged, it is customary to change her hair style. In the past, girls wore braids, but generally they didn't. Once they are too young, they will wear red braids. Some families pay attention to the fact that the man should give the woman four kinds of jewelry: one or a pair of rings; A pair of bracelets; A pair of earrings; Gold, silver or silver-plated gold collar. Expansion means that marriage between men and women is a foregone conclusion. At this time, the man wants to give the bride price to the woman, and the woman also asks for it publicly. Sometimes bargaining between the two sides becomes a concentrated expression of buying and selling marriage.

According to the custom of old Beijing, a woman sends a dowry on the first day of her marriage, and a male guest (four to eight people) is invited to send the dowry accompanied by her family to the man's house, which is called "escort".

The amount of dowry is generally determined according to the financial situation of the woman's family. At that time, a nursery rhyme in old Beijing sang, "The bright moon shines on the east window, Miss Zhang has a good dowry, a gold leather cabinet, a silver suitcase, a tiger leather chair and an ivory bed. Wing powder, stick incense, two hundred pieces of cotton rouge ... "

Pick up the bride

Weddings are also called "weddings". There are many detailed details and ceremonies in the wedding ceremony, such as setting up the wedding shed, arranging the wedding room, arranging the wedding personnel, distributing sedan chairs, ceremonial ceremonies, singing musical instruments, sedan chairs, letting the couple get on and off the sedan chair, new ways to marry and go home, and making trivial gifts after marriage. The excitement of holding a wedding, all the ostentation and extravagance are concentrated in the wedding. Manchu people are very particular about marriage and have a set of established rules. On the wedding day, the girl came outside the man's house, and the groom bowed and took the arrow, and shot three arrows at the unmasked bride. Then, with the help of the bridesmaid, she set foot on the red carpet and went to the altar in the yard to pay homage to heaven and earth with the groom. Manchu sacrificial ceremony is commonly known as "worship Beidou".

After worshipping heaven and earth, the groom will take off the hijab on the bride's head with a scale (or whip), put it on the top of the tent in the yard, and pick the hijab with a scale to show his satisfaction. When the veil is lifted, the groom touches the bride's hair with his hand, which means getting married. The bride crossed a pre-set brazier, then crossed the saddle and walked into the south of the tent to "sit on the blessing" to show her respect. During the tent ceremony, the bridesmaid will open the bride's face, that is, twist the hair off her face with red thread, comb her hair and change her hairstyle at the same time.

On the wedding night, a pair of candles are lit in the bridal chamber, which will last all night. The bride and groom will toast and eat a half-baked jiaozi. The word "life" means "having children". Outside the bridal chamber, one or several people sing a happy song (called "pulling empty flag" in Manchu), which is called "ringing room".

Shanghai Wedding Custom-Bride Changing Shoes

From the bride's family to her husband's family, people from different provinces and places of origin in China have their own unique wedding customs when holding wedding ceremonies. Although some interesting traditional etiquette has been omitted due to the development of civilization or the simplification of weddings, these ancient and interesting wedding customs still have great reading value. If your partner has a different place of origin from you, you can also take this opportunity to see some particularly interesting wedding ceremonies in his hometown.

The ancient customs in Shanghai attach great importance to tradition, and the complicated six-ceremony ceremony, including accepting gifts, asking names, concubinage, accepting gifts, invitations, weddings, etc., also follows the tradition and is meticulous. Because young men and women in the old society did not have the opportunity to meet and fall in love freely, marriage proposal, engagement and even wedding date depended on the matchmaker to act as a middleman, contact men and women and assist in the wedding. So after the wedding, it is necessary to send the matchmaker a favor.

In the old rural areas, not all families have the ability to make dresses for brides, so many rural girls will wear red dresses or red suits instead of dresses when they get married.

Before the groom goes out, he must eat a bowl of sweet soup (sugar water) boiled by lotus seeds and lilies at his mother's house, which represents the wish of the woman's family that her daughter can live a sweet and carefree life after marriage. During the wedding ceremony, the elder or emcee of the woman's family who belongs to a well-off person (that is, a person whose parents and children are in harmony with her husband) holds up a red umbrella to accompany the bride to protect her from evil spirits.

When the bride goes out, the hostess should bring a pair of brand-new embroidered shoes. When the bride gets into the sedan chair, she needs to put on new shoes immediately, which means that when she leaves home to get married, she will not bring what belongs to her family to her husband's family, which means that she will entrust her future life to her husband.

If the woman's family doesn't hold a banquet for her relatives and friends, or the invitation is omitted, she should send wedding candy (that is, candy printed with the word "hi" or wrapped in red) to these relatives and friends afterwards to formally inform everyone that her daughter is married.