On the Mid-Autumn Festival, my mother-in-law and husband reunited to celebrate the festival. I, who is married far away, sat alone in the movie theater until late at night. How should I deal with this

On the Mid-Autumn Festival, my mother-in-law and husband reunited to celebrate the festival. I, who is married far away, sat alone in the movie theater until late at night. How should I deal with this?

The Mid-Autumn Festival is a day for family reunion. People who work outside the home will rush home to reunite with their loved ones whenever they have time and opportunity. But every holiday is not an easy time for women who marry in a foreign land.

Because the Mid-Autumn Festival holiday is short, it is difficult for a girl who is married far away to go back to her natal family to celebrate the festival. She can only take care of her own small family while thinking about her natal family that she cannot go back to, and her parents and relatives, who are preparing for the holiday. What are you doing and are you missing yourself? I feel so mixed and sour in my heart.

If the husband is considerate and the in-laws are sensible, the life of a girl married far away will be relatively easy. She will only have to deal with the sadness caused by homesickness alone and the guilt of not being able to fulfill her filial piety under her parents' knees; if she is unlucky, When encountering a blind-minded husband and an unreasonable mother-in-law, a married woman faces internal and external troubles. While she has to fight for herself alone and resist the oppression of her husband's family, she also has to hold back her sorrow and give her parents a smile. Report good news but not bad news.

Although I cannot empathize with them, I feel sorry for them when I think about the inner suffering.

When a woman marries far away, she must be so sure of that man’s love that she decides to leave her parents and her familiar hometown. After arriving in a foreign land, she was so disappointed when she discovered that the men around her cared less and less about her and were less and less able to have sex. But what if I'm disappointed? How determined she was when she left home, now how hesitant she is to leave that man.

Many times, after thinking for a long time, I can only sigh "Forget it", endure all the pain, and be strong alone in a foreign land.

Today I am writing about the sadness of a married woman from afar during the festive season, entirely because I received a voice call from my friend Ying early in the morning.

She told me that last night, the night of the Mid-Autumn Festival, her mother-in-law and husband had food and drinks at her house to celebrate the festival, while she watched "Zhu Xian 1" and "Little Little One" in the cinema alone Wish" two movies. During the three and a half hours of watching the movie, her phone remained silent, and no one cared where she was or what she was doing.

It was almost midnight after watching the movie, and I looked up at the full moon in the sky. I couldn't help but feel sad. I sat on the steps in front of the theater and cried silently. Looking at the retreating figures one by one, she didn't know where to go. In the end, I had to call a taxi and returned home more than four hours before 12 o'clock.

My husband was sitting on the sofa and saw her entering the door and went to the bedroom to turn off the light and go to sleep. The two were speechless all night.

I felt a little sorry for her: "What's wrong with you?"

"We had a quarrel."

"It hurts, right?"

"Well, this time it hit my heart. If I don't say it, it doesn't mean that I don't have any ideas. Why can he so calmly ask me to honor his mother? I also have my parents. As a son-in-law, what has he shouldered? "Responsibility?"

I know her. She has a bit of a timid personality. She often puts herself in trouble in order to maintain a decent appearance. This time she dares to go out alone to fight. She must be in trouble. Something very sad.

Let Ying tell the story below.

I am Ying. Let me briefly introduce my situation.

My husband and I were classmates in college. After graduation, we followed him here despite the opposition of our parents.

What kind of person is my husband? Student-like, unworldly, somewhat erudite, but with low emotional intelligence and lack of understanding of the ways of the world. Of course, this is how I know him now. It was not like this before. I liked him blindly.

What about me? She was pampered since childhood, a little willful and a little timid. If I wasn't willful, how could I be angry alone in a foreign land on the Mid-Autumn Festival night. If I wasn't timid, how could I be so timid in a foreign land, just like Lin Daiyu when she entered Jia's house, she didn't dare to take a wrong step on her errands, for fear of being laughed at by others, and fear that her husband's family wouldn't like her, so I often tolerated what I could.

My mother-in-law also saw this clearly about me, and invaded my territory step by step, treating my home as her own. She came whenever she wanted, whenever she wanted, and never said hello. Sometimes we were special When it was inconvenient, I complained, and she stared and said, "I'm coming to my son's house." Is this not my home? This is a house that my husband and I bought after working hard for many years. But people pretend not to know.

When I arrived at my house, I was in a deserted place. I could search for whatever I wanted and take whatever I wanted. My husband was still saying: "Take whatever you want."

Actually, before this, she didn't come often. At that time, my husband had been trained by me to do some housework. As long as I coaxed him nicely, he could do quite well.

For a while, I went abroad to study for a year. My mother-in-law was afraid that her son would be hungry, so in the name of taking care of her son, she openly came to my home and cooked, washed and cleaned her son. She didn't want to leave until I came back from studying.

Looking at her husband who has been fed by her for a year and is as delicious and lazy as a giant baby, I feel very angry.

We used to divide the work and cooperate very well, but now he doesn’t want to do it, or his work has been taken away by his mother-in-law, and in the end it has become my job.

The current situation is caused by me giving in step by step, and I hate my own weakness. But now, when I put a book on my pillow and asked my husband to let my mother-in-law out of our lives, my husband said that I was unfilial to my mother.

Once you get used to doing unreasonable things, it will become a matter of course. Now that I have to change things, people will think that I am wrong.

No matter how vicious and sinister his mother is, she is not that hateful. It's just reflected in the details of life, living habits, hygiene habits, and consumption concepts are different, and she wants to interfere in everything and always wants to dominate her son's life.

After I instilled in my husband the sense of boundaries and the distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law of a bowl of soup little by little, and let him see that as long as his mother doesn’t interfere in our lives, I won’t get angry, he said to his mother-in-law Make a request not to come over often.

My mother was so angry that she glared at me. But the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law slowly improved under the protection of boundaries.

Why do relationships deteriorate on Mid-Autumn Festival? The cause was just a chat between my husband and I, and it had nothing to do with my mother-in-law.

It was originally agreed that we would go to his mom’s place for dinner during the Mid-Autumn Festival. I waited and waited for my husband to leave, so I asked him. He said he didn't want to go there and called his mother to come to our house for the holidays.

I was a little unhappy because he made the decision without consulting me. But he didn't say much. He changed out of his clothes and started preparing dinner while chatting with his husband.

While chatting, I found out that my husband’s eldest brother had originally promised to go to his mother’s place to have dinner and celebrate the holidays, but the whole family didn’t go.

I analyzed it for my husband: Why did the eldest brother’s family agree and then change their minds? It must be because my sister-in-law doesn’t want to go.

My mother-in-law often went to my eldest brother’s house in the past, and she was once complained by my sister-in-law who had mysophobia because of her lack of hygiene. The mother-in-law was unhappy and quarreled with her sister-in-law. My sister-in-law doesn't have the personality of a dumpling like me, so she started arguing with my mother-in-law on the spot. From then on, my mother-in-law stopped going to my elder brother's place and came to my place every day instead.

My husband said: "How can the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law be good?"

I said: "Yes, as long as your mother can respect us juniors and don't want to interfere in everything, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is better." It will be fine. She didn’t even think about it, why can’t she keep her two daughters-in-law?”

Her husband was a little angry and said, “Then you don’t want her to come?” I won’t let your mother come to my house either.”

When I heard this, my head buzzed and I was so angry that I burst into tears.

Why am I so excited? Since I got married so many years ago, my mother has come to my house once. It was because my father passed away and I was afraid that she would be sad alone, so I took her over. She didn't stay there long, and she was afraid that her husband would be unhappy if she stayed there for a long time.

Is this the same as his mother coming every day? Can it be compared like this?

My anger immediately rose:

"Listen carefully, I will marry you, and your family will not give you a gift or buy a house.

Everything now is earned by myself. You have no reason to ask me to do anything to your mother. I don’t have to let my mother come, but I also ask you not to let your mother come to the house again.

You can’t have such double standards in life. You only ask me to be filial to your mother. As a son-in-law, have you been filial to my parents? Don't talk about being filial, you don't even have their mobile phone numbers, and you don't even call to say hello during the New Year and holidays. If I have a problem, if you don't tell me, they won't know until they die (I'm so angry, I can't stop talking. ! How can I curse myself for a big holiday?) What else do you have the nerve to ask of me?

I understand that you are busy with work, and I have not asked you to accompany me back to my parents’ home every time. You can count the number of times you have been to our home, and five fingers count as many. I have to cover for you every time. Do you think I jumped out of a crack in the stone and have no parents to honor me? As a son-in-law, what do you do? Look at your brother, who is also a son-in-law. How does your brother treat his sister-in-law’s family? Is it just because my sister-in-law’s family is from the local area and my parents are out of town that you bully others like this?

Just because I don’t say it doesn’t mean that I don’t have ideas, or that I don’t hate it.

You can ask your mother to come over today. Then you take care of me, I won’t take care of you anymore. ”

I rushed out of the house. Pedestrians on the street were busy, who knows how I feel now?

The vast universe, the huge city, thousands of lights, every house is bright. While celebrating their reunion, there was no place for me.

I watched two movies on the Mid-Autumn Festival night, leaving the mother and son to spend the Mid-Autumn Festival filially. p>

Sitting on the steps of the cinema, what I thought most about was that I felt sorry for my parents. People say that a son-in-law is half a son. Not only did my family not see half a son, he also lost it. To be honest, I regretted marrying far away at that moment.

In the end, I had no choice but to go home. This was the only place I was familiar with, and it hurt me. , but I can still do whatever I want.

Now, on the morning of August 16th, my house is still silent. It doesn’t matter whether I am reconciled or not. After breakfast, I am going to go hiking. , broke out in a stinky sweat, and washed away the haze in my heart. It was better to live my own life and forget about others.

I felt very sad when I heard Ying's story.

For the sake of love, a woman leaves her parents without hesitation and lives with the man she loves in a strange city. She has to overcome the inconveniences caused by the climate, food, customs, and language. She also has to face the strange family members brought by marriage. How terrified she was. Her only support was the man she loved. If this man couldn't love her more, understand her, and protect her, she would have nothing to say. What had she done wrong? It's because of love that you suffer.

If you take a woman away from her parents, please love her and protect her even more.

As a married woman, don't. Lose your position easily, and don’t deliberately try to please or please anyone. If you lower your stance, others will not cherish it. On the contrary, you must make yourself more independent and strong. Only when you are strong can you firmly grasp the initiative in life. .