Private joke

Private jokes 1:

1, a man died and went to hell. It was very hot.

But he saw a beautiful woman in hell with a bottle of good wine beside her. He turned to the kid and said that hell is so beautiful, with wine and beautiful women. ?

Children:? You only know one thing, but you don't know the other. There is a hole in the bottom of this bottle of wine, so you can't drink it. That beautiful woman didn't. ?

2. campaign assistant:? Congressman, there is a hysterical woman yelling on the phone. She wants to know your opinion about abortion. ?

Senator:? Well, tell her I'll send the check first thing in the morning! ?

3. A newly-married soldier wrote a letter to his wife: If you are free this weekend, please come. I need someone to accompany me, but I am short of money. Please take 300 yuan when you come over. If you cannot come, please send it to 700 yuan. ?

My father-in-law and husband have gone out to work, and my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are really bored at home!

Mother-in-law teaches daughter-in-law to say: When you miss a man, you must grit your teeth and hold on! ?

Soon, the daughter-in-law found out that her mother-in-law was having an affair!

Daughter-in-law is furious: Didn't you tell me to grit my teeth and stick to it? How did you do that? ?

My mother-in-law pointed to her mouth and said, I have to have teeth to bite! ?

When he came back from work, his wife asked his miser husband for money to buy food. The husband felt in his pocket for a long time before giving the money to his wife.

As soon as the wife put the money in her pocket, the miser took her to the mirror, took the money out of her pocket and said, I gave it to you just now, and now the man in the mirror has taken it away. ?

The wife was angry and pointed to the mirror and said, look, the woman in the mirror is your wife, and the woman standing in front of you has always been her boss's. . . ?

Private joke set 2:

1, anonymous accountant asks for leave from the factory director.

The factory director asked? Why do you have to ask for leave at this time of every month? Why did you ask for leave?

The female accountant said:? There is a visitor at home. ?

The director was curious and asked. What guest?

The female accountant hesitated for a moment and said, family. ?

The factory director continued to ask: Who? Why come every month?

The female accountant blushed and said, Liu Hongshui. ?

The factory director patted his thigh: Liu Hongshui is my cousin. No, I have to be with him. ?

I met a lady in the trading hall. Now, the stock market is a bit like a sheep's husband, she said. Let's abandon him, a little reluctant; Stay together every day and suffer indignities.

Eat and drink well and wait on him. I hope he can take a little sun as his spirit. I just saw his erection, and he hasn't finished taking off his clothes. He's dying.

The key is that as soon as you get dressed and are ready to have an affair, he pulls you back and says, there is a reaction, there is a reaction, you wait! !

A man came back from an expedition in Africa and told what he saw and heard in Africa.

A friend asked: I heard that the grasslands in Africa are very dangerous. What are you most afraid of? ?

This sea of people blew: once I was urinating in a bush, suddenly someone shot at me, but fortunately I missed, which scared me to death. ?

? Why did he shoot you?

? I'm urinating. Maybe the man thought it was an elephant's nose and shot it. ?

One day, when Tom was driving in the street, he found his friend John crying on the roadside.

So Tom got off the bus and asked John what had happened.

John pointed to the smashed car on the side of the road and said, look over there! ?

After seeing the car, Tom comforted him and said, Never mind! Car crash, buying a new car?

John said again:? Did you look in the car?

Tom looked into the car and said, Never mind! Girlfriend is dead, find a new one! ?

John finally said, look at her mouth again. . . ?

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