You told a joke that made me laugh, so I accepted it.

The old horse called the name of his first girlfriend several times in his sleep. His wife woke him up and asked warily, "Who are you calling?"

The old horse quickly concealed: "I dream of being a teacher and let students answer questions."

The wife asked, "Then why do you always let the same student answer questions in one class?"

The old horse paused and then replied, "Because I am a tutor."

Wife: "when you are in love with me, your eyes are shining, which makes me very excited." Now you don't look at others? "

Husband: "I don't want to be frugal and save electricity."

Wife: "Then why do your eyes shine when you see a beautiful young woman?"

Husband: "I turn on the warning light to remind them: I have a wife, please don't go near."

Passing a yard, I saw a sign hanging on the door, which read two words-"lover". Suddenly, I felt that the owner of this yard was very interesting, so I gently pushed the door and went in. As a result, before I took two steps, two big German shepherd suddenly rushed out from the side. ......

I came back from the hospital with rabies vaccine, then rubbed my eyes and looked at the sign carefully, only to find that the above two words turned out to be "cautious".

Alas, it is urgent to protect your eyes. It seems that I can't keep nagging about that stupid mobile phone!

When I went out to eat ten years ago, I basically paid cash. When I went out to eat five years ago, I basically swiped my card. Going out to eat and paying the bill now is a sweep of WeChat. What does this mean? This shows that the probability of going out to collect money in the future is almost zero!

It used to be called husband and wife, but now it's called mobile phone, one in each hand, forever! The machine is not in hand and there is no soul.

In fact, the ancients had a premonition and made an idiom: now is the time, and it will never come again!

Speaking of which, I can't play with my mobile phone anymore, and my eyesight has dropped badly. In the morning, I saw the big banner "Chris Lee wears a B-pull" from a distance! Take a closer look, it turns out to be "Li Ning's spring clothes are 20% off"!

Going to a restaurant for dinner, I picked up a piece of braised pork and found a lot of hair. I carefully pulled it out one by one and put it in my mouth, damn it! It's ginger!

The most shameful thing is that I saw a neighbor holding a Tibetan mastiff at the door yesterday and greeted him politely: "Brother, did you buy a Tibetan mastiff?" My buddy turned blue and disagreed. When I took a closer look, it turned out that my sister-in-law was squatting in a mink coat to tie her shoelaces.