Humorous jokes about family planning

One day, an elephant was taking a bath. Suddenly an ant came up to the elephant and said. You stand up. The elephant stood up. Ants! You sit down. The elephant asks the ant what you want to do. Stand for a while, sit for a while. Ants answer! I lost my underwear. Let me see if you stole it.

There are three tadpoles. They went to a restaurant for dinner ... after a while, the first course was fried frogs ... all three tadpoles sang: I don't want to grow up. ...

The hen complained to the bull, "It's unfair that humans let me lay more eggs while they plan their own families!" The old cow said, "What the hell are you? People all over the world drink my wife's milk, who TM calls me dad! "

6. The car and the train got married, but they divorced soon. Everyone asked why, and the car said sadly, "He is worried that I will be hit every day, and I am always afraid that he will cheat. I can't stand it! "

7. A hen is sitting comfortably with an egg. Suddenly, an egg emerged from its bottom. The hen asked in surprise, "What's the matter? Why did you run out? " Small egg said, "You ............., you ....................., you fart!"

8. The dog is crying in the garden. The cat asked him why he was so sad. The dog said, "Archaeologists found many biological bones in the master's garden, saying that they may have been left by prehistoric creatures!" " Cat: "What does this have to do with you? Why are you so sad? " The dog barked, "Those are my private money!"

9. The young couple got into a fight and threw a pillow downstairs. A beggar happened to pass by and was very happy. Then he flew away from the quilt. The beggar was ecstatic and cried upstairs with tears: Eldest brother, please throw that woman down.

If you want to see more jokes, go to Michelle Street.

10. One day, a green apple went shopping and suddenly saw a red apple. He said to the red apple, "You have a crush on me, otherwise why are you blushing ..."

1 1. One day, a black stool saw a white stool.

The black stool asked, Why are you so white and beautiful?

White shit is very angry!

He said: I am not shit! I am ice cream! ! !

12. Two charming children got married and entered the bridal chamber that night. After seeing off the guests, Jiaozi returned to the house and suddenly found a meatball on the bed, but Jiaozi was gone.

He panicked and quickly shouted, "Where is my bride?"

Meatball scolded: "Damn, don't you know that people have taken off their clothes?" !

13.

Every time my wife quarrels with her husband, she has to go to the toilet for half a day. This happened more often, so her husband asked her curiously, "What are you doing in the toilet? It seems quite Japanese? " The wife said, "Brush the toilet!" The husband asked, "Can you get rid of the air by brushing the toilet?" The wife said, "I don't know. It's all your toothbrush anyway."

14. Dayong was away on business and suddenly went home. He heard a man snoring at the door.

Dayong walked away silently and sent a short message to his wife: "Divorce!"

Then throw away the mobile phone card and fly away.

Three years later, they met again in a city. The wife asked, "Why did you leave without saying goodbye?"

Dayong explained the situation at that time, and his wife turned her head and simply said, "That's Rising's little lion."

15. I met Banhua in the street. She asked me what I was busy with recently. I answered truthfully: I have been very busy these two days. Yesterday, I placed an order with PetroChina, today I signed a contract with Telecom, and tomorrow I will talk with Unicom and Apple about a tripartite cooperation plan. Daughter-in-law kicked me from behind and roared: Add gas, install broadband and buy a mobile phone. What are you showing off? ..... show off in an ostentatious manner. What? ..... what?

16 ... Big Brother got a heavy automatic rifle at home. Whenever eldest sister-in-law loses her temper, eldest brother always cleans the gun without saying anything. Sister-in-law turned pale with fear, and a civil war ended before it started. I can't help asking my eldest brother, "Sister-in-law is afraid that you will kill her?" Big brother is very proud. He said, "No, she is afraid that I will commit suicide."

17. On the plane, the crow said to the stewardess: Give me a glass of water; After listening, the pig said to the stewardess, give me a glass of water, too! ; After hearing this, the stewardess threw the crow and the pig out of the plane together. The crow smiled and said to the pig, be silly, I can fly ~ ~ ~

18. A hunter went hunting with his hound and wandered around the forest all day without finding any prey.

It was dark, but he continued riding in the Woods.

The horse suddenly said,' You won't even let me rest. You want to kill me! ? '

The hunter got a fright, immediately got off his horse and ran away with the hounds.

When I ran under the big tree to catch my breath,

The dog patted his chest and said to him, "I'm scared to death." A horse can talk! " So the hunter was scared to death on the spot.

19 .. The host asked: Can cats climb trees? The eagle replied first: Yes! Compere: Give an example! The eagle burst into tears: that year, I fell asleep, the cat climbed the tree … and then there was the owl …

20. A puppy climbed onto the dining table and rubbed against a roast chicken. The shopkeeper was furious and said, if you dare to do anything to that roast chicken, I will dare to do anything to you.

The dog licked the chicken's ass. The master fainted. The puppy said happily, look who's good!

2 1. After work, several computers get together to fight the landlord, and the water dispenser can also play. He loses every time, but he still insists on taking part every day.

The sofa didn't understand, so she asked the chair, "The water dispenser is lost every day. Why are you still playing so hard? " ? The chairman said, "Are you out of your mind to ask such a question?

See joke, go to Mi Xue Street. There are many funny ones.