Strange joke

1. There is a little wolf. Oh, he was born a vegetarian instead of meat. His parents are very worried. As a result, my parents were very pleased to see the little wolf chasing the rabbit one day. Then the little wolf grabbed the rabbit and said, give me the carrot! ……

Divers have a high degree of difficulty. He rolled over for a week, then somersaulted for a week and a half, and then somersaulted for a month.

There is a man climbing a rock. When he was about to climb to the top of the mountain, a wolf tried to burn the rope with a burning candle. The man said a word and the wolf blew out the candle. The man said, Happy England!

4. Once upon a time, there was a village by the sea. The villagers made a living by fishing. . .

So many years have passed ~ ~ ~

Suddenly one day, a strange fish came to the sea. The villagers who specialize in fishing at sea have already eaten several people. . . This strange fish has six eyes and can fly, so the villagers call it "six-eyed flying fish"

Seeing the six-eyed flying fish killing people unscrupulously, and no one can cure them, the villagers are very worried. What should we do at this rate ~ ~ ~

At this moment, a young man came to the village. His name is very special. Love says he can kill the six-eyed flying fish. . .

The villagers are very disdainful. . But the next day, love really came back with the body of the strange fish. . .

The villagers were shocked and asked Ai, "How did you do it?"

Love said, "Love really needs courage to face the flying fish with six eyes."

5. Once upon a time, there was a hide-and-seek club whose president had not been found …

6. A rabbit went fishing in the pond, but he didn't catch it for a long time. .....

The next day, the little rabbit went fishing in the pond again, but he still didn't catch a fish all day. ......

On the third day, the little rabbit insisted on fishing in the pond, but still found nothing. .......

The fourth day, the rabbit went fishing in the pond. A fish jumped out of the water and growled at the rabbit, "If you use carrots as bait again, I will kill you!" " "

Seven ... After half a day's homework, I turned on the radio conveniently, and a gentle voice came out: "... if the skin color pays off and the fluff on my face is tender and soft, it means that it is very healthy ..."

When I heard this, I couldn't help touching my face, looking in the mirror and smiling again. It looked healthy and lovely.

At this moment, I heard the announcer say, "All right, listeners, this time our lecture on pig raising is here ..."

8. In a primary school, two students are quarreling. A said, "You ... you call again, and I can call someone!" "

B said, "You ... you fight! I don't believe this ... "

Then A really went to make a phone call, and when he came back, he put a malicious sentence: "You will know how to die in 30 minutes!" "

B was too nervous at this time, but there was nothing he could do. After 30 minutes, the school broadcast: "A classmate of B, you have a visitor, please go to the academic affairs office." Although I'm scared, I think I'm in the academic affairs office and I should be fine. So he went to the academic affairs office, and a blond boy came up and said, "Are you B?"

B: "I'm ..."

"Sorry for waiting, this is 10 Hawaiian pizza with chicken, 5300 yuan."

9. A German, a Frenchman and a Japanese are going to work in the mine.

The boss is American. He said to the Germans: You have a good physique and you are in charge of coolies.

Say to the French: You said you were an engineer and you were in charge of the mining plan.

He said to the Japanese: You are very thin. You are in charge of supply.

Then every other week, they start to work.

A few days later, the Germans and the French found that the Japanese had disappeared. After searching for a long time, they decided to go back to work first.

When the Germans started, the Japanese suddenly jumped out and shouted, "Surprise!" "(surprise)

10. Rene Liu's courtship to Jay Chou was rejected, and Rene Liu asked Jay Chou why. Jay Chou said, milk tea, I like music and beautiful women.

1 1.- Hello, please call a car. I am at the intersection of XX, wearing a short black skirt. ...

-Okay, where to?

-Uh ... to the knee. ...

12. A butterfly has a broken wing, but it is still flying. Why?

Because it is strong-willed

13. A person was transfused in the hospital, and when he lost, he began to laugh wildly.

Others asked him what he was laughing at.

He said, "I smiled a little." . . "

14. A little girl called the radio station and ordered a song for her mother.

Moderator: Why do you want to order songs for mom and dad?

Little girl: Mom works hard every day and can't have a good rest on Sundays. She needs to find me various exercise books.

The host was very moved and said that she was very sensible and a good boy of her mother.

So I asked what song I wanted.

Little girl: Why do women have to embarrass women?

15. Party A, Party B and Party C went out together, and Party A caught a cold. ...

Everyone sleeps in a bed at night, and A sleeps in the middle.

In the middle of the night … A took a big sniffle, and B and C were covered with A crystals.

Let us know next time ...

Half an hour later.

A: Attention. ...

B, C, Wen Wen quickly got into the quilt and made sure there was no contact with the outside world …

Then a fart.

16. A prince was cursed and could only say one sentence a year, but he liked a princess very much, so you were silent for five years. When you have saved enough, you come to the princess and say, "Please marry me!"

The princess said in surprise, "What?"

17. After retiring, a programmer decided to study calligraphy, bought excellent lake pens, rice paper and ink, dipped them in thick ink, and wrote on the paper in one go: Hello, world.

18. Once upon a time, there were two trash cans. They ran and ran for a long time. Then a trash can stopped and said, we are trash cans. Why are we running?

19. Xiaoming did something wrong. His mother told him to kneel in front of the Guanyin statue and confess, saying, If Guanyin forgives you, you can eat.

Five minutes later, Xiao Ming was sitting at the dinner table. His mother asked strangely, didn't I say that Guanyin forgave you before you could eat?

Xiao Ming said: Yes, I knelt there and said that Sister Guanyin was wrong. I want to eat. Then Sister Guanyin told me with her right hand, OK.

20. A woman bought breakfast with fake money. . .

The vendor was annoyed: "Elder sister, even if you give a fake, it is at least a seal. This one of you is actually a painting!" "

Take ten thousand steps back and forget about the painting. You can draw a set of ten or five, or you can draw a set of seven!

Let's make it seven dollars for seven dollars. At least draw a color. Actually, we use pencils!

Forget it, black and white is good, but you can't draw with toilet paper! The feel is too bad

Even toilet paper, cut the edge with scissors. This paper was torn by hand, and the raw edges are too exaggerated.

Ok, I'll put up with the burr, but you can also tear a rectangle. This triangle is too hard to say. 1, do you have anything? -

In chemistry class, the teacher explained the relationship between solvent and solute: "A certain solvent can only dissolve a certain solute. For example, if you eat a bowl of rice, eat another bowl, and the third bowl is full, can you still eat? "

A student asked, "Is there anything to eat?"

2. Check the calculation-

During the exam, a student took out the dice and shook out ten multiple-choice questions. At last he suddenly took it out and shook it. The invigilator finally couldn't bear it: "What are you doing?"

The student replied, "I'm checking."

3. Where to go-

One day, a lady called a taxi. Miss: "Hello! I am at a certain intersection and I want to take a taxi. "

Driver: "What are you wearing?" Miss: "I wear a white coat and a blue skirt."

Driver: "Where to?"

Miss: "to the knee." Driver: ". . . . . . "

4. People in Egypt and India, oh, don't use toilet paper. Do you know what they look like when they respond to the call of nature? They wash with their left hands and then rinse with water. How dirty it is, but every time I pass a building, I see a long queue to buy Indian cakes there, so I hide my face and walk over with a smile. You know, it's hard to throw a cake with one hand.

5. Know people by their legs-

In an animal experiment in a university, the examiner announced the test questions: there are ten birds in front of the classroom, each with a cloth bag, and only the legs are exposed. Please observe the legs of each bird carefully, and then say their common names, habits, genera, etc.

A college student observed the legs of every bird, but these birds seemed no different to him. The more he looks at them, the angrier he gets. He got up and said to the professor, "This kind of exam is so boring. Who can tell a bird by its legs? "

The professor was shocked by his words and deeds and quickly asked, "which class are you in?" What's your name? "

Angry college students went to the podium, lifted their trouser legs up and shouted at the professor, "Guess, guess!" "

6. Beggars and misers-

A beggar came to the door of a miser's house to beg.

Beggar: "Please give me a small piece of meat, cheese or cream." Miser: "No!"

Beggar: "Bread crumbs will do."

Miser: "No!"

Beggar: "Then give me some water to drink!" " "Miser:" We don't even have water. "

The beggar was angry: "Then why are you still sitting at home?" ? Come and beg with me! "

7. Captives and horses-

A cavalry was unfortunately captured in the battle.

"We will kill all the prisoners." The enemy leader said to him, "But because of your heroic performance in the battle, I can kill you in three days and meet your three requirements before that." Now, you can ask the first question. "

Without thinking, the cavalry said, "I want to say something to my horse." The leader agreed. So the cavalry went over and whispered a word to his horse. Hearing this, the horse gave a long whistle and galloped away. At dusk, the horse came back with a beautiful girl on its back. In the evening, the cavalry spent the spring night with the girl. The leader exclaimed, "What a wonderful BMW!" He said, "But I will kill you. What is your second requirement? "

The cavalry asked to talk to the horse again. The leader agreed, so the cavalry whispered a few words to the horse again, and the horse roared again and galloped away. At dusk, the horse came back. This time, the girl on her back is sexier than last time. That night, the cavalry and the girl had another happy night.

The leader was greatly impressed: "You and your horse are really an eye-opener, but I will kill you tomorrow. Now you make one last request. " The cavalry thought for a moment and said, "I want to talk to my horse alone." The leader felt very strange, but nodded in agreement and left with his entourage, leaving only the cavalry and his BMW in the tent. The cavalry stared at his horse, suddenly grabbed its ear and said angrily, "I repeat, take a brigade, not a woman!" " "

8. Answer first-

A man went to the toilet at the rest stop of the expressway. The first room was occupied, so he entered the second room. As soon as I went to the toilet, I heard someone next door say, "Hey, what's up? Is everything all right? "

Men think it is strange to talk to people when going to the toilet, but in order not to be rude, they still try to answer: not bad! "

Then the man next door said, "What are you doing?"

The man was surprised and even more strange, but he still replied, "I'm going to Taichung on business."

Just then, he heard the man next door say, "I'll call you later." There's a psycho next to me. Every time I talk to you, he tries to answer. "

9. Between stations-

A passenger said to the flight attendant, "I'm going to Dunkas."

The flight attendant said, "This train can't stop in Kass on Tuesday, but, man, when we change tracks in Dunkas, the speed will slow down." I'll open the door, you just jump. " Although the car is not driving fast, you should follow after jumping, or you will be caught by the wheels. "

When the train arrived in Dunkas, the door opened. The man jumped off the train and galloped forward. Because he was nervous, he ran all the way to the door of the first two cars. Just then, the door opened and a flight attendant dragged him into the car again. The train resumed its normal speed.

The stewardess said, "Dude, you are so lucky. Our train doesn't stop at Dunkas on Tuesday! " "

10, kua-

A farmer boasted that his manor was very big. He said, "If I drive around my manor, it will take a week."

A listener said sympathetically, "Yes, I once had a broken car like this."

1 1, our multiplication formula is very powerful ... Several scientists met together and someone asked how much 1 1 multiplied by 1 1 equals. American scientists couldn't wait to move their feet out, and China scientists immediately replied 12 1. Then I took out my calculator and pressed it for a long time. It really is 12 1. I can't help but be surprised: damn, you are really accurate.

12. No matter what car you take, you should lean against the window. One day, he will fly. When he got his boarding pass, he told the lady that he wanted a window seat, but the lady told him that he didn't have one.

After boarding the plane, he casually found a window seat and sat down. Suddenly, a man came up and said to him, this is my seat. He said I liked this seat, but I just wouldn't let him. The man begged to no avail, so he said angrily, well, you can fly the plane! "Turn around and go!