A simple joke

A cold joke is the feeling of being speechless and the whole audience cooling down, but it can make people feel tight and relaxed. Sometimes it's more comfortable to see this scene. Below, I collected and sorted out simple cold jokes for you. Welcome to read the reference.

Simple joke (1) 1. The hunter saw a bird in the sky and missed three shots, but the bird still fell. It turned out that the bird didn't hit the neutron bomb, patting its chest and saying, scared to death, scared to death! ? -

I passed the cemetery one night and thought it was a ghost fire when I saw the fire. Then he threw a brick and the fire moved to another grave. The man still threw a brick, and he heard: Shit! You can't even shit. You will get two bricks when you smoke. ? -

Today, my boss asked me to delete all the CS in Internet cafes. I was busy all night. Why do you want to delete CS? Actually, the cause is this. I heard the news of the temporary inspection by the Public Security Bureau today. For several days in a row, I became a street sweeper and drove all creatures below 18 out of the internet cafe. So when the police uncles came from afar, my boss and I were not nervous. However, it is a pity. When the police uncles just set foot on the door of the Internet cafe, a group of people playing CS in the Internet cafe were shouting excitedly. The police are coming! The police are coming! The police are in the dog hole! Brothers, let's go! Kill them! ? Well, I admit, at that moment, not only the police uncle's face was green, but my boss and I were horribly green.

The tortoise was hurt and asked the snail to buy medicine. Two hours have passed and the snail hasn't come back yet. The tortoise was in a hurry and scolded, if I don't fucking come back, I'll die! ? At this time, the snail's voice came from outside the door: you fucking said I wouldn't go! ? -

Simple joke (2) 1. I flew a few days ago and found a beautiful woman sitting next to me after boarding the plane. According to the principle of chatting up, I blurted out: where do you get off?

1. A brother went to the toilet and went into the ladies' room by mistake. After going in, he found that there was no urinal, which was wrong. Fortunately, there is no one in the toilet. He walked out casually. When I was opening the door, I met a MM coming in. MM faced him face to face, blushed, lowered his head, and turned to drill in the men's room? -

Dad put his son to bed and went back to the bedroom to get ready for bed. ? Dad! ? Cried the son. ? What happened? I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a glass of water? You just drank it! Go to sleep, I have turned off the lights! ? Five minutes later, dad! I'm thirsty. Can you get me a drink? I just said that! You asked me to hit you again! ? It's been five minutes, dad! ? So what? Be sure to bring a glass of water when you hit me! ?

At school, one day, Mr. A was in the dormitory to change his pants. He just took off his belt. Unexpectedly, several girls came in, so he had to come to the dormitory next door with his pants. Just as I unbuttoned the button, I was about to take it off. Unexpectedly, several girls came in, so I had to carry my pants to the door of the dormitory next door. Because I was in a hurry with pants in my hand, I had to kick open the dormitory door and shout: Is there a woman in it? Is there a woman? I saw many girls sitting in the room, looking at him in horror? -

4.8 18 What did a big sister do?

She has a mobile phone and a PHS. One day, she changed a new mobile phone card. A colleague asked her what her new number was. She said she forgot, so she dialed her PHS with her changed mobile phone.

While dialing, she continued to chat with her colleagues. After PHS rang, she picked it up and asked. Hey, hey, talk to me or I'll hang up! ?

All the colleagues present were stunned.

Then she pressed the hang-up button and said, Crazy, don't talk on the phone? .

Simple joke (3) 1. In high school, our toilet had a door and a spring, which could return to its original position, but it could only open inward, not outward.

Many people have the habit of opening the toilet door and kicking it.

Most people just kick about knee-high. I have a classmate who has practiced martial arts, probably to show off or to maintain his flexibility. He always lifts his feet high and kicks them to about the height of his chest.

One night, this man went to WC, walked to the door, without thinking, lifted his foot and kicked.

As soon as our dean had finished speaking, he pushed the door and went out.

So our dean was kicked back to the toilet by my classmate?

Take your wife to have a check-up in the morning. After blood collection:

Nurse:? You can get the list on the 32nd. ?

Wife:? 65438+1October 32 or February 32. ?

Me (weakly):? February 1?

Nurse (Khan):? Yes! Yes! Yes! ?

An old man walked slowly in the street and saw a child tiptoe to ring the doorbell, but he almost missed it. So the old man went over and said kindly, little friend, let me press it for you. ? As he spoke, the old man rang the doorbell and didn't let go until he was sure that the people inside could hear him. At this time, the child eagerly said to the old man:? Let's leave here. Come on! ? -

4. The woman is ugly and can't get married, hoping to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent him back, but she refused to get off. The kidnappers gritted their teeth and stamped their feet. Go, don't take the car! ?

5. Robber:? Robbery! Get the fuck down! ? When he saw a lady lying down, he shouted: Be fucking civilized, I only rob money, not sex! ? -

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