Why are some son-in-law unwilling to go to their father's in-laws?

My husband earns millions a year and is generous to my family. My brother also got a bride price of 200,000 when he got married, but such a good son-in-law was taken away by my parents, and now he doesn't want to go back to his mother's house with me. I know he has a knot in his heart for so many years.

My mother is a person who loves poverty and wealth. I know I shouldn't say that about my own mother, but I really don't like the way she flatters the rich. Just because my husband was poor, when we got married, my mother said something that made us look down on in front of all our relatives. Since then, my husband and I have secretly vowed that we must mix ourselves out and make our parents who look down on us sit up and take notice.

My husband and I met in 2000. At that time, he had just returned from the army and was assigned to a public institution. His salary in January is only 500 yuan. When I brought him home to introduce him to my parents, my mother made so little money at first, and her family was so poor that she said on the spot that she disagreed with this marriage. But I have made up my mind that whether my parents agree or not, I will not marry my husband. My parents can't beat me at first sight and put forward very demanding requirements. If you want to get married, the man must get a bride price of 68 thousand.

I know that my mother deliberately made things difficult for my husband, because at that time, our local bride price was generally 28,000 yuan, and the number of bride price my mother asked for was undoubtedly an astronomical figure for my husband. However, my husband agreed to show his sincerity. Only I know where he got so much money. Save 10 years even if you don't eat or drink. Finally, my husband raised enough 30 thousand yuan, and I put pressure on my parents, and they could only agree. Just because my husband didn't give enough money for the bride price and didn't satisfy my parents, they looked down on my husband even more. One day, my mother said to my husband:

I have raised my daughter for more than 20 years, only 30 thousand yuan cheaper than you. It's really a flower inserted in cow dung.

My mother said that my husband was not angry, and he in turn advised my mother that she would be good to me. After marriage, the husband is also like this. He is not only good to me, but also good to my parents. At that time, my brother was not at home at school, and my husband was in charge of the work at home. He also gives my parents some pocket money from time to time. I

I know my husband does all this to please my parents, but no matter what he does, my parents still look down on him, sometimes helping the family do a day's work and don't even care about food.

Later, my two sisters also got married. Both my sisters have married husbands who are richer than the other. My brother-in-law works in a big company, and my second brother-in-law runs a small factory. My mother is particularly satisfied with the marriage of the two sisters. Everyone praised the ability of the two sons-in-law and saw the envious eyes of others. My mother was even more proud, but when people asked about her eldest son-in-law, my mother quickly said, forget it!

After two years of marriage, my husband and I agreed to resign and start a small business, but there was no money. When we got married, my husband refused to pay back the money borrowed from others, and he was embarrassed to borrow others again. On second thought, I said I couldn't do it, so I borrowed some from my parents. They have saved a lot of money over the years. At first, my husband disagreed, fearing that my parents would be angry again. I said I only borrowed it, but I didn't return it. Besides, I am their own daughter, and my parents will not leave me alone. I told my husband to leave it alone and I'll arrange a loan.

There are only a few days before the Mid-Autumn Festival, and my sister and sister said they would all come back. My husband and I said that when we went back, we just mentioned borrowing money from my parents. My husband is still a little worried. I said it doesn't matter if I'm here. When I went, my husband's company had just sent out a box of apples. My husband said that my mother would bring it to her if she liked it. When I passed by the store, my husband bought a case of good wine for my father.

To tell the truth, every time I went home to buy things in the past two years, my husband planned to go home. My parents love eating, drinking, eating and drinking. He knows better than I do. I know in my heart that he is always thinking about how to please my parents, and he is afraid of being looked down upon by them.

My home is more than an hour away from my parents' home. After breakfast, my husband and I set off on the only valuable motorcycle in our family. My husband tied the wine to the back of the motorcycle and I took the box of apples. My husband rode slowly on the road for fear of breaking the wine again. We didn't get home until noon.

As soon as we got home, we saw two magnificent black Santana cars parked at the door. Needless to say, my two sisters must have come back. My husband also likes this car very much. He whispered to me: I will definitely let you take this car in the future. At first, I thought my sisters were driving, only my husband was riding a broken motorcycle. There is still a gap in my heart, but I am very happy after listening to my husband's words and feel that I am right or wrong.

My husband and I both arrived at the hospital gate, and no one came out to pick them up. We brought our things into the house, and when we came in, we saw that everyone had already had dinner, which made me very unhappy. I remember the last time we had dinner together, because there was a traffic jam on my sister's way. It's past two noon, and my parents won't let us eat, saying that we will wait until the third son-in-law comes. We just arrived today, and it's not noon yet. Actually, no one waited for us to eat first.

My parents didn't even stand up when they saw me coming. My mother also scolded me: Why did you come so late? Delayed everyone's dinner. Your sister and brother-in-law are hungry. My dad didn't speak, just like he didn't see my husband, and warmly greeted his two brother-in-law to drink.

I know my sisters are poor, and I have long been used to my parents' indifference. Today, I embarrassed my husband in front of so many people. Looking at my parents' indifferent attitude towards me and my husband, I was about to have an attack, but my husband tugged at my skirt. On second thought, I had to talk about borrowing money, so I put up with it. My husband took the box of apples and said, "Mom, I brought you all your favorite apples." Dad, I know you like two drinks, so I bought them for you.

My mother didn't even look at what my husband brought, so she said impatiently, eat quickly. My husband and I sat down and found that everyone had eaten almost, and several plates had bottomed out. My mother didn't ask if the food was enough. My dad and my husband didn't even drink a glass of wine, so we just had two bites.

After dinner, everyone sat together and chatted. At this time, my brother-in-law took out a watch from his bag and said that he bought it for my dad from abroad when the company sent him abroad last time. Then my second brother-in-law took out a set of health care products that looked very high-end, saying that he specially asked a friend to buy them for my mother from a big city. This medicine can't be bought by our money. Watching my parents receive gifts from my sister and sister, I smiled from ear to ear and kept exaggerating my brother-in-law's ability.

Seeing two brothers-in-law giving expensive things to their parents, my husband was silent, so I said to my mother: Jiang Zi bought you an apple you love and his favorite wine for my father. Who knows that my mother said with a pie mouth: Your two boxes of things add up to no more than 200 yuan, right? This broken apple sent by your company is not so good either. Take it home for yourself when you leave later. I don't like apples now. Since then, my mother has been holding the health care products given to her by her second son-in-law.

Although what my husband took was not as decent as his two brothers-in-law, it cost him nearly half a month's salary. My mother is not only ungrateful, but also disgusted. I really want to argue with her, but my husband keeps waving to me. I'm also afraid that my husband will lose face because of such a trivial matter, so forget it.

We chatted while drinking tea, and the two brothers-in-law spoke loudly. One of them is an executive of a big company, and the other is the boss of a factory. There are many topics between them. Talk about the development of domestic economy for a while, and then talk about what business to do to make money, which department knows what leaders. Husband is just a coolie, a few hundred dollars a month. I have no idea what they are saying. I can't get in a word when I want to strike up a conversation. People ignored my husband and couldn't hear him say a word for a long time. I think he is particularly uncomfortable, so he has been drinking tea.

And my dad, listening to his two capable sons-in-law, smiled and nodded to others. Uh-huh; Yes, yes; That's reasonable. I also look for opportunities to praise them from time to time, a flattering gesture.

For my husband, what my father says most is: Learn from your two brothers-in-law and see what they can do.

It's almost time to stay. When I left, I pulled my mother aside and said, mom, aren't we going to do a little business? We have no money. Do you think you can lend me 50 thousand first?

As soon as I finished, my mother was like a lighted firecracker, screaming at the top of her lungs: What? Lend me 50 thousand yuan? I have no extra money to lend you! My mom's crying pulled my dad over, and my dad said, where's the money at home? How can you have a daughter like you if you don't give us money and lend us money?

I said with a little grievance: When I got married, didn't Jiang Zi give you a bride price of 30,000 yuan? I'm in trouble. If you don't help me, who will?

Maybe this sentence angered my mother. My mother said something that I will never forget in my life:

How did I raise a loser like you? Now that I have no money, I think of you. Who told you to marry the poor?

I didn't expect my own mother to say such a thing. I glared at my mother angrily and said, if you don't borrow it, you won't borrow it. There is no need to insult people like this! Did I spend you a penny after I got married? In order to please you, Jiang Zi works as a coolie for you all day, listening to your instructions, and in turn, you laugh at him and despise him. Do you treat him like a human being? Do you deserve the name parents? !

At this time, my husband suddenly rushed in, pulled me up and walked out. My sister and brother-in-law also came to persuade me not to be as knowledgeable as that old man. But I couldn't hold back the injustice in my heart any longer, and I was in tears. How can such parents look down on their daughters? Don't they insult us in front of so many people because we are poor and have no money? I wonder what they think!

My husband dragged me out of my parents' house, got on a motorcycle and left without looking back. On the way, my husband said to me:

Honey, don't cry. I must fight for your breath and let others look down on you no longer.

I sat behind the motorcycle, holding my husband's solid chest, and secretly vowed that I would never come back to this home again if I didn't mix something up.

Not long after I came back from home, my husband resigned, with only 500 yuan a month. My husband is down-to-earth and does a good job. When he resigned from the company, the leader was reluctant to let him go, but a salary of 500 yuan a month was really difficult to support our lives. If you want to get rid of the status quo, you must quit your job and find another way out. Working for others is not a long-term solution. After careful consideration, I still feel that I am doing it.

At that time, the garment processing factories around our village began to take shape, and many people in the village made a lot of money by opening factories. Through a period of visits, my husband learned that this industry has great profits and considerable prospects. My husband made a bold decision to open a factory.

When my husband told me this decision, I also supported him. He was short of hands at that time, so I resigned from the company to help him set up a factory together. My husband found several comrades with good relations and borrowed 200,000 yuan from them, and soon set up a garment processing factory in our village.

At that time, in order to save two people's wages, in addition to arranging other daily affairs, my husband and I went directly into the workshop to do the most tiring physical work. Sometimes workers ask for leave, and my husband and I work 24 hours a day and night just to realize our vows as soon as possible and wash away the shame brought by our parents. Now that I think about it, only my husband and I can understand the sadness of that year.

Many things happen. Our factory began to make a profit in the first year. In addition to borrowing 200 thousand from his comrades, he earned 300 thousand. My husband and I looked at so much money, leaving tears of excitement and happiness, and felt that our decision was right.

In the second year, our orders increased and the factory realized millions of assets. My husband bought a house in the county town with the money he earned, and also bought a car that is more expensive than the two brothers-in-law. Our life is getting better and better.

My husband and I haven't been back to my mother's house once since we broke up at my house last time, and my parents haven't called us. But our life has improved in the past two years. My two brothers-in-law often contact my husband and ask him out for a drink from time to time. Even my own mother insulted me at first, and even began to call me to be caring and attentive, giving us time to go back and say that she missed us. This was unimaginable before.

Seeing that my parents' attitude towards us has changed so much, my resentment towards them in my early years has gradually faded. After all, my parents gave birth to me and raised me. Blood is thicker than water. There is no need to worry about the past.

The year before last autumn, my mother suddenly called me and said that she knew that Jiangzai loved mutton, so her family specially slaughtered a sheep for my husband and asked us to go home for dinner. I know my own mother. She must have something to ask us. I deliberately said that the factory was too busy to go back. Hearing this, my mother was anxious and said, I must come back. I have something to tell you. Let me guess. I said, just tell me what's going on. I really can't go back.

Two or three minutes later, my mother said hesitantly on the other end of the phone, isn't your brother getting married soon? She wants a bride price of188,000, see if you can make it up. I said you can find those two capable brothers-in-law. I didn't expect my mother to say, leave them alone I found them first. They all say money is tight now, and I really can't help it. Think about the money you have earned in recent years. I wonder if you can take some.

I didn't promise her right away, only told her that I would discuss it with my husband. After all, most of the money is earned by my husband, so I have to ask his advice. Just on the other end of the phone, my mother repeatedly said, okay, you tell him.

My mother, who used to be so arrogant, has become so cautious now.

In fact, with so much money, I can't tell my husband that this matter has been delayed for several days. Later, I don't know where my husband heard about it. He found me and gave me a 200,000 card directly. He said, I know everything. Don't embarrass the old man. You should give this money to my mother as my filial piety. I was moved by my husband. He can give my parents so much money. I really didn't expect that he could give money to help my parents after what they did to him. I don't think I really married the wrong person.

After I gave the money to my parents, they spoke highly of my husband and their attitude changed greatly. Knowing that we were too busy to go back, my parents personally delivered the mutton to us by tricycle, and repeatedly told me to take good care of my husband and not to make him too tired.

Although my parents' attitude has decreased and my husband's attitude is much better than before, my husband is always reluctant to go to my parents' house again. Even during the Chinese New Year holiday, he sent me and my children to the door and went home without even eating.

One day, my husband drank some wine and told me his worries. He said:

I will never forget the scene where my mother humiliated me, nor what she said in front of everyone.

I looked at my husband's slightly drunk expression and knew that this matter had become a knot in his heart and would never be solved.

Why are some son-in-law unwilling to go to their father's in-laws?

There are not a few men in life who don't want to go to their father-in-law's house on holidays. Although some people don't say anything, they also have a hundred reluctance in their hearts. They can also postpone going to their mother-in-law's house, whether they can go or not. On the one hand, there are reasons for son-in-law, on the other hand, there are reasons for mother-in-law.

Through my experience with my husband, I summed up a few points, hoping to help everyone.

First, going to my mother-in-law's house is too restrictive and uncomfortable.

That's my husband. When he came to my house, he was very uncomfortable. No one spoke, no one sat and no one stood. He didn't know what to do. He is very restrained, especially when he is with his parents, who are too poor and love rich people. This inevitably makes his son-in-law feel stiff and uncomfortable, so he would rather go less than look at his face.

Second, fear of comparison will hurt self-esteem.

Nowadays, people's psychology of comparison is getting stronger and stronger. For families with two or three girls at home, visiting relatives at the mother-in-law's house every year has become an arena for comparison. The rich son-in-law brought good cigarettes and wine to her father-in-law and prepared various jewelry and health products for her mother-in-law. The son-in-law who has no money doesn't bring some gifts in the eyes of her mother-in-law, and she is left out by her mother-in-law, which makes the poor son-in-law feel very humiliated, and

Third, some sad things at the time of marriage have not been put down.

Take my husband for example. My parents despised my husband in various ways from the beginning and said some insulting words, which no one can forgive. Although my parents have gradually recognized my husband now, in his heart, he will never forget those sad things, so he would rather give money than go to his mother-in-law's house.

I know the pain in my husband's heart, so now I won't force him to follow me back to my mother's house. I only hope that in the future, he can gradually forget and get out of the shadows.