Requesting an English joke with Chinese translation~~Urgent

1. Nest and Hair

My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.

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"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.

"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.

"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her.

"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "

1 .Bird's Nest and Hair

My sister is an elementary school teacher. Once a student told her that a bird had built a nest in a tree outside the classroom.

"What kind of bird is it?" my sister asked her.

"I didn't see the bird, teacher, only the bird's nest." the child replied.

"So, can you describe this bird's nest to us?" my sister encouraged her.

"Oh, teacher, just like your hair."

1.I've Just Bitten My Tongue

"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"

"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

2. I just bit my own tongue

“Are we poisonous?” a young snake asked its mother.

“Yes, dear,” she replied, “Why do you ask?”

“Because I just bit my tongue.

”

3.A Woman Who Fell

It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle -aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"

3. Falling woman

During rush hour, I hurried to the luxury center of New York Standing to catch a train. Approaching the door, a fat middle-aged woman rushed from behind. Unexpectedly, she lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slipped on her back. Her inertia made her close to my feet. I was about to help her, but she got up on her own. She calmed down, winked at me, and said, "Do beautiful women always fall at your feet? ”

4.

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

4. They are brought directly from the United States

A Shortly after returning from visiting her daughter in the United States, an old Chinese woman went to a city bank to deposit the U.S. dollars her daughter had given her. At the bank counter, the bank clerk carefully checked each banknote to see if it was counterfeit.

This approach made the old woman very impatient, and finally she couldn't bear it anymore and said: "Believe me, sir, and please believe in these banknotes." These are real US dollars, they are brought directly from the United States.

"

5. The mean man's party.

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"

5. A miser's treat

A notorious miser finally decided to treat himself to a treat "You go up to the fifth floor, look for the middle door, and ring the doorbell with your elbow," he said when explaining to a friend how to find his home. Once the door is open, use your feet to push the door open. ”

“Why use my elbows and feet? ”

“You have to hold the gift with both hands. Gosh, you wouldn't come empty-handed, would you? "The miser replied.