Some people sit very close to you, and you don't give candy to everyone next to you. What's your mentality? We are all girls.

In a unit or an office, it is very important to improve the relationship between colleagues. A harmonious relationship will make you feel comfortable, which is not only conducive to doing a good job, but also conducive to your physical and mental health. If the relationship is not harmonious, or even a little nervous, it will be tasteless. The reason why the relationship between colleagues is not harmonious is not only the contradiction and direct conflict of interest on major issues, but more importantly, we usually don't pay attention to the details of our words and deeds.

So, what words and deeds will affect the relationship between colleagues?

1. Don't report something good.

First, you should know about the distribution of items and bonuses in the company, or you have already received them. You sit there silently as if nothing has happened, never telling everyone, and never helping others collect something. After a few times like this, others will naturally think that you are too out of place and lack the same consciousness and spirit of cooperation. In the future, they may not tell you whether they knew it in advance or whether they got something first. If this goes on, the relationship between them will not be harmonious.

2. Do you know or not

Colleagues are on business trips, or temporarily out for a period of time, when someone just came to see him, or someone just came to see him. If your colleagues didn't tell you when they left, you might as well tell them. If you really don't know, you might as well ask others and tell them your enthusiasm. You know it, but you just say you don't know it. Once known, your relationship will be affected. Outsiders should be sincere and enthusiastic when looking for colleagues, no matter what the situation, so that even if it doesn't play a practical role, outsiders will think that your colleagues have a good relationship.

3. Don't tell each other about going in and out.

If you have something to go out for a while, or don't go to work, you'd better tell your colleagues in the office, although the leader approved the leave. Say hello to your colleagues even if you go out for half an hour temporarily. In this way, if a leader or acquaintance comes to him, he can also let his colleagues have a confession. If you don't want to say anything, you go in and out mysteriously. Sometimes you are in a hurry, others can't say it, and sometimes you are too lazy to say it. I'm afraid you will still be affected. Informing each other is not only the need to work together, but also the need to connect feelings, showing mutual respect and trust.

4. Don't talk about private things that you can talk about.

Some personal things can't be said, but there is no harm in saying some personal things. For example, your boyfriend or girlfriend's work unit, education, age, personality, temper; If you get married and have children, there will be topics about lovers and children. After work, everyone can talk by the way, which can enhance understanding and deepen feelings. If these contents are kept secret and never told to others, how can you be a colleague? Nothing, usually indicating deep feelings; If you have something to say, it naturally shows the alienation of interpersonal distance. You take the initiative to tell others some personal things, others will tell you, and sometimes you can help each other. How can others trust you if you don't say anything and don't let others know? Trust is based on mutual understanding.

5. Refuse to ask for help from colleagues.

Relax, Dont Ask For Help, that's right. Because asking for help always brings trouble to others. But everything is dialectical, and sometimes asking for help can show trust in others, build a harmonious relationship and deepen feelings. For example, you are in poor health, and your colleague's lover is someone you don't know, but you can find it through your colleague's introduction, so as to diagnose it quickly and in detail. If you refuse to ask for help, your colleagues will think that you don't trust people who know. If you don't want to ask others, others will be embarrassed to ask you; If you are afraid of trouble, people will think that you are also afraid of trouble. Good interpersonal relationships are based on mutual help. So in general, it is ok to ask others for help. Of course, we should pay attention to discretion and try not to embarrass others.

6. Reject colleagues' "snacks"

Colleagues bring some snacks such as fruit, melon seeds and sugar to the office and eat them during breaks. Don't push them, and don't refuse them all because you are embarrassed. Sometimes, some of my colleagues won an award and obtained professional titles. It's normal for everyone to be happy and let him order something to treat. You can take an active part in this matter. Don't sit idly by, let alone offer, but you refused and showed disdain. People give them away enthusiastically, but you often turn them down coldly. After a long time, people have reason to say that you are arrogant and think that you are not easy to get along with.

7. Always "whispering" to someone.

There are several people in the same office, so you should try to keep a balance with everyone and always be inseparable, that is, don't be particularly close or distant from one of them. In normal times, don't always whisper to the same person, and don't always go out with one person. Otherwise, you two may be close, but you may be more distant. Some people think that you are running a small group. If you always whisper to the same person and others come in and stop talking, then others will inevitably think that you are speaking ill of others.

8. Be keen on prying into family affairs

People who can speak will speak for themselves, and if they can't, don't dig. Everyone has his own secrets. Sometimes, people don't pay attention to the secrets in their hearts, so don't pry, don't try to discover. Some people are keen on prying, want to know everything clearly, and want to make it clear. Such a person will be looked down upon by others. You like to pry, even if you have no purpose, people will avoid you for three points. In a sense, it is immoral to pry into other people's private affairs.

9. like to take advantage of your mouth

When getting along with colleagues, some people always want to take advantage of their mouths. Some people like to tell other people's jokes and take advantage of others. Although it is a joke, it will never end in its own loss. Some people like to argue, reason, and argue for three points if there is no reason; Some people cling to each other as soon as they see a flaw, regardless of national affairs or small things in daily life, and they must lose it; Some people want to get to the bottom of an unclear problem; Some people often take the initiative, others don't talk about him, he always talks about others first.

The principle of getting along with leaders

Everyone has a different boss and his own style, and other people's methods may not be suitable for you.

I suggest you look at this problem from another angle:

1. What kind of work style do you have? Maintaining this style can make you calmly, confidently and honestly face everyone (including the general manager).

2. In the workplace, you don't know what necessary business etiquette and attention are. Being familiar with the necessary etiquette and business rules will be more easily recognized by others (including the general manager).

3. Do you need to change yourself to cater to the preferences of others (including the general manager)? Is this suitable for your development?

For reference!

Six ways to get along well with colleagues

In our working and living environment, establishing good interpersonal relationships and getting everyone's recognition and respect will undoubtedly contribute to our own survival and development, and having a pleasant working atmosphere can make us forget the monotony and fatigue of work and let us have a good attitude towards life. Unfortunately, we often hear many people feel embarrassed and complain a lot about how to deal with interpersonal relationships in the office. In fact, as long as we are honest, diligent and hardworking, it is not difficult to become a beloved colleague.

So, how to establish a good interpersonal relationship, or how to deal with the relationship with colleagues? According to past experience, we might as well start from the following aspects.

Suggestion 1: Report your opinions directly to the boss.

In the process of work, because everyone's angle of thinking and way of dealing with problems are inevitably different, they have opinions on some decisions made by superiors, have opinions in their hearts, and even become full of complaints. In these cases, don't vent your anger everywhere, or even if you tell the truth through a few people, it will become stale. When your boss hears this, it will become something that makes him angry and embarrassed, and it is inevitable that he will have a bad opinion of you. If you do this often, you will work hard and get good grades, and it will be difficult to get the appreciation of your boss. Moreover, you have completely exposed your weaknesses and are easy to be used by people with ulterior motives. These factors will have an extremely adverse impact on your development. So the best way is to find your boss directly at the right time and express your views to him. Of course, it is best to express it in acceptable language according to your boss's personality and temper, and communicate with others sincerely, so that the effect will be better. As a boss, he feels your respect and trust, and he will trust you more, which is much better than complaining and gossiping everywhere.

Recommendation 2: Learn from old colleagues.

Those colleagues who arrive earlier than you will accumulate more experience than you. When we have the opportunity, we might as well listen to their opinions and look for something to learn from their successes and failures. This will not only help us avoid detours, but also make them feel that we respect them. Especially those colleagues who are older than you, but weaker than you in other aspects, will be more moved, while those colleagues with strong ability will think that you are enterprising and will be willing to take care of and support you. We often see such counterexamples. Some people are very capable, but they think highly of themselves in the unit, and their old colleagues don't pay back their debts, which makes them very disgusted. After all, these old colleagues are deeply rooted and their opinions will be considered in all aspects. As a result, you will be frustrated at the critical moment, which cannot but attract our attention.

Recommendation 3: Help new colleagues in good faith.

The new colleague is not familiar with the job at hand, and of course he really wants your advice, but he is timid and embarrassed to ask for advice. At this time, we'd better take the initiative to care for and help them, and lend them a helping hand when they need help most, which will often make them remember you all their lives, thank you from the heart, and cooperate and help you more actively in their future work. Never be self-righteous and ignore new colleagues.

Advice 4: care about colleagues of the opposite sex.

People are generally disgusted with any form of sexual harassment, but if they can use their gender advantages to help colleagues of the opposite sex, they will be favored. It is undeniable that both sexes have their own advantages. For example, men are more thoughtful, more able to withstand hard work and solve problems rationally. Women, on the other hand, are more patient, careful, organized and good at comforting people. Although we are just colleagues, we are not at home, but everyone is eager to get the care and understanding of colleagues. If we can give full play to our strengths and give more care and help to colleagues of the opposite sex, for example, men share some tasks that they find difficult for female colleagues, women do more work that needs careful attention and do more things for a beautiful office environment, which is not difficult for us, but the effect is very good. The other party will treat you as OK only because they really appreciate your concern and support.

Advice 5: Don't care too much about your own interests.

Some people don't get along well with their colleagues because they care too much about their own interests and always strive for all kinds of "benefits" After a long time, it will inevitably arouse the resentment of colleagues and get no respect from everyone. And they always hurt their colleagues intentionally or unintentionally, and finally leave themselves alone. In fact, these things may not bring you much benefit, but make you physically and mentally exhausted and lose good interpersonal relationships, which is not worth the candle. If you give more humility to those small benefits that do not affect your future, such as giving less points when things are not enough at work, giving more honors to old colleagues who are about to retire, and sharing a bonus or an honor with others, such an open-minded attitude will undoubtedly win people's goodwill, increase your personality charm and bring more "returns". As the saying goes, "eating a small loss takes a big advantage."

Advice 6: Be more optimistic and humorous.

If we are engaged in monotonous or hard work, don't let yourself be discouraged, let alone complain and sigh with other colleagues, but keep an optimistic mood and make yourself humorous, especially in a good unit. Because optimism and humor can eliminate hostility between each other, create a close interpersonal atmosphere, help yourself and others to become relaxed and eliminate fatigue at work. Then, in everyone's eyes, your image will become lovely and easy to get close to. Of course, we should pay attention to the sense of proportion, distinguish the occasions, and don't overdo it, or we will get bored.

As long as you listen to the above six suggestions, pay attention to these aspects with a sincere attitude, and at the same time maintain a sense of justice in your work, it is not difficult to be a good colleague and have a good relationship, and your work will become a happy thing!

When many people hear the word "office", their first reaction is to avoid it, unwilling to get involved in the whirlpool of intrigue in the workplace. But the problem is that as long as we are in the workplace for one day, we will inevitably get involved in the "office". The following are important tips to help you navigate the office struggle. By understanding the "survival" of primates, we can help you master the way to survive in the workplace.

Chimpanzees are "good bosses"

When the boss is about to fly into a rage, remember that human leaders are not the only ones who sometimes lose their minds. The dominant female baboons in the "jungle" will attack subordinates who may challenge their authority at will to maintain the status quo of power. For the king of baboons, it is the key to maintain the balance of power to actively attack and suspect his subordinates, and the randomness of the attack makes the opponent unable to defend in time. But if this behavior happens in the office, it is harmful to our health: we are always worried that the pressure of being attacked by our boss will raise blood pressure, weaken the immune system and even reduce fertility. The dominant male chimpanzee may be a "good role model" for every boss. They win the support of everyone and seek the stability and harmony of species by protecting the interests of the weak. Experts say that this kind of boss is very smart, but it is more difficult to deal with than the boss who flies into a rage all day and neglects the management of employees.

There are also "flatterers" among monkeys.

Everyone may feel disgusted and disgusted with those "flatterers" who constantly kiss up to the boss. However, although the behavior of such people seems unpleasant, flattery is a very shrewd way of doing things in the jungle, and flattery of advanced animals always pays off. Scientists' research on 14 monkeys and apes has confirmed a truth, that is, "you respect me one foot and I respect you one foot." Primates who always please their relatives are bound to get more help in the struggle. Sometimes, an "apple polisher" will fall to a more powerful person in a fight. It is important that he doesn't have to take part in the fight. This is obviously a smart move: powerful individuals don't need any help at all, so "flatterers" can stand on the side of the strong without facing any real risks themselves. Of course, such people are far from respectable personality.

It is important to eliminate hostility.

Once there is a quarrel or even a big fight, who will take the lead in eliminating each other's hostility? After a fight between female baboons, the winner will go to the loser and purr softly, in order to let the other side know that the hatred between them has been resolved. For chimpanzees, it is often the losers who open the door to peace and end their hostility through hugs and kisses. But it's best not to overdo it like bonobos (also known as bonobos or bonobos)-solve most disputes through sex.

Whoever takes the lead in reconciliation will benefit the whole team, because it will reduce the tension between them. After the contradictions between the two sides are resolved and reconciled, the whole team will soon return to its original state, and employees can cooperate better in this atmosphere to ensure and improve work efficiency.

Altruism before cooperation.

Usually someone will be the first to stand up and pour tea or provide other services for everyone. For colleagues who show similar altruistic behavior, we often describe them as "cute" and "sensible", which has become a sign of them. However, studies on primates and humans show that active service is not always a manifestation of altruism.

Let them perform a task that requires cooperation, and a male chimpanzee in Uganda, Africa, will soon be able to assign their roles-some are acquirers and some are devotees. At first, they did not show a preference for cooperation between partners. But they soon realized that a leading man only thinks about himself. At this time, they decided to cooperate with a chimpanzee who looked more friendly. Before carrying out this task, they must let the latter know that they are actively expressing goodwill. But in humans, the same experiment has also reached a conclusion: if you feel that others are watching you, your behavior will become more friendly. But this is not contradictory to the role of altruism in mutual cooperation.

Monkeys also bargain.

No one likes to hear that a colleague does the same thing as himself, but gets more reward than himself. But this unfair feeling is not unique to human beings. In an experiment conducted by yerkes National Primate Research Center in Atlanta, Georgia, USA, capuchin monkeys felt the same way when they were treated unfairly.

The researchers found that when they were taught to exchange tokens (granite pebbles) for food (a cucumber or a bunch of grapes as a prize), if these monkeys felt that they had been wronged, they would do so. If the researcher changed a bunch of grapes for one monkey and only a cucumber for another monkey, the monkey who was depressed because he didn't get a reward would refuse to continue the exchange. They will appear depressed, just like a person's reaction in this situation, and sometimes even refuse more cucumbers. The reason is that this capuchin monkey feels that his companions get more "rewards" than it, showing psychological imbalance.

If you want to be promoted, you must have the support of the team.

Ambitious people like to conquer the world by themselves, but for primates, there is no intelligent teamwork ability, and no matter how ambitious they are, they are like an armchair strategist. Male chimpanzees who yearn for "the rule of the Monkey King" usually unite with other chimpanzees. In return, the new Monkey King will reward his helpers with food and mating privileges, and a male chimpanzee will share hard-won food with the other two chimpanzees in exchange for their support in the battle.

So if you see someone angry about a promotion, tell him that you can't get promoted yourself. If this person asks you for help, consider it as an investment in his future.

Four qualities make professionals.

The word "professionals" is getting louder and louder in the workplace. Knowing that this word is fashionable, one day my father, who loves reading books and newspapers, asked me, "I know talents, but I don't know what it means to be a talent in the workplace?" I was speechless for a while, but then I thought about it and felt that being a professional talent was really beyond the ordinary people's ability. At least you must have these four skills:

Strong ability of "career shaping"

"Career shaping" is the first level of "professionals". After accumulating several years of work experience, a person in the workplace will gradually step into the stage of "career shaping": What are your "occupational character characteristics"? What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? After answering these questions, you can enter the "career shaping". In the process of shaping, we should make reasonable adjustments and corrections to our career direction-we must develop in areas where we are good at, interested in, connected with people and have room for development.

Accuracy of "career lock"

"Career lock-in" is the second level of "professionals". Knowing what you are good at, what you are interested in, what you are connected with, and locking in the direction-positioning is a crucial step. Accurate positioning, get twice the result with half the effort; Inaccurate positioning will get twice the result with half the effort. It's easy to know yourself, but to see which occupations have room for development, you have to do a lot of homework: pay attention to both aspects and points. On the surface, it depends on the needs of society; Point, depends on industry trends. To make sure of these, we should browse more materials, make more mentor friends and be decisive at the same time. Some people, indecisive, will have difficulties in career locking.

"Career development" is great.

"Career development" is the third level of "professionals". The career you are locked in will become a lifelong career, which means that your accumulated skills, experience and funds will tilt towards the career development process. On the surface, you may still maintain your original professional status, but age and experience have pushed you to the starting line of your career development-this starting line is different from your career starting line: it means you have to run for yourself and for the rest of your life. Time is running out, and the accumulation of the past will turn into fruit. At this stage, you may encounter such a question: "What should you do in the next few years?" When people reach middle age, many people are afraid to make hasty decisions in the face of opportunities and are psychologically afraid. However, professionals will not stop there, they will make firm choices and forge ahead.

"Good career" is in a good mood.

After working for 20 years, you have entered the "year of no doubt". The first three stages have left you with the accumulation of experience and life, which will become the treasure of your career. At this stage, what you need is how to keep your career rising in a steady process. In the meantime, you can't relax at all. It sounds very tired, but you have seen a lot of wind and waves and are very resistant to pressure. Everything will be practiced, handled gently, and show your manners.

Professionals will push themselves to the peak of their careers at this stage. However, the prerequisite for success is that you must have a solid accumulation in the first three stages. This is what the so-called accumulation of money means, and this is "the world has its own principles, and there will be rewards for paying."

A talent in the workplace is not necessarily a high position, but it must be a "spiritual leader in the workplace." Social recognition and everyone's envious eyes are the best rewards for a professional talent. In fact, no matter what others say, it is the ultimate psychological stability of people in the workplace, because people in the workplace, who have experienced wind and rain, have made enough preparations for the rainbow floating in the sky, and their success will not happen overnight. Therefore, he will firmly be himself-carry his major to the end and pursue extraordinary career realm.

Four things to pay attention to when walking with the boss

People in the workplace can't help but travel with their superiors. In this regard, some people feel very headache, thinking that this is not only a thankless chore, but also a thing that needs to be careful at all times and does not know how to get along with the boss all the way. If you are not careful, you may "offend" your boss and lose your job.

Others feel that traveling with their superiors is an excellent opportunity, and they always vaguely hope that such a beautiful job can come to them. Once you are allowed to walk with your boss, you will be overjoyed and show it on purpose. If you seize this opportunity, it will be of great benefit to your career.

Seize the opportunity and publicize your personality.

Walking with the boss and going on a business trip in different places are a good opportunity to show your strengths. At that time, you don't have to worry about your colleagues being jealous and calling you "flattering"; Besides, the boss is also a person with flesh and blood and feelings. Being in a foreign land, you are the only person he is familiar with, so psychologically, he will naturally have a different sense of closeness and identity. With these natural advantages, the next step is to see your performance. It can be said that this is a different stage from the usual workplace, but its importance and significance to your career can not be ignored. You should relax but not indulge, be nervous but not stiff, fully relax and show yourself, publicize the advantages of your personality, and let your boss fully understand you and know you. Being in a foreign land, your talent and personality will have an impact on the future more or less. If everything goes well when you come back from your business trip, you and your boss will feel a little better because of "Have a good trip". Don't think that those are just trivial things, and a keen boss will always know your quality and character from them.

Find the right position and be a good green leaf.

When you walk with the boss, you must be clear about your position-the boss's assistant. Of course, this assistant is not passive. He should exercise the duties of an assistant at an appropriate time and try his best to help the boss. However, please don't forget his "green leaf" status. It is often thankless to highlight yourself and usurp the role of the master. How can you talk about success if your boss is dismissive or even extremely disgusted with what you have done? When traveling with your boss, don't be presumptuous, whether it's important at work or details in your life. You should listen to your boss's opinion first. At the same time, don't appear mindless and opinionated. It is not easy to grasp this degree. The best way is to make suggestions, explain the reasons and leave the decision to your boss. Be clear about your responsibilities before going on a business trip and avoid inappropriate words and deeds. Don't make childish and low-level mistakes, which will make your boss lose all goodwill in his mind and even lead to bad consequences.

Get out of the box and stand out from the crowd.

In addition to work, the business trip is also an excellent opportunity to show yourself. Your "one-man show" is particularly unique because of the change of environment. At this time, your boss will applaud your excellent performance and start to favor you. Many times, the familiar environment and working procedures not only restrict your thinking and affect your potential, but also make it difficult to change your initial impression of others. However, different places, different environments and different communication ranges can often provide you with unusual opportunities. Your excellent performance will make the boss change the inherent unfavorable evaluation of you and make you get enough attention. Don't underestimate this step, it is likely to become an important turning point in your destiny.

Watch your words, watch your words and deeds.

Walking with your boss, when you are alone, you will inevitably talk about people and things in some units. Often this is the time to test your character. Don't think that in this specific environment, your relationship with your boss is unprecedented, so you can take the opportunity to make irresponsible remarks. Remember: being good at affirming others can win the boss's favor more than finding fault. Especially when talking to the other person behind his back, being good at discovering the advantages of others, rather than blindly accusing, can better reflect your tolerance and generosity. Only by understanding this, can you effectively use the opportunity of business trip, show your superior personality charm to your boss, and gain his appreciation and recognition.

In fact, walking with your boss and handling the relationship with your boss is an extremely subtle art. Because it's not someone else who walks with you, but your boss, who holds your lifeline in his hand. Walking with your boss, if you are good at creating opportunities, even a short distance, you can win the appreciation of your boss and refresh your career.

Be a warm person

When others are in trouble, offer a little help as much as you can, even if you can't provide substantial help, you should have a sympathetic heart; When a friend is promoted to a higher position and makes a fortune, it is also a kind of warmth to congratulate him sincerely. When you warm others, others will instinctively approach you.

Affirm others

Everyone has a psychological need to be affirmed and valued. We always unconsciously like those who affirm us, praise us and encourage us, because we can gain more confidence and sense of value from their words.

Convey a happy mood

Emotions are contagious, and everyone likes to get along with happy people. A positive and optimistic attitude towards life can not only bring happiness to people, but also bring strength, and they are attracted to you unconsciously.

Treat others with tolerance

Be tolerant of others and don't ask others to make yourself comfortable everywhere. Look down on the shortcomings of friends and praise their advantages. When a friend says something that makes him unhappy and does something that makes him unhappy, he can look at it from the standpoint of his friend and be considerate. People who are not demanding of others often give people a relaxed feeling and are easily welcomed.

With the heart of fate

People need fate. If it's still hard to get along with someone despite your best efforts, let it be. Having a good interpersonal relationship does not mean being recognized and liked by everyone. I don't long for good interpersonal relationships, but I can get the beauty of balance in interpersonal communication.

Reference: Zhaopin.com.