A cold joke between men and women

1, ready to make my girlfriend happy, she will find her beloved puppy missing when she comes home from work that day.

Then I regret to tell her that the puppy was given away.

And then when she beat her chest and cried.

I took out a steaming pot, touched her head and said, I'm kidding. The dog is in the pot. Eat while it's hot.

2. Woman: You like me so much. Tell me about my advantages.

Man: Well, you don't need a reason to love someone.

W: What are my shortcomings?

Male: lazy, stupid, greedy, fierce, short and fat.

3. male:? Will you marry me

Woman:? I've known you for so long, why do you propose to me now?

Man:? Because I am timid and afraid of death, so?

Woman:? Then why do you dare to propose to me now?

Man:? Because I read the newspaper yesterday, it said that according to statistics, married men live longer than single men. ?

4、? Wear school uniform tomorrow, okay? He called her.

? Understand? She's a little impatient. mother-in-law

The next day? You're kidding! ? She found that no one was wearing school uniforms on campus.

? Just want to wear a couple costume? He pointed to his school uniform and smiled brightly.

Single law: men are single because there is no woman to give love to; Women are single because there are no men to love. Men insist on being single because they can't find a partner; Women insist on being single because they can't find a good partner. When a man insists on celibacy, people will think that he is enterprising; When a woman insists on celibacy, people will think there is something wrong with her.

Appreciate? Worship law: men appreciate women and make them more attractive and aura; Women's worship of men gives men strength and courage. Men's excessive appreciation of women makes women frivolous and self-deceiving; Women's blind worship of men makes men pretentious.

Confused? The law of cleverness: men are confused all their lives but absolutely clever when they are in love; Women are smart all their lives, but they are particularly confused when they are in love.

Dilemma law: men don't feel bad about women, but they have a headache for women; Women are not as flustered as men, and they are very unhappy with men.

Law of wishes: Men's wishes are bulging, so the more clothes they wear, the more they can show off their wealth; Women want to be slim, so in order to show off their figure, they wear less clothes.

Dating law: men arrive first on purpose to please each other; Women are deliberately late for a date to test each other.

The law of attention: men pay attention to women that everyone pays attention to; Women pay attention to the man in their hearts.

Law of lovelorn: when a man is lovelorn, he will spend time busy with his career as revenge; Women who are lovelorn will take revenge as their career.

Law of forbearance: men can tolerate unhappy love, but not unhappy marriage; A woman can endure an unhappy marriage, but not an unhappy love.

Law of disgust: men hate their wives' nagging and complaining the most; Women hate their husbands' silence.

Law during love: Men are eager for physical closeness when they are in love, while women are willing to be close psychologically when they are in love. So men yearn for each other's naked bodies at this time, and women yearn for each other's naked hearts at this time.

Master the law: men's specialty is lying; Women's specialty is coquetry.

Law of Desire: Men's desires are recognized and women's desires are loved.

Law of Kissing: Men kiss to experience excitement, while women kiss to experience love.

Law of shopping: If a man wants to go shopping with his wife, he'd better bring an extra credit card. If a woman wants to invite her husband shopping, she'd better find a store with seats. Men go shopping, and the more they go shopping, the more depressed they get; Women get more excited when they go shopping. Men only buy what is urgently needed when shopping, while women want to buy everything when shopping.