A cold joke

The complete works of cold jokes in one sentence

In short, the complete works of cold jokes are hilarious: once upon a time, there were two people, one told me to love you, the other told me not to love you, and then I didn't love you and died! Who's the last one left? More jokes are in the joke column, welcome to enjoy!

A cold joke, hilarious. 1 1. As soon as I see a woman wearing cheongsam, I have a little desire for food.

2. Taiwan Province Province is known as "the whole island", and Taiwan Province cuisine is an inseparable part of China. The so-called homesickness/is the delicious snacks/bowls at this end/small shops at that end.

3. Once upon a time, there were two people. One told me to love you, and the other told me not to love you. Then I stopped loving you and died! Who's the last one left?

4, eat a little bitter and then bitter, and then drive a Land Rover, young and strong, and then drive a Li Xia.

It is said that the sun, the moon and the stars are the eyes of God and the night, so why is there only one sun during the day and so many stars at night?

A man of God said: Because people are doing things and watching.

Oh, my God, look.

6. "What's the phone number of120?"

"Are you stupid? What's the number of 120? Your pig won't call 1 14 to ask? "

A cold joke kills me 2 1. I have a friend who is seriously ill, and the specific symptoms are very heavy (weight).

2. Running fast in running shoes. The shoe seller can't catch up with me at all!

3, the funny signboard of the lame: static as paralysis, moving like epilepsy.

4. I always hear advertisements saying: What should I do if I get pregnant unexpectedly? But I can't figure out how pregnancy can be an accident. Ask an expert for advice.

The mobile company sent a T-shirt to every female college student who started school this year, with four characters of "M-Zone" printed on her chest. Unicom did not show weakness after seeing it. Everyone sent a pair of shorts with the words "ruyitong" written on the back of his ass.

6. The most taboo in interpersonal communication is to stand pigeons, but it doesn't matter if you stand them once or twice. The world needs peace! !

A cold joke kills me 3 1. No matter how happy a bachelor is, he will get married sooner or later. Happiness is not permanent.

2. Bedclothes say: Hurry up, the flowers I'm waiting for are all thanks.

3, take the initiative for a long time will be very tired, care for a long time will collapse.

I am too tired in this industry. Will it be difficult to change careers? Not difficult. Open Word, press Enter, and wrap.

Altman raised his hand when the teacher was lecturing. The teacher passed away.

6. Be a groom every day, sleep in a new house every night, and be a mother-in-law.

7. Why is it called an illegitimate child? Nonsense, can a man have a baby?

8. Try not to make any noise if you can.

9. Without hard work, comrades, the revolution must still be successful.

10, young people don't work hard, Foxconn boss.

1 1, the car is not anti-theft, you are joking with your money.

A cold joke, hilarious. 4 1. I was in a daze at home that day Suddenly a bird flew in and bumped into the window. I thought: God is playing Angry Birds, but it doesn't matter ... Does God treat me like a pig?

2. Who owns his house: In the cold winter, a buddy stood at the entrance of the building, wearing big shorts and slippers, looking at the snow on the ground and shouting in surprise: "Oh, when is winter?"

3. Fang Zhouzi questioned Han Han's article. Did he consider Ma Yili's feelings?

4. Six gods without a master mean: Whose toilet water is this? ...

People around me say that I am too lazy. I couldn't take it anymore and decided to kill myself. So I hired a killer.

6. Eating food is just like a train! Eat, eat, eat, eat! !

7. Jing M.Guo appeared on the cover of a fashion magazine and panted, "I hope fashion magazines will not be so thick in the future."

8. The day before graduation, Diaosi decided to declare war on her rival in love. He got up the courage and sent a short message to his rich boyfriend in Gao Shuai: At least geographically, I am closer to your girlfriend.

9. The Hollywood animated comedy Happy Feet 2 will be released in China soon. In order to highlight the theme of the film, three new characters were added around the protagonist. These cute little penguins are named, and Liu's head respectively.

10, 1687 On July 5, Newton published the Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy, and put forward the law of gravity, that is, "objects with large mass are also attractive", which was later overthrown by the fat man.

1 1. I went to the second-hand market to buy a bike, but the boss said it was out of stock. He took me to a place where my bicycle was parked in front of a supermarket and said, which one do you like? Let me help you unlock the lock.

12, "Why are all Japanese cartoons saved by children?" "Because they are busy making other films."

In a word, a cold joke killed me. 5 1. Once upon a time, a young man picked up a snail and took it home. When he went out the next day, he said to himself that he really wanted to eat fried rice with eggs. When he came back in the evening, there was a plate of fried rice with eggs on the table.

The next day, he said to himself that he wanted to eat shredded green peppers, and at night he returned to the table with shredded green peppers.

On the third day, he said to himself that he wanted to eat spicy fried snails. When he came back in the evening, there was a plate of spicy fried snails on the table.

On the fourth day, he said he wanted to eat steamed pork with rice flour. When he came back in the evening, he found nothing.

A man has been walking up and down the corridor of the delivery room for two hours. Finally, a nurse came up to him with a smile on her face.

"Sir, a girl was born!"

"That's great! ! "

"Do you like girls?"

"yes! So she doesn't have to wait for the pain like I did just now! "

3. A: Take care.

I dare not weigh it any more. That's 180 kg.

4. Jiang Wen: It's a beautiful day. Ginger is old and spicy. I am very happy.

Chen Kaige: You are so boring! Look at your beauty. This is old wine and vinegar.

Xiaogang Feng: Eggs are fixed. It's all Feng Chang's plays. Let's shoot a short clip, so why argue!

A family of three went to a restaurant for dinner, and the adults ordered some dishes made by wild animals and plants.

The child was puzzled and asked, "Mom, why do you order so many wild things?"

Mother said, "Wild ones are good!"

The child asked again, "am I wild?"

A cold joke, hilarious. 6 1. The ship is sinking, the lifeboat has no oars and oil, and the motor is broken.

Nokia users use their mobile phones to break open the motor cover and start maintenance.

IPhone users took photos of themselves and the motor and sent them to Weibo for help.

Android users turn off their phones after writing suicide notes.

The shanzhai user unplugged the mobile phone battery and installed the motor, and the lifeboat left.

2. In order to pave a railway, a survey engineer walked into a farmhouse and said to the peasant woman, "Our railway just passes through your house. I am very sorry. "

The peasant woman replied, "nothing, but don't think that I will open the door for you every time the train passes here!" " "

3. What are the two little draggers on the giraffe's head? Some people actually say that it is a deer walker, and the zoo wifi depends on it. ......

4. Customer: "You posted on this wall: Customer is God, but your service attitude is so poor. Do you treat God like this?" ! "

Waiter: "I never believe in God."

5. Bookstore owner: "This is cheap, and it will be very interesting. It will kill you."

Woman: "Show one to my mother-in-law."

6. A lady chose a hat in a hat shop. The salesman said politely, "You have a good eye. Put it on, you are ten years younger! "

The lady took off her hat and said, "No, I don't want to wear a hat that will make me ten years older!" "

7. Dad's position in my daughter's heart is irreplaceable, and my daughter especially respects me.

Every time before going out, she would dress up and ask my advice: "Dad, what do you think of me wearing this suit?"

I said, "Well, not bad." She changed immediately.

I said I couldn't go out dressed like this, so she ran out to play.

A cold joke, hilarious. 7 1. Not long after my freshman year, my roommate MM was chatting with my grandfather at home. MM: "We have six people in one dormitory."

Grandpa: "Well, how many men and women?"

MM:“......”

2. A: "Two cars collided on the road today, and the two drivers had a terrible quarrel. I sang by, but they scolded me. "

B: "Are you scolded for singing? What song did you sing? "

A: "I will sing a song."

3. The notice of a detention center reads: hit the police car with stones and win a seven-day all-inclusive value-added tour of the detention center; Hit two cars and then send a beautiful bracelet, a fashionable prison uniform and a police car to pick up and drop off; The more surprises, the top ten can enjoy a free haircut; The former 100 people can also play with police dogs, and all guests have stick massage and electric shock peeling beauty and health care services.

In Southern Song Dynasty, there was a patriotic poet named Lu You. At that time, nomads from the invasion, in the face of broken mountains and rivers, the people were miserable, and Lu You was furious. Lu You was so angry that we couldn't surf the Internet. ......

I have a friend from Hainan who loves his hometown very much. Once I criticized him for bragging, and he was very angry and asked me to explain how he boasted.

I say you think about it yourself. You should brag every time you meet.

6. In the morning, anonymous got up in a hurry to attend a meeting. But the husband insisted on making out ... He was late.

Arriving at the conference room, the leader was very angry and asked, "What's the matter?"

The lady blushed: "Still those postures!"

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