Let me say 30 words of my mother's dissatisfaction.

With the intensification of employment competition, more and more mothers entrust their children's daily care to nannies. The extreme example is that they can't see their children for two days a week.

And it is inevitable to be jealous when you find that your child is emotionally dependent on the nanny. It is manifested in finding fault with the nanny in front of the children, or letting the children make a choice: is it a mother or an aunt? A white-collar worker in a foreign company changed four nannies in succession in order to compete for the child's emotional closeness because his son was too attached to the nanny. As a result, his four-year-old son became particularly timid, afraid of the dark and insecure.

◎ Viewpoint: No matter how hard the nanny works, it can't replace the mother's role in the child's growth. No matter how busy a mother is, she should keep in touch with her children for 45 minutes to an hour every day. At this time, mothers should turn off their mobile phones and immerse themselves in the innocent environment provided by their children. You should know that parent-child interaction is not only good for children, but also good for mothers. It makes you feel the joy of taking off your mask and revealing your true colors.

Always say that I am not as good as the children next door.

Ten mothers and eight women can't escape the strange circle of comparison, from whose children are white and tall to whose children can recite Tang poetry and Song poetry; From whose children passed the Grade 8 piano to whose children's calligraphy went to the Japanese exhibition, when mothers bite their ears together and come back to see their cowardly and ordinary children, it is inevitable that they will talk with each other.

Six-year-old Jessica Hester Hsuan was very unhappy with the example upstairs: at 6: 30 in the morning, the little girl upstairs was already singing English songs; At night 10, the piano etudes upstairs are still playing tirelessly. They are also 6-year-old children and university teachers. How can their daughter be better than my son? As soon as the mother urged her son, she couldn't help sighing: I wish I had a well-behaved daughter.

One day, six-year-old Jessica Hester Hsuan finally choked her nagging mother completely: You want Meng Meng to be a daughter upstairs, and I want Meng Meng to be a mother upstairs. She is more beautiful and knowledgeable than you! Mother's face turned white.

◎ Viewpoint: It can be said that all mothers who love to compare with others have an infatuation to expect their children to succeed. It is because they are immersed in unrealistic fantasies about their children's future that she will become a perfectionist. However, this habit of beating children while keeping up with the joneses is fundamentally destroying their self-confidence. We should know that children's growth motivation comes from psychological self-affirmation, and children who lack self-confidence will eventually become helpless and mediocre.

In addition, the demanding brought by comparison will also make children feel insecure. If children under 4 years old always hear their mother say that they are not as good as one of their neighbors and colleagues, their psychological pressure will increase and they will be abandoned. When children grow up, they realize that they are not in line with their mothers' wishes, and their mothers can't give up on themselves, so the upward motivation disappears. At this time, the child will become exhausted and no criticism can impress him. Even, he will satirize that his mother is not as beautiful and learned as a classmate's mother. At this time, as a mother, how will you face this embarrassing situation?

Always say no, and it's dangerous.

Mothers with sensitive nature are particularly prone to repeatedly remind and nag about their children's safety.

6-year-old Xiaoyu is a typical example: if mom doesn't get off work, she can only stay at home and watch TV with the nanny when she comes back from kindergarten, and she can't go crazy in the yard. Mother always scares her with newspaper examples of abducting and selling children or causing injuries and disabilities due to poor care. Over time, Xiaoyu became an out-and-out TV child. She didn't even say hello when she met a strange guest. She jumped into a small room like a mouse and stayed there for a long time.

◎ Viewpoint: In the eyes of mothers who provide excessive protection for their children, children lack instinctive self-protection ability and need parents to hold up umbrellas to follow suit. She won't think of her words and deeds, giving her children the illusion that the world is full of traps, which will eventually make them have quite extreme personalities. First, introverted, timid, and even have communication barriers; Second, some children are likely to become bold teenagers when they grow up. The more you say forbidden fruit, the more he thinks it may be delicious, which is quite dangerous. Therefore, instead of overprotecting, it is better to set a few basic principles, or let children know some tips for self-protection, and then boldly let go, so that children can experience freedom as much as possible within the scope of activities.

I hope all my friends are top students.

Eight-year-old Tian Ao described her mother like this: My mother always hoped that all my friends would be top students of Decathlon, who could play the piano, swim, play badminton and win prizes in painting competitions. My mother was very disappointed when she found out that my best friend was only a middle school student.

If Tianao 15 years old, her mother still hasn't changed, she will say: My mother is too utilitarian, I won't tell her what kind of friends I have made. Is this communication jam what mothers expect?

◎ Viewpoint: A utilitarian mother wants her children to make model friends, and thinks that children can only get something from their friends if they make better friends than their children. It is too narrow to understand the word "friend" in this way. Think about it. Are all your friends better than you in education or occupation? An interesting friend may leave a deep impression on us with his understanding and humor, and so do children.

Never squat down and watch the ants follow me.

A best-selling author in Taiwan Province Province said: My daughter gave me another chance to experience childlike innocence. She called on her mother to bend down, restore her child's instinct and see the world from her child's perspective. From a child's point of view, the world has more wonderful details that we adults can't understand. Therefore, don't laugh at some mothers wearing cartoon pullovers, squatting in the grass to catch grasshoppers, or shouting loudly about the winding of kites. These are all manifestations of childlike innocence.

The most boring mother in a child's mind is when you ask her to see the rainbow on a soap bubble or the moving army of ants. She glanced at it and said indifferently, why do you always pay attention to such boring things? Do you play the piano? Did you listen to the English tape?

Mothers who lose their childlike innocence often don't get the sincere return from their children. Often after you are tired of playing in the grass with your child, the child will take you to see his secret garden, a place that only he and a few friends know. They often come here to tell each other their troubles and worries. He brought his mother here, which shows that he has regarded you as his closest friend, and he is willing to talk to you privately. Having fun with children is an important way for mothers to open their hearts. Just like Alibaba's cave, if you say the right spell, children's hearts will open.