Lao Zhang and I

In getting along with Lao Zhang, I was embarrassed by Lao Zhang most of the time, just because he was embarrassed by my mother most of the time.

My mother had a bad temper when she was pregnant with me, and Lao Zhang ran away when she was provoked. She was just tricked into playing in the casino by her friends. One is to avoid my mother, and the other is to gamble on her feelings. She slowly became red-eyed and lost her job. She didn't come home for ten and a half months. My mother was hungry, so she went to the casino to take him home. She refused to come back until all the money in her purse was used up. Later, my mother gave birth to me, and he stayed with me for two days, thinking that I was crying and refused to come to the hospital again. It is said that my grandfather forced him out with a kitchen knife. After returning home, he honestly accompanied my mother to confinement, washed milk powder for me, fed me with a bottle, changed diapers, bathed me, told my mother jokes, and promised my mother to find a job to earn money after confinement.

Just a month before he was kicked out of the casino, Lao Zhang ran received two calls from his buddies. The whole family went out, 20 people, and the town turned over. There is no clue about Lao Zhang. For ten days in a row, the neighbors were whispering whether Lao Zhang had been cut down.

Lao Zhang was not laid off. After he gambled, he went down to the cave to dig mines, made some money and gambled again. It took me more than three years to stall Lao Zhang in the casino. Wearing a mask sewn by my mother, I walked through secondhand smoke and crowds and pulled out Lao Zhang's trouser legs. At this time, my strength was rewarded to him.

The day my mother left, she put me in front of the casino as usual. I got on the bus and pulled Lao Zhang. I just thought it was fun when I was a kid. I couldn't pull out Lao Zhang that day, so I had to go out to find my mother in tears. My mother took me to the casino. She crossed Lao Zhang and went directly to Lao Zhang's buddy, crying, laughing and cursing. She scolded the man for what he deserved and made him sit there and dare not say anything.

Lao Zhang went to pull my mother, and my mother slapped her on the back, and she landed firmly on Lao Zhang's face. Lao Zhang blushed. I don't know if it was my mother or if he was angry. He yelled at my mother, and my mother laughed quietly. She looked at Lao Zhang and then at me and told Lao Zhang to take good care of her daughter and stop gambling. I left.

Later, I wanted to ask Lao Zhang many times why he didn't stop my mother at that time. Finally, I held back, probably because he also thought my mother was dead.

My mother left. He took me by bike and went to many places to find my mother. It took me a year to find her. My mother is buried in the forest planted by my grandfather. My grandparents looked at Lao Zhang and looked for my mother like crazy. I didn't go into the casino once, but I still relented. I took Lao Zhang and me to my mother's grave. My grandmother touched my head and made me cry. I looked at Xiaozhu and didn't understand why I was crying.

I asked Lao Zhang, will mom come back after crying?

I still cried, because Lao Zhang cried, and I wanted to be with him.

I am eight years old and go to my neighbor Xiaoyu's house to play. We play in her room. She said she would tell me a secret. I asked her what it was. She took me to the kitchen. Xiaoyu's kitchen and living room are connected together. Curtains are hung on the door in the middle. She took me to the kitchen. There are people playing mahjong in the living room, all of whom are neighbors nearby.

They chatted while playing mahjong, listened carefully and talked about Lao Zhang's youth. Although I don't remember when I was three years old, I heard others say that Lao Zhang loved playing cards. My mother often quarreled with him and sometimes started fighting.

"Oh, Tong Tong's mother. She is only twenty-seven years old, too young, thirty thousand. " It's Xiao Yu's mother's voice.

"Who said no, I heard that it was frozen hard when it was fished out."

"Whenever Tong Tong dad, don't bet so much, also won't forcing Tong Tong mother! And at that time, I left a last word and didn't tell Tong Tong's father and Tong Tong. "

I want to hear more. After shuffling the cards, they changed the subject.

When I got home, I asked Lao Zhang what he heard today. Lao Zhang shook his hand holding the bowl, threw it on the table and stared at me for a long time without saying a word. I'm afraid of Lao Zhang. I hate him from the bottom of my heart. If it weren't for Lao Zhang, my mother, who should have slept with me, could only sleep alone in a small mound.

My rebellious period began, and I began to refuse to live with Lao Zhang. I took my luggage to find my grandparents. After I was arrested by Lao Zhang, I went to my grandparents' house and was arrested again. I simply moved the tent to the small mound where my mother slept. Lao Zhang found him in the middle of the night. He climbed into the tent and slept with me. I was awakened by birds in the morning. I haven't said a word since I was arrested. I didn't answer any questions. Finally, he took a feather duster.

I hate Lao Zhang even more.

When I was thirteen, my friends and I fell in love with Doraemon. She has a DVD player at home. Several friends near us get together at her house every night to watch 10. Sometimes it will come later unconsciously. When I go back, Lao Zhang will meet me at the alley, smoking a cigarette and walking around to avoid mosquitoes. When I came back, I just blamed me: don't be so late in the future.

The next day, I deliberately delayed my time and came back late. He was angry, but didn't say anything.

I found that I like watching Doraemon. When I came home from school, he dragged me to watch the newly bought DVD player and cartoon tape. "I don't have to go to other people's homes to watch cartoons in the future."

"I just like to go to other people's homes to watch cartoons." I took a look at the DVD player, then quickly turned around and left.

Lao Zhang bought a DVD player and it was dusty. He cleaned up, dusted off and wiped it clean. He has been expecting me to call him to open it for me.

On my birthday, I miss my mother most, and I am as sad as the day my mother left. During these two days of the year, Lao Zhang didn't dare to mess with me. He wanted to do something, but he dared not do anything. Grandma said, I am like a hedgehog with a spear, and everyone passing by is shivering.

I hid in the quilt and cried until my pillow was wet. It was Lao Zhang who made me lose my mother and made me the laughing stock of my classmates.

I accompanied Lao Zhang when he decided to move. He's in front and I'm behind. I met a neighbor's grandmother and dragged me to chat with me. She told me, is your father still gambling? You have to watch, your mother just can't look down on your father and can't jump into the river.

For the first time, someone told me so bluntly that my father gambled and my mother jumped into the river. I'm at a loss. I don't know how to respond.

When Lao Zhang came over, he shouted at his neighbor's grandmother and told her to accumulate some virtue. Don't say this in front of the children.

Pulling me home, he asked me what to eat.

I looked down, and what that grandmother said was true. He didn't say anything.

The next day, he moved to study and helped me transfer. It only took a week, and we moved to another city. I'm going to a new school.

The new classmates are very good. They don't think it's strange that your father is the only one in your family. There are several students from single-parent families in the class.

Starting to participate in class activities, Lao Zhang's new job is also very busy. We have less overlap and more post-it notes on the refrigerator. Unless I have to pay at school, I will only post one.

I knew when I was eight that Lao Zhang was responsible for my mother's death. I didn't call him dad again, and he didn't insist, probably because he was ashamed.

After the college entrance examination, I plan to go to Lhasa by motorcycle with my boyfriend and several other students. Two days before departure, I told Lao Zhang that I would travel with my classmates for a month. He asked, where to go?

"Lhasa." I continued to pack. "It may be less than a month, and I will come back when I am tired."

Because of our inexperience, the food and water we brought were quickly eaten up, and the journey was only halfway through. There are no villages in front and no shops in the back. We girls stopped the car and stopped the eldest brother who was cursing. My boyfriend and some male classmates are about to hit someone with their fists. We stopped the war. Seeing that it was getting dark, we set up a tent and slept in it. Everyone is too hungry to sleep. There is a lesbian theory that if the driver stops tomorrow, she will sit, and she is afraid of starvation.

The next day, I stopped Lao Zhang's car There is a lot of food and water in it, and I am full. I propose moving on. Everyone chickened out except me. My boyfriend dragged me back with a motorcycle, and I was a little reluctant to follow him. Lao Zhang also came to pull me: "It's a pity to come back here." Going? "

I nodded with a smile. I said goodbye to my boyfriend and classmates. They stopped me. Lao Zhang said, I am Tong Tong's father.

I didn't refute it.

This is my first trip with Lao Zhang, and it is also the Lhasa I yearn for. Buy snacks in the street and be pestered by children for money. Lao Zhang later wrote in his diary that my smile that day was the same as when I was three years old.

Lao Zhang smiles with a shallow pear vortex, which is a bit bohemian and handsome. It's also very attractive now. I saw a woman give him a scarf and sweater she knitted, and he confiscated them all. When I was a child, there was a woman who was very sensible and knitted me a sweater, which was furry and had a rabbit. The woman made a direct gesture to me. I pushed her hand and said no, but I felt like it. Lao Zhang bought it and ordered another one. But he didn't make any other progress with that woman.

I have never commented on his finding a girlfriend or getting married. I think it has nothing to do with me. I left him when I was eighteen, and he couldn't find it. I hate him.

I didn't go back for two years after I went to college. During the Spring Festival in those two years, I wandered alone in the street. I smelled firecrackers and shouted in the street, smell, this is the smell of freedom.

Later, looking through Lao Zhang's diary, I found that he was behind me, not far from me, and his eyes were always watching.

When I was going to celebrate the third New Year, I went back. Lao Zhang was hit by a car. He received a phone call saying that I would not go home for the New Year. As usual, he and I drove to the city to celebrate the New Year with me. Just out of the community, I was hit by a car, and the driver was drunk, so I hurried back.

Lao Zhang's calf and neck are in plaster. I was relieved and asked him if he was hungry. He said he wanted to eat steamed bread.

I couldn't help crying as soon as I turned around.

I went home to pack things with grandpa. Grandpa gave me a diary. I read it. That's Lao Zhang's diary.

Grandpa told me that I read your father's diary before I knew that you were blaming your mother. I didn't tell anyone about your grandparents, and your mother couldn't help it. She was sick at that time, with terminal cancer and no cure. Your father is unreliable. Don't blame her.

At the moment, fireworks sounded outside the window, and I lay on the windowsill to watch. I heard grandpa scold Lao Zhang behind me: "Who told you to run out of the hospital? Won't die? "

"I want to spend the New Year with my daughter, my wife, and let me take good care of my daughter."