Humorous jokes

If you need advice or opinions, we will provide them for free; If you need the correct answer, please pay extra. The following is a humorous joke book written by Joke. com。 Let's laugh together!

A complete collection of humorous jokes (1) 1. In this era, mosquitoes are the only ones who won't leave me this season.

Apart from my figure and mood, I am not bad.

Everything has two sides. For example, you bought your brand-name bag with your own money. On the one hand, it shows that you are an independent, self-reliant and positive young woman, on the other hand, it shows that you are not beautiful enough.

4. The eyes make the same thing. The solid substance is called eye excrement, while the liquid substance is unexpectedly called tears. Compared with this name, it is obvious that gum suffers.

When you stop to think calmly, you will find that the treadmill is really dangerous.

6. It is said that you should kiss the test paper first. What's this called? Hold on, sit under your ass. What's this called? One pass? .

7. I received a fraudulent phone call today, saying that I had offended someone and had to unload my leg. If I don't want to see blood, I will take money to solve it.

After listening, I said lightly: Sorry, I am disabled and have no legs. ?

Complete humorous jokes (2) 1. Brother never buys cigarettes when he smokes, so he rubs with others? After a long time, everyone around you gave up smoking?

In late spring and early summer, the girls in the street are divided into two factions, one is leggings and the other is barefoot. But you are so different in the crowd. You are a thick-legged pie.

3. It's often the humble small restaurants that can really cook well, but the luxurious restaurants with rich decoration and elegant style can't afford it.

It is said that diaosi is defined as: monthly salary is 5000, car is 65438+ 10000, and deposit is 50000. So, I'm not a diaosi! Are you a loser?

5. The derailed young woman is like Sichuan pork. The chef tasted it while frying, and maybe the waiter took a bite when serving. But you have to admit that this Sichuan-style pork tastes good.

6. In the morning, the mobile phone is an alarm clock; On the way to work, the mobile phone is a watch; In the morning, the mobile phone is a search engine.

At noon, the mobile phone is a chat tool; In the afternoon, the mobile phone is a browser; At night, the mobile phone is a game machine;

Before going to bed, the mobile phone is a sleeping pill.

7. A buddy: My iPhone can be dual-card and dual-standby.

I don't care: cut, buy a cottage, where can I plug in a dual-card iPhone?

This guy took out his golden IPhone: Why not take two at the same time? Local tyrants, let's be friends!

Complete humorous jokes (3) 1. I took care of your brother from the first moment I saw your girlfriend.

2. In addition to exchanging rings at future wedding ceremonies, there should be a step to uninstall WeChat from each other.

I am a flower on the cliff, and no one will see me or praise me.

4. The psychological activity of unmarried pregnant girls is: Holy shit, my mother will kill me! ; In fact, she doesn't know that the psychological activity of the baby in her belly is also: Damn it, my mother will kill me!

5, the school flower is a woman, the school grass is a man, there are plenty of flowers in the world, why unrequited love for a flower means: There are so many men in the world, why do you have to like a woman? . .

6. say? Behind every successful woman, there is a michel platini? People who talk like this are naive. You think michel platini only has one posture?

7. There is such a formula: happiness = utility/expectation. If your boyfriend gets a bonus of 1000 yuan, but you expect him to buy himself a LV bag of 10000 yuan, divide 10000 by 10000, and the happiness is only 0. 1. But if your expectation is for your boyfriend to treat himself to a western meal in 200 yuan, 1000 divided by 200, the happiness is 5. To be happy in love, it is best not to let desire affect your life. I wish you all a happy life!

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