Selected cold jokes?

Lead: "an indisputable fact: people with high face value will feel that the world is full of goodwill more than ordinary people." Well, I don't see the point anyway. Next, I carefully prepared The Complete Works of Cold Jokes for you. Welcome to watch!

Cold jokes and jokes selection * * * Hot articles * * *

1. Hang in there, everyone. There are 100 beds. It's almost spring.

On National Day, my mother took Xiaoming to find his father who works in other places. In the car ... Xiaoming asked: Mom, where are we going to live? Mom: We live in a rented house! Xiao Ming thought for a moment, and then asked: Where does the pig live?

3. A sister has been abused by Anonymous for many years for no reason, just because the woman is infatuated with a man and regards him as a male god. My sisters don't know that man at all, and they are extremely wronged. That girl didn't know what made her abuse my sisters yesterday. The sisters were so angry that they rushed to the man's house, took off their pants and slept with him. After a sleep, the Japanese flavor was too strong and I had to leave. The man grabbed her and said, let's go get something. This is 20 14, the first time I heard of inspirational.

4. When the girl who secretly loves her confessed to her, she simply pushed her to the wall and said domineering: I will support you in the future, and then I kissed her without giving her a chance to refuse and think. That's what I did. I've given several girls a concussion.

I just saw a romantic proposal: when I am with my girlfriend, let her poke her finger. By the time she pulls out her finger, the engagement ring you put in the chrysanthemum in advance is already on her finger. * * * How did you get back to the nest * * *

6. My girlfriend loves rabbits so much that she bought one to keep every day. One day I looked at the rabbit and said, "Is this rabbit ready soon?" Let's eat spicy rabbit meat ... "My girlfriend said loudly," Don't you dare! Wait until you gain weight ... "

7. The teacher called Xiaoming to the office and said, "According to your recent performance, I have to meet your parents tomorrow!" Xiao Ming looked dumbfounded: "Has our relationship developed to this point?"

8. Just today, my aunt and uncle made a surprise visit. I snuggled up under the covers and said to my mother, Mom, close the door. I'm going to get dressed The mother who walked to the door came back and asked, what are you doing up? Me: Get up and eat! Mom: Don't get up and go back to sleep! There is not enough food!

9. One day I went shopping and bought a hood. The boss of the big shopping mall is asking too much. I turned around and left. Thinking about waiting for the boss to come after me and make a counter-offer. Who knows, it's been a long time The boss came out and shouted. Girl. This is the only thing left in 30 years. Take it if you want ~ ~ ~ Don't look back. I don't look back. . . . He didn't call me. . No.

10. awesome right away

A selection of cold jokes and jokes * * * Classic articles * * *

1. The students came to Beijing by train. On the way, they met someone checking their ID cards. When they found an old man from Hunan in eat areca, P: What are you doing in Beijing? Old man: Look at the fellow villagers. Where do you work in your hometown? Old man: fellow villagers hanged themselves in Tiananmen Square. Everyone around me laughed. . .

2. I remember quarreling with my classmates in junior high school, which was very fierce. Later, the director found out and was called to the playground. The class teacher pointed to a group of ants moving food on the ground and said, "Did you see it?" I seem to understand something, our unity is strength! Just when my classmates and I got the message and wanted to shake hands, I saw the director stepping on an ant and said, "Look, it's as simple as stepping on an ant." * * * Stupid wall * * *

Others have men's tickets, women's tickets and bank notes, but you only have monthly tickets.

4. "What is a king?" "If the opponent is not good, he will run over him." "What is overbearing?" "Hey, it was also run over." "... what is the way of Confucius and Mencius? ""say hello to him before grinding.

5. Differences between Sichuanese and Koreans in snowball fights. Koreans have a beautiful snowball fight, and all they hear are girls' screams: "Ani Atiyo ~ Ouba ~ Ani Yo ~ If you don't coax me ~". Look at Sichuan again: "I dare to run!" Get out of here, you wait for me and criticize me, believe it or not, you * * * ... "

6. In love, one day I asked my colleague: How much are you going to pay for the wedding? He didn't hesitate, 500! I was overjoyed and said I was short of money recently. I'll take 200 first, and then you can give me 300 when I get married. He, uh, stopped talking. ...

7. I went shopping with a second-rate daughter-in-law today. My daughter-in-law is angry because she doesn't cooperate well. There was a sea of people. I heard the second-rate daughter-in-law suddenly sing loudly "It's going to rain, my mother is going to get married, and I'm going to hit the dog", which successfully attracted everyone's attention, and then slapped my brother and ran away!

8. When I was a freshman, I saw Wang Xiaobo say that people should be interesting when they are alive, and I was deeply impressed. I tried to be an interesting person, but then I went astray and became a tease.

9. The school issued a family contact form. The son looked at the contents of the form and asked the father of the nouveau riche, "Dad, how to fill in the' nationality' item?" Dad thought about it and said, "Fill in the nobility."

10. Good-looking girls can tolerate any price, but it is hard to say if they are not good-looking. For example, when I poured a glass of whisky just now, my girlfriend asked me, "Husband! Did you put ice on it? " Disgusting, I poured wine directly into her face: "I have Fan Bingbing and still want you? ! ! "Chicken Wild and Dragon * * *

Cold jokes and jokes * * * Selected articles * * *

1. Why is bosom friend magazine so popular? The healing function of bosom friend is very direct and simple. For example, it is not enough for female graduate students to be * * *, but also to be * * *, to be * * *, and then to get pregnant, and then to be abandoned by their parents and boyfriends after pregnancy ... Readers will feel that their lives are OK when they see that others' lives are so depressed and celebrities' lives are riddled with holes, just like me.

2. It is said that all technical houses coax their wives 1 and pay them a large sum of money; 2. Change the host file and point Taobao to the phishing website you made; 3. Cheat Alipay password to transfer money away; 4. Comfort her like a man and say, "Nothing, it doesn't matter if you lose your money, as long as you don't lose it. Baby, don't be sad. I'll give you some money later. "

I finally understand what it means to be younger and younger. Your classmates called you Lao Liang in high school, your brothers called you Brother Liang in college, and your colleagues called you at work. . .

Yesterday, I met a man who fainted in the street because of heatstroke. I quickly stepped forward to pinch someone and found that I couldn't wake up, so I took his cell phone and wallet.

5. My wife is watching Korean dramas in the living room. As soon as I sat next to her, I began to coquetry: "Honey, people want it!" " When my wife turns around, it is a slap in the face. What? Did my phone call affect her watching Korean dramas? * * * Ashima milk tea * * *

6. A man asked anonymous, "Do you like to see fat and ugly things?" The woman replied, "How is that possible? No one will like it. " The man replied, "Then what do you do with a mirror every day?"

7. My mother especially likes beautiful girls. She often said: If my future daughter-in-law is not beautiful, I don't even want my son. Yesterday, I just sent my girlfriend's photo to my mother, and my mother sent me a message: My mother is so young.

8. Someone asked, "In college, a woman can give herself to a man for one night at a hotel for 50 yuan. After graduation, she wants to have another man and marry a second-hand or even third-hand woman. The house is 2 1000 square meters. Is she worth it? " God replied, "Of course, salary is directly related to work experience."

9. This afternoon, our unit held a debate about which is more important, the process or the result. A sister paper of the company came directly with a sentence about the importance of the process. If you and I fight in bed, which is important, the process or the result? Detonate the audience immediately. ...

10. Xiao Wang played a joke on me, which made me very unhappy. I rushed up and slapped him. Xiao Wang stared at me tearfully and said why I hit him. I said it's a big deal that we know each other so well and slap you. Xiao Wang said with tears how well we know each other, and you still hit me? I slapped me again, and you made fun of me when you knew I didn't know you well.