A humorous joke that will definitely make you laugh out loud

Humorous jokes that will definitely make you laugh out loud

Introduction: Life is a big dyeing vat. There is sorrow and joy. Everyone hates sorrow and is close to joy. Next, I will sort out the absolute A humorous joke that will make you laugh out loud, I hope it can bring a little joy to everyone.

Humorous jokes that will definitely make you laugh out loud

1. Two counterfeiters accidentally made counterfeit bills with a face value of 15 yuan. They decided to take them to a remote mountainous area and spend them. When they bought a 1-yuan candied haws with a 15-yuan piece, they cried, and the farmer gave them two 7-yuan pieces.

2. There was a polar bear who had to wear sunglasses to see because the snow was too harsh, but he couldn’t find the sunglasses, so he closed his eyes and crawled around on the ground looking for it, crawling. I crawled and crawled until my hands and feet were dirty before I found the sunglasses. I put on my sunglasses and looked in the mirror, and then I realized: Oh, it turns out I am a panda

3. A polar bear stayed alone on the ice in a daze. When it got bored, it started to pluck out its own hair. Playing with one stick, two sticks, three sticks, and finally there was no one left, and then he died of the cold.

4. Once upon a time, there was a bird. He would pass by a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day there was a fire in the cornfield, and all the corn turned into popcorn!!! After the bird flew over, I thought it was snowing and was freezing to death.

5. Xiao Ming got a new haircut. When he came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new hairstyle and laughed: Xiao Ming, your hair looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged. He ran outside and cried, and while he was crying, he flew up.

6. The spider fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly rejected it. The spider asked: Why? Why is this! The butterfly said: My mother said that those who hang out online all day long are not good people.

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7. On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. Banana, who was walking in front, suddenly felt very hot. He said, "It's so hot. I need to take off my clothes." As a result, he peeled off the skin. As a result, the banana behind fell down. Then the bananas that took off their clothes turned into dried bananas~

8. One day, three explorers finally found the "Valley of Hope". According to legend, as long as you stand on the edge of the valley and shout what you are thinking, If you want something, then jump into the valley, and you will get what you want in the valley. So the three of them decided to give it a try.

The first one was a pervert, so he shouted "Woman! Woman!" When he jumped down, there were a lot of beauties waiting for him.

The second one One is a nerd, shouting "Books, books, books, books!" Then he jumps into the valley and gets a pit full of books.

The third is an indecisive person, always unable to think about things. After an hour of deciding on his favorite, he finally made up his mind and felt that banknotes were the most useful, so he walked towards the edge of the valley. When he accidentally kicked a stone, he cursed "shit!" Unexpectedly, there was a sudden change in the center. Unsteady and fell down the valley.

9. As for Xiao Ming, he has to take the exam tomorrow, but he is watching TV at night

Xiao Ming’s mother worriedly asked: Have you finished reading all the books? There is an exam tomorrow

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Xiao Ming replied readily: Mom, I’ve finished reading.

Xiao Ming’s mother happily praised Xiao Ming: Good boy, you will do well in the exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming cried and said: Mom, I mean, Mom, I see , finished?.

10. The panda loved the deer deeply, but was rejected when he expressed his love. The panda roared ~ Why? Why is all this happening? Xiaolu said timidly: My mother said, those who wear sunglasses are all bad boys

11. One day Xiao Ming was walking on the road! Walking Suddenly my feet felt sore! Why is this happening? Because Xiao Ming stepped on a lemon!

12. Which Chinese character is the coolest? T-string (cool)

Towel? Yes ?Bi? said: Son.

When you put on your doctorate hat, your worth will be a hundred times greater.

?Chi? said to ?Jin?: Sister, the results are out. You are pregnant with twins.

The minister said to the giant: The area is the same as yours. I have three bedrooms and two living rooms.

13. One day, a university teacher asked a student: There are ten birds on the tree. If one is shot and killed, how many are left?

The student asked: Is it silent? Pistol? Not how loud is the gunshot? 80-100 decibels. Is it illegal to hunt birds in this city? No. Are you sure the bird was really killed? Sure. At this time, the teacher was already impatient: "Just tell me how many birds are left, OK? Are there any deaf birds in the tree? No." Are there any that are locked in a cage and hung on a tree? No. Are there other trees nearby? Are there any other birds on the trees? No. If a bird is pregnant, does it count as a baby bird in the belly? It doesn’t. Are there any flowers in the bird-hunting eyes? No flowers, just ten. The teacher was already sweating, and the bell rang for the end of get out of class, but the students continued to ask: Are there any birds that are so stupid that they are not afraid of death? They are all afraid of death. Will he kill two with one shot? No. The student said with confidence: If your answer is not deceptive? If the bird that was killed hangs on the tree and does not fall, then there will be only one bird left. If it falls, there will be no bird left. The teacher immediately foamed at the mouth and fell to the ground!

14. One day, someone passed by the intersection and discovered something super scary. He found that Kakashi and Sun Wukong were actually laughing!

15. A long time ago, one night, there were three shrimps in the pond. Hahaha, a female ghost farted and died.

16. A female alien who was engaged in biological research came to the earth. After walking around, she felt that human genes had a lot to learn from, so she captured a man and wanted to marry him Bring back textual information about human genes. But the spacecraft was too small to take him away, and the data was too huge to be taken away at once. When she was anxious, the spacecraft's computer help system said: "This man has a small stick on his body that can solve all your problems." Then she suddenly realized it, smiled and said to the man with saliva: "." . . . . Give me the USB flash drive!?.

17. There was a man who was crossing the road and was accidentally crushed by a truck. When he was dying, he looked at his body and said: "It turns out that I am a bean paste stuffing, no?" Meat stuffed?

18. Brother, stop touching it! If you touch the top and bottom, the hair will fall off. Such a tender skin will bleed when you touch it! How do you want me to sell them in the future? These peaches are all fresh, just forget it if you don’t want to buy them!

19. Once upon a time, there was a little sheep. One day he went out to play and met the big bad wolf. The big bad wolf said: I'm going to eat you!!! The little lamb was shocked! Guess what happened? In the end, the big bad wolf ate the little lamb.

20. Once upon a time, there was a swordsman. He was very cold, his heart was very cold, his sword was very cold, and he died of coldness in the end.

21. Once upon a time, there was a tiger chasing a deer on the road. !The deer was frightened and ran faster and faster, and finally it turned into a highway

22. There was a tomato that was hit by a stone and smashed, and another tomato fell to pieces again. , and there is another tomato, tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. Countless tomatoes fell to pieces, and the last tomato also fell. Yeah! Ketchup!

23. A soldier asked the company commander: He stepped on a landmine during combat. What should I do? The company commander was very angry: Damn, what can I do? If I step on it and damage it, I will pay compensation according to the price.

24. One day, the three little pigs built three huts to avoid being chased by the big bad wolf. The big bad wolf effortlessly destroyed the thatched house, the wooden house, and the brick house. The three little pigs ran as fast as they could, but they were still caught up by the big bad wolf. The three little pigs said desperately, "It's up to you." We give up, do whatever you want.

At this time, the big bad wolf smiled evilly and said with saliva: Then tell me where is Little Red Riding Hood?

25. The elephant defecated in the middle of the road, and an ant happened to pass by. It looked up. Looking at the mist-shrouded peak, I can't help but sing: Yalasuo, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau!~~~~

26. When you sign up for a large ticket next to the railway but don't bring any paper, don't worry, the train will remind you You: Pants wipe, pants wipe, pants wipe! When you go to the river but don’t bring any paper, don’t worry, the frog will tell you: stick scrape, stick scrape, stick scrape!

27 .The principal and the English teacher visited a middle school in France. The principal spoke in the auditorium and the English teacher translated.

Principal: ?Dear teachers and classmates!?

English teacher: ?ladiesandgentlemen!?

Principal: ?Ladies and gentlemen!?

English teacher-_-! thought for a moment and said: ?Goodmorning!?

Principal: ?Good morning!?

English teacher: ?==? Khan

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