Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Ask for a diary, hurry.

Ask for a diary, hurry.

Today, when I was adding water to my beloved crab, I poured a pot of water into the crab basin at will, but I saw it suddenly became turbid because I put a lot of mud at the bottom of the crab basin. When I put the basin away and came to the crab basin, I was surprised to find a strange thing.

I see that there is obvious water flow in the mud, which is clearer in the mud. I thought: Where did this water come from? Is it a crab? But crabs should inhale and exhale, not just inhale and exhale. In order to find out this matter, I took a clip to test it. That's really a crab. I became more and more contradictory and decided to take action, so I caught the crab's "big pliers" with two clothespins and began to study it.

I carefully observed the crab's mouth and saw that the crab had been spitting bubbles, so I looked along the bubbles and found that there were small holes the size of mung beans on both sides of the crab's mouth, from which bubbles came out! Is it true that crabs only exhale and don't inhale? I am even more surprised: the basic law of living things is breathing, not inhaling. How can it get oxygen? I carefully observed the crab's mouth again and suddenly found two slightly lower holes. I think this should be the air inlet of the crab. To prove it, I took a small towel and put it on two small holes in the crab. I really sucked it. I finally figured it out! That's the crab's air intake!

From this, I come to a conclusion that there are many things in nature that can't be thought with conventional thinking, and crabs are the best example. Traffic controller

At a crossroads where I go home every day, I can see traffic assistants. His appearance is not strange, and he is thin. Every time I see him, I always worry about such a job, such a thankless job. Will he be in danger? Why did he come to do such a job? But every time I see him, he always has that sunny smile on his face. No matter who obeys the traffic rules or some people who intend to run a red light, he always uses that kind of smile, gentle words and patient persuasion. Maybe that's why. I have never seen anyone curse or glare at each other. He is an ordinary person, but he is a person worth learning. Learn his spirit of smiling at life and difficulties. From now on, no matter what I meet, I will smile! When the time comes, the difficulties will be solved naturally ~ I want to live my happy life ~ My smile will bloom on my face every day!

Wash the dishes

I was idle and found that there were still some dishes in the kitchen. I had a brainwave and thought that if I washed these dishes, wouldn't my mother have to wash them?

I'll do it. Bring the basket and put it by the pool. Put the vegetables in the pool. I rolled up my sleeves, turned on the tap and began to wash the dishes as seriously as my mother.

I first rub the vegetables by hand, and then wash the leaves one by one, without even letting go of any dirty things. Washing and washing, I touched something soft and furry. My hand shrank back like an electric shock. Ah! I don't know if I don't know, but I was shocked when I saw it. It turned out to be a big caterpillar lying on a vegetable leaf enjoying the pleasure of "bathing". Scared me to throw that leaf far away. Looking at the discarded vegetable leaves, I thought to myself: My mother has been washing vegetables for so many years, and I don't know how many big green worms she has encountered, but my mother always picks up the big green worms and throws them away, and continues to wash vegetables. I feel like a coward. I plucked up my courage, plucked up my courage, picked up the discarded vegetable leaves, threw away the big caterpillar and trampled it to death. At this point, although I got goose bumps all over, I was as happy as winning the battle. I hummed a ditty and continued to wash vegetables.

Looking at the vegetables lying in the basket, I jumped and jumped with joy, and finally I could help my parents do something that I could.

Picking date

Today, when I came home from school, my sister and I went to pick dates. I took off my shoes, climbed the tree carefully, and sat on the safer branch, followed by my sister. However, there are few jujubes in easy-to-pick places, but there are many big, red jujubes near the top of the tree. This attracted my greed again and made me climb up desperately. When I picked it, my sister was responsible for handing me the bag of dates and taking it home. In this way, it's time for me to enjoy the jujube bag at home, but just when I want to go down, my feet are weak-too high, I can't stand it at all, let alone go on. I cried with fear, so my sister had to call my father. Although I was quite scared at that time, there will still be adventure and excitement in the future. The death of picking dates didn't scare me, but made me feel more interesting.

Summer sunshine

In the morning, the sun rises in the east of Ran Ran, and the earth is covered with a layer of red. Gorgeous clouds carry light and give off colorful light. The morning light shines on the lake, and the breeze rises at the beginning, and the fine waves jump, stirring the lake to pieces of gold.

At noon, the sun is no longer gentle in the morning, it shines brightly on the earth. Weeds sleep helplessly in the heat, flowers hang their heads feebly. The wind is like a fan in a stove. It is hot, blowing on the body and burning people hard.

In the evening, the sun gathered dazzling light and turned into a golden disc. Red light is sprinkled on the lake, and several pink clouds are flowing and giving off magnificent light. When it shines on the lake, it shines; It shines on the green trees, and the green trees look greener.

The sunset gave off the last ray of sunshine and left with a smile. However, tomorrow morning, a red sun will rise from the horizon of Ran Ran!

make dumplings

Today, my family packs jiaozi. I jump and jump happily myself.

I started to pack jiaozi. Looking at my parents, I am a little unconvinced. I went over to my mother and said, "Mom, can I pack it myself?" Mom said, "Can you do it?"

I said to myself, "Why not?" In this way, my parents and I wrapped up jiaozi.

I picked up the dumpling skin myself, put the stuffing in, and pinched it with my hands. Ah, the skin is broken. My mother said, "Are you all right?"

I am embarrassed to say, "I am a war hero-a wounded soldier."

After listening to this sentence, everyone began to laugh, and I laughed myself.

Alas, it's not easy to package jiaozi. It seems that trivial housework is also learned and should not be underestimated.

Take my sister for the first time.

My own sister is only three years old and very naughty. She always acts like a big lady, and sometimes even her parents can't help it.

Today, I went to grandma's house alone. As soon as I got home, I saw my sister playing on the sofa in the living room. I didn't pay much attention to it myself. But wait till I get closer, okay? Why is my sister playing with my own notebook? I flew into a rage myself and was going to get it back. But I thought about it myself. My sister is too young to understand. My own sister should treat her well. So, I ignored her myself.

At this time, grandma came over and said that she would go to the market to buy food, and asked me to take my sister to play at home. I patted my chest and said, "Don't worry, grandma!" " "After grandma left, I asked my sister what she wanted to play. My sister said she wanted to play with dolls. My sister and I went to hug some dolls. I dress the doll first. Seeing that my sister was still dawdling, I went to help her myself. But my sister wouldn't let me, so I grabbed the doll myself for fear of wasting precious time. However, my sister began to cry, so I had no choice but to return the doll to her. But, who knows, she hit herself after the doll.

Today, I took my sister home, and I thought about it myself, only to know that I treated my parents like this. So I decided on my own that I should not treat my parents like my sister in the future.

I am a computer geek myself.

I am a computer geek myself. I play games online almost every Saturday. Of course, I often look up information on the Internet myself, so I can study and play games.

I made a lot of jokes because I fell in love with the internet. For example, one day, I was surfing the Internet at home, and it was time to eat before I knew it. My mother let me eat by myself, and I just said "Oh". After a while, my mother told me to eat by myself, and I said "Oh" myself. Finally, everyone finished eating, and I felt hungry, so I casually asked: "Everyone finished eating!" " Only then did I know what my mother had just told me to do.

Surfing the internet is also good. For example, one day the teacher asked us to look for information about the changes in my hometown. I searched all the books by myself, but I couldn't find the information. I'm in a hurry and don't know what to do. At this time, I used my quick wits and came up with a good idea-looking up information on the Internet. I turned on the computer PC myself, looked it up on the Internet, and found it soon. It's really "I can't find a place to get it, and I can get it without much effort."

Now, I have a QQ pet on the Internet. I don't need to say more. I have to feed it myself. Goodbye!

pick fruit

Yesterday afternoon, my own grandmother took advantage of our inattention and drove her motorcycle back to her hometown in Huilongdu to clean up the house. I haven't come back for dinner at noon today. It's already very cold, and it's raining in Mao Mao outside. We were worried about grandma being frozen, so we decided to pick her up by car.

As soon as I entered the village, I saw green guavas. Second aunt asked; "Do you have guava now?" "Yes!" Mom said. I asked myself, "Second Aunt, do you want to eat?" My second aunt said, "Yes, and we have to pick them ourselves, ok?" We all said, "Good!" When I arrived at my grandmother's house, I asked if there was anything I could do. Grandma said, "No, I made it all by myself." "Then let's hurry to buy guava." We said with one voice. Grandma said, "Then I'll tell my aunt who grows guava herself." As soon as Grandma and Auntie had finished speaking, we rushed over and said to Auntie, "We want to go down to the ground and pick them ourselves." Aunt said, "well, I'll take a bucket myself." Then, we went to the guava garden with my aunt. Aunt opened the door and said, "There is a lot of moss in it. Be careful."

As soon as you enter the guava garden, you can see that guava trees are covered with many big and round fruits, as if to say to us, "Would you like to have a taste?" It's delicious! Sweet and sour. "Looking at this guava, my mouth is watering and I can't wait to take a bite first. We will choose separately, then choose here, and then choose there. After a while, I picked a lot. Just then, because the ground slipped, I accidentally fell down, which really hurt. Later, we went to menstruation's house to weigh the fruit and asked my mother to pay for it.