The 30-year-old leftover woman "stop believing in the poisonous chicken soup", why is no one chasing me?

Poisonous Chicken Soup" is indeed harmful to people. Although it will not become the "culprit" for leftover women and divorce, the trend of older leftover women and divorce in China will indeed be affected by some "Poisonous Chicken Soup" advocacy. Let's take a look at how some "poisonous chicken soup" affects women's views on marriage and love. "You will always meet the person who loves you, but the fate has not yet arrived."

This chicken soup is actually not true. It's not too poisonous, but it is a chicken soup that makes women of marriageable age "passive and slow down in work". Fate is often used to comfort others, but if you really believe that fate will always come, it is too naive.

When people face the emotion of failure, they do not reflect on their own reasons and attribute it to the failure of fate. This has to be said to be a kind of emotional inertia. As the saying goes, "pie in the sky will not fall." , it can also be used in relationships. Fate will not be lost in the sky. The so-called fate is the deliberate effort of the pursuer.

If you want to achieve a relationship in the end, you can't just wait. If you don’t act, even if fate is around you, it will still slip away. The best way is to go out actively, socialize, get to know more people, and then pursue others, or be pursued by others. “Women should not save money. , spend money on yourself”

This sentence is positive from the perspective of self-improvement, such as improving yourself internally and externally, making yourself healthier, professionally more sophisticated, etc. From this point of view, it is a more positive idea to spend money on their own growth.

However, influenced by some movies and TV dramas, they did not choose to grow up, but blindly admired brand-name bags. Bags, brand-name clothes, dedicated to squeeze into a circle beyond one's ability, just to meet the "real (gold) emperor", the self has not grown, and the savings are very few.

If you put " If you take "catching golden turtles" as the purpose, you may "fetch water in a bamboo basket and get nothing". Because everything piled up in this way can only be regarded as "bait", those who are attracted by the bait will inevitably become tasteless after getting along with each other and eventually give up. "A woman's career is a man, marry a good man and you will be happy for a lifetime"

"Marry a good man and you will be happy for a lifetime", this sentence is okay, but "A woman's career is a man" is a true sentence In the "Poisonous Chicken Soup". "If a woman really regards a man as her "career" and is completely dependent on the man, she may eventually become an accessory for the man to "support".

Any marriage where there is a "support" relationship between men and women is difficult to achieve. Maintain balance within the marriage. When the ability to survive independently is lost, the confidence in the family will be lost. Once the man betrays, he will become very passive.

In addition, excellent men will become very passive. Emotionally, he tends to prefer women who are as good as him, or women he admires. It is difficult for a man to stay dedicated to a favorite "collection" or "pet" for a long time.

So, only by maintaining oneself and having the ability to survive independently can one have the ability to have a happy marriage. A good marital relationship is like two legs of a person, independent and combined. If he loves you, he will never leave you."

"If he loves you enough, then he will never leave you no matter what." This chicken soup sounds very reasonable. However, it ignores the fact that everything This is the principle of change. Emotions also have life, and only good management with good intentions can last for a long time.

There is no love without reason, and there is no unconditional love. Love is gradually produced in the continuous emotional interaction between the two parties. And last. The pool without backflow will eventually dry up. It is difficult to maintain long-term love if one party only gives in blindly.

If you are arrogant because your spouse loves you deeply, you will not be arrogant. Cherishing the other person often results in exhausting the other person's love and making the other person unable to love him again.

"If you love me, you must love everything about me"

This sentence. There is nothing wrong with it, but if you rely entirely on this sentence, you will close the door to improving yourself. In his opinion, there is no problem in "loving you means loving you all". The problem is that he thinks " "All" is not really all of you.

Even if he has the intention to "love you all", it is based on the expectation that both parties will gradually improve. New things will always be exposed during the relationship. Shortcomings, if we do not improve them and force the other party to accept them, it is a veritable "kidnapping of love."

Love should make both parties become better selves, and we are both willing to present our best selves in front of each other. If we find our own shortcomings, we should work hard to improve or adopt an attitude of improvement, which is the only way for the other party to be tolerant. Our foundation. If you never change, it means you are unwilling to contribute to the relationship, and emotional failure is inevitable. "I am responsible for being as beautiful as a flower, and you are responsible for making money to support the family."

This sentence can be called one of the most poisonous chicken soups. It is difficult for women who fall into this poison to have a long-term marriage. There are two obvious reasons:

First, he can make money to support his family for a long time, but you cannot always be as beautiful as a flower.

2. There is no beautiful person to get along with. No matter how beautiful a flower is, it will not feel bright after being together for a long time.

Flower looks can attract each other, but the stability of a marriage and family must not depend on appearance, but on common management and dedication.

In short, there are definitely more "poisonous chicken soups" about emotions, but as long as we can maintain rational thinking when facing some "lofty" remarks, we can make wise judgments. Don't be fooled by these "poisonous chicken soups". With less "poisonous chicken soup", there may be fewer so-called "leftover women" and "divorces".

How can a 30-year-old leftover woman get out of singles quickly? First, set your sights low. Don't keep thinking about those handsome young men in Korean dramas.

Those idols in Korean dramas, how many of them can be so handsome in a country, how can it be your turn? Secondly, think about what exactly you are looking for.

Arrange the conditions such as education, height, owning a house, owning a car, high salary, good looks, family, character, etc. Choose three items as conditions that must be met, and other conditions can be relaxed appropriately.

For example, if you choose character, education, and housing, you must be excellent. Then you can appropriately lower your requirements such as height, good looks, high salary, having a car, and a family.

You have to tell all your relatives and friends about this and ask for your help.

You need to put this matter on your important agenda. As long as there is an introduction, don't stop going once you hear that the conditions are not met, but be brave enough to go see them. Sometimes it sounds like the conditions are not very good, but when we meet, we feel like we are destined. This is the time to take the initiative to date.

During a date, there will be times when it feels less than perfect. Just calm down and think about it, are you perfect? No one is perfect, and no one is perfect. You have to understand this. If it satisfies you 70% of the time, that’s already good. Remember, don’t ask for full blame or perfection.

The person you love, the person who loves you, is waiting for you at the corner of fate!