Tutor's funny quotations

1, report when it gets dark. I'm going to faint. Is there a picture on my face? Why do you always look at me?

3, don't buy me anything in the team!

4. Put your feet on the ground!

5, both! A little awkward.

6.20-year-olds are still pretending to be cute there.

This hat messed up my hairstyle.

8, chest out! Abdomen in! Lift the anus!

9. Who took my microphone? (of a horn)

10, what are you laughing at? Laugh like a fart!

1 1. Pull it out and shoot it for fifteen minutes next time.

12, who told you to transfer! Automatic navigation?

13, don't guess my password! Sometimes it's fast.

14, abdomen! Not pregnant yet! What is your stomach?

15, I will kick you to death with one punch! (Too hasty, slip of the tongue)

16, being with you is really worrying about my teenage head!

17. What about the rear swing arm? Why put it on your ass? Touch yourself!

18, look at your kicking, do you want to fly?

19, believe it or not, I will push you out with one foot! What does shrimp mean? )

20. Look what I'm doing. There are no flowers on my face, only pimples.

2 1, don't cheat (ignore) my every turn!

22. If you don't listen, I'll find a pervert to take you!

23, look at what! Are there any beautiful women there? Yes, I have already seen it!

24, put your feet on the ground! A painful step.

25. The pace of the market is even smaller! The ligament of the person behind is almost strained!

26, the flowers in the greenhouse put on your cuckold husband, er, this.

27. When standing in the military posture, check whether the arm is fastened. Seat belts?

28, shout rang! Run them over! Blow them up! When shouting slogans.

29. What are you laughing at? My teeth are going to laugh. Do you want to drink porridge tonight?

30, the little step told you to eat? (Creativity is the only way to taste)

3 1. Don't say I brought it after you went out. Despair.

32. Shouts rang! Run them over! Blow them up! (When shouting slogans)

33. Are you waiting in line? Why is there a curved straight line in front of me?

Is drinking water for 34 or 2 minutes enough? Not enough! Then stop drinking.

35. Are you waiting in line? ! Why is there a curved straight line in front of me?

36. Next time you move, pull it out and shoot it for fifteen minutes! A word worth pondering.

37. You are fully automatic, right? This is because people always look to the right when they stand at attention.

38. Your head is not. Put a melon on it. Winter melon is smarter than you.

39, left and right, left and right, left and right, what's wrong with this? You want to eat.

40. You are fully automatic, right? (Because people always look to the right when they stand at attention. )

4 1, what are you looking at! ? Are there any beautiful women there? Yes, I have already seen it! That cat jumped on me too much!

Don't let me see your white teeth, or I'll let you get your teeth out in the sun.

43. I sank back again. I suddenly remembered home. You are all homesick! Look up at the sun! .

44, left and right, left and right, that's it. How is it wrong again? You want to eat! Our high school instructor said.

45. Don't look at me, look at me. Such a handsome guy doesn't know what to think in front of you, a group of stupid children!

46. Students, be careful. I don't shoot easily. If I shoot, I will hurt someone. If I hurt someone, I will see blood. If I see blood, I will die!

47. When standing in the military posture, a girl shouted: Report! There are spiders! The instructor was surprised and asked, is there a pig? Where is the pig?

Sink back again, I suddenly think of home, you are all homesick! Look up at the sun! Very creative.

49. I'm just a child who raises pigs and drives you around all day. Oh, my God! It turns out that everyone is a pig.

50, don't let me see your white teeth, or I'll let you shine in the sun! It's too hard for grandpa sun.

5 1, on the day of military training, the boys were extremely lazy. The instructor was anxious and said, are you pure men? If you are men, swear to me, don't move.

52. A bee flies in front of a girl, and the girl hides slightly. The instructor looked at it and said, freeze! Wait until it bites you! Girls are speechless.

53. People ask you who is your mentor. Please don't say it's me I'm begging you, just stand still, okay? What about me! Damn it!

54, I tell you! What a small step! Be nervous! Ah! Like this! Be Big! There are too many interjections.

55. Students, be careful. I don't shoot easily. If I shoot, I will hurt someone. If I hurt someone, I will see blood. If I see blood, I will die! (the word solitaire? )

56. Your father (some people)! Every day is not serious! Look at the way you walk in anger! It's not a catwalk.

57. When standing in the military posture, a girl shouted: Report! There are spiders! The instructor was surprised and asked, is there a pig? Where is the pig? All the girls collapsed at once.

58. Instructor to a student: Come here! The student walked away with a smile, and the instructor said, I'm really at a loss for you to come here with a smile like that.

59, move, move! I know your martial arts are hidden. Don't you dare to challenge the authority of discipline, I'll waste your martial arts later!

60. You people! Every day is not serious! Look at the way you walk away! Meow step is not like meow step! Aren't you talking about our junior high school instructor?

6 1, instructor to a student: Come here! The student walked away with a smile, and the instructor said, I'm so fucking at a loss when you come here with a smile like that!

62, temporary amnesia! Will you forget to eat at night? ! Student: No. Teacher: So you are fucking selective amnesia! Everyone fell down.

63. When I'm not doing well, alas, I have to pin my dream on the next session! That's how you walk normally! When you leave. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

64. The students shouted slogans while marching: firm politics, diligent study and down-to-earth style. Instructor: You can't remember four fucking sentences! Student: I suddenly forgot. Instructor: Fuck you.

65. The boy smiled at the girl phalanx, and the girl phalanx instructor shouted: What are you looking at? Never seen a beautiful woman? I want you to see it! Not handsome, so ugly depends on the girls in our class!

66. A group of girls went to the toilet. When someone saw it, he snapped: going to the toilet is a very serious matter. Get in line! Come out of the toilet in high spirits, head held high. All the girls fell down.

67. A boy smiled at the girl phalanx, and the girl phalanx instructor shouted: What are you looking at? Never seen a beautiful woman! I want you to see it! Not handsome, so ugly depends on the girls in our class!

68. Students, what is an urgent March? On the basis of your shopping, take your hand out of your trouser pocket and swing it back and forth. Ok, listen to the password: March quickly (explained very well)

69. When standing in the military posture, an instructor saw someone in the other phalanx faint, so he turned to the people in his phalanx and said: We are not allowed to fall down here! I ignored it when I fell and stepped on him.

70. The instructor taught us to sing military songs. After a group of us went up to sing, the instructor buried his face below and said that I thought I was singing out of tune. I didn't expect you to run faster than me. How can I bring out your class of soldiers?

7 1. One day, the instructor taught to sing the Song of Strict Discipline. He sang seriously: Ah, prostitutes (discipline), prostitutes, ah, prostitutes, prostitutes have me, prostitutes have you, prostitutes have endless fighting power!

72. When standing in the military posture, an instructor saw someone in the other phalanx faint, so he turned to the people in his phalanx and said: We are not allowed to fall down here! I ignored it when I fell down. I stepped on him and everyone was speechless.

73. Instructor: You! Come here! Yes, only you! Don't look at me with such innocent eyes, it's no use! Suddenly I sneezed twice, so I suddenly said to the whole class, damn it, who is scolding me? ! (pointing to the man again) Is that you? The man was speechless.

74. For other tutors, we just won the first prize later. You can't argue with us. If you really want to fight, all you have to do is win the second place. The instructor was angry on the spot. What's the point of other students walking so well? You count down and I'll buy you champagne.

75. One day, because we were naughty, the instructor complained: Before you came, your headmaster said you little bastards couldn't fight or scold. I thought when we were in the army, anyone who couldn't stand well would be kicked over and pulled under the bed.

76. One day, the instructor taught to sing the song of strict discipline. He sang seriously: Ah, prostitutes (discipline), prostitutes (discipline), prostitutes (discipline), prostitutes (discipline), prostitutes (me), prostitutes (discipline), prostitutes (you), prostitutes (discipline) have endless fighting power!

77. The students shouted slogans while marching: firm politics, diligent study and down-to-earth style. Instructor: You can't remember four fucking sentences! Student: I suddenly forgot. Instructor: You have fucking temporary amnesia! Will you forget to eat at night? ! Student: No. Teacher: So you are fucking selective amnesia! Everyone fell down.

High school military training instructors hilarious quotations.

1, what are you laughing at? My teeth are going to laugh. Do you want to drink porridge tonight?

2. When standing in the military posture, a girl shouted: Report! There are spiders!

The instructor was surprised and asked, is there a pig? Where is the pig?

3, abdomen! Not pregnant yet! What is your stomach?

4. A boy smiled at the girl phalanx, and the girl phalanx instructor shouted: What are you looking at? Never seen a beautiful woman? I want you to see it! Not handsome, so ugly depends on the girls in our class!

5. When an instructor was standing in the military posture, he saw someone in the other phalanx faint, so he turned to the people in his phalanx and said, We are not allowed to fall down here! When I fell, I ignored him and stepped on him ... everyone was speechless.

6. Next time you move, pull it out and shoot it for fifteen minutes! A word worth pondering. . )

Put your feet on the ground! (painful steps ~)

8. The pace of the market is even smaller! The ligament of the person behind is almost strained!

9. Are you waiting in line? Why is there a curved straight line in front of me?

10, move again! Move again and I'll kick you out!

1 1. The teeth are very white. What toothpaste should I use?

12, (when I walk badly) Hey, I have to pin my dream on the next session!

This is what happens to you!

(When he left) Wow, self-taught without a teacher!

13, talent! Talents in the new century!

14, your father (some people)! ! Every day is not serious! ! Look at the way you walk in anger! Meow (cat) step is not like meow step! Isn't that our junior high school instructor? )

15 or so, ... Yes, that's it ... What's the matter? You want to eat! (Our high school instructor said)

16, students, what is an urgent March? On the basis of your shopping, take your hand out of your trouser pocket and swing it back and forth. Ok, listen to the password: "March in haste" (well explained).

17, don't let me see your white teeth, or I'll let you bask in the sun! (It's hard for Grandpa Sun)

18, move, move! I know your martial arts are hidden. Don't you dare to challenge the authority of discipline, I'll waste your martial arts later!

19, don't guess my password ~ (sometimes it moves quickly)

20. "Who took my microphone?" (of a horn)

2 1, I'm really worried about the teenager with you!

22. Don't buy me anything in the team!

Funny quotations from classical philosophy-funny quotations

When will there be a bright moon? Ask your roommate about the wine. I wonder if the handsome guy next door has a girlfriend?

Although I am not very handsome, when I was a child, someone praised my left nostril as an idol.

Mom's suggestion: Daughter, you should eat a little properly to lose weight!

Spring is a period of high incidence of colds and feelings. Some people accidentally caught a cold, and some people accidentally fell in love. I belong to the former.

I am also an infatuated seed. It rained and drowned.

Money is not everything, sometimes it is needed.

I allow you to come into my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in my world.

God, did you let summer and winter live together? ! This kind of weather!

When the bird is big, there are all kinds of Woods!

Not afraid of enemies like tigers, but afraid of teammates like pigs.

Summer is not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind. ...

Do whatever you want!

Don't call me if you have nothing to do, and don't call me if you have anything to do.

Do you think I'll watch you die? I close my eyes.

Angels can fly because they look down on themselves. ...

I want to puppy love, but it's too late. ...

Please don't speak English in front of me in the future, ok?

I hope that one day I can double-click my wallet with my mouse, then select a hundred-dollar bill, press "CTRLC" and keep "CTRLV" all the time.

I am a lonely tree, standing on the roadside for thousands of years, waiting alone, just because one day you pass me, I will fall for you, even if I don't smash you, I will live in vain.

Please raise your hand if you love me, and stand on your head if you don't love me.

Never hang yourself from a tree. You can try it several times in the surrounding trees.

Don't set the bank card password as your girlfriend's birthday, or you will always change it.

The happiest thing: sleep until you wake up naturally. Count the money and count the cramps in your hands. The saddest thing: sleep until your hand cramps, and count the money until you wake up naturally.

Money can buy a house, but not a home; Marriage, but not love; Clock, but can't buy time. Money is not everything, but it is the root of pain.

Everyone wants to be different from others, and everyone is the same as a result.

When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror. When we are old, the mirror is flat.

A scholar dies as a confidant, and a woman is a lover of herself.

If being rich is also a mistake, I'd rather repeat it.

People are afraid of famous pigs and strong, men are afraid of having no money and women are afraid of being fat.

The effect of contraception: if you don't succeed, you will become a' person'.

Asking how sad you can be is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel.

Sleep is an art-no one can stop me from pursuing art.

If marriage is the grave of love, then I expect someone to bury me.

I am not a casual person. I'm not a person when I get up casually

To be a man, you must be a person who wanders between cow A and cow C.

You can go as far as you want.

Lie down where you fell.

Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

Lovers form families.

Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face …

A tree will die if it is not skinned; People are shameless and invincible in the world.

I will have a son named "handsome" in the future, so everyone will say "handsome dad" when they see me.

Work, take a step back, fall in love, take a step back, and people are empty.

The highest level of work is to watch others go to work and get their wages.

Money is not the problem, the problem is no money!

I was drunk and nobody obeyed, so I held the wall.

I am like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future, but I can't find a way out.

You know what, big brother? Second brother's meat is now more expensive than master's.

If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smarter, then you should eat at least a pair of whales. ...

Clear water means no fish, while lowly people are invincible.

Youth is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it's not enough.

Friends around you, get famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well.

A female classmate is darker and her boyfriend is whiter. One day, the poison queen in the dormitory suddenly said to her, "You can't do this, you will have zebras."

I always treat handsome guys and money like dirt, and they always treat me like this.

Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compete with you.

God said, let there be light, and I said I opposed it, so the world was dark.

My name is God, my nickname is Jesus, my English name is God, and my dharma name is Tathagata …

The farmer's three punches hurt a little.

In fact, I have always been very popular: I was loved by everyone when I was a child, and now I am loved by a bitch.

Not afraid of enemies like tigers, but afraid of teammates like pigs.

Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

Rats are looking for cats all over the street with knives.

As long as you work hard, shit is serious.

Who runs fastest? It's Cao Cao (not Liu Xiang). Because speaking of the devil.

Only when there is a long queue at the railway station can we truly realize that we are "descendants of the dragon".

When spring comes, a flock of geese fly north, forming a B-shape for a while and a T-shape for a while.

Tigers don't show off. You think I'm HELLOKITTY!

Donkey, yes, read it backwards and follow it.

The highest state of self-help: help the wall in, help the wall out.

No money, no power, no matter how good it is for you, can you come with me?

Take a newspaper to the toilet. I am a scholar.

Go to Google and Baidu to see.

Women must be kind to themselves. Once you are exhausted, other women will spend your money, live in your room, sleep with your husband and beat your baby!

Grandpa comes from his grandson. ...

You can go as far as you want!

No one has blown cowhide so fresh and refined for a long time!

Boss, is money really that important to you? You talked for more than three hours and didn't leave a penny behind?

When I woke up, it was dark.

If I become a personnel manager, the first thing I will do is to promote myself to the boss.

I am losing weight except eating every day. You say I have no perseverance?

I won't tell you if I kill you.

Any problem that money can solve is not a problem.

After studying for more than ten years, I think it's better to mix kindergartens!

Even believe in advertisements. Are you stupid in your studies?

How to lose weight if you don't have enough food?

The early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird.

God, my clothes have lost weight again!

Water can carry a boat and cook porridge.

Buying a computer without broadband is like becoming a monk without eating.

There is an old legend-people who can see beautiful women on XX campus will live forever.

Healthy and relaxed; Living is easy; Life is not easy.

My name in my girlfriend's mobile phone is "He". After breaking up, I became "it".

I am different from you because I am human.

I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk, so I am very simple.

God gave us youth and acne.

If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

Boys are poor, or don't know how to struggle, girls are rich, or they are coaxed away by a piece of cake.

Fate is responsible for shuffling cards, but it is ourselves who play cards!

Love is a kind of helplessness, being loved is a gesture, waiting for love is an expectation, and not loving is an ability.

The beauty of a woman lies in her unrepentant stupidity, and the beauty of a man lies in being a ghost every day.

Interesting quotation

1. People come and go saying that you two are crazy, but you have to say: our image spokesperson, Haier Brothers.

Look at your face, it's a pimple on your face, and it's also a rash with a mask during SARS.

A flock of geese fly south and jump west when they see your face. Look how scary your face is.

4. Ah, nothing, but I suddenly thought of you when I went to the grave on Qingming Day. So many people are dead, why don't you die?

I am surprised that a rare species like you should be listed as a national first-class protected animal and exhibited at the World Expo.

6. Maybe you can contribute to the study of exotic species in China.

7. You should be pulled out of the henhouse and put in jail at once!

8. Frankly speaking, you can set up a brothel.

9. I'm not perfect, but I naturally admit it. What about you?

10. If someone scolds you, say it and say it again! Say it again if you can. If he says it again, say it. That's cute. He will scold you if you say it. Say it again if you can. If he doesn't talk, you can say it, but you dare not. Don't be so arrogant in the future, and then you can go.

1 1. A new generation of washing powder, a new generation of people! A new generation of dog men and women do-love can't close the door! Why don't you close the door? There is a man outside the door! What are men like? Just like you!

12. It's not your fault to be ugly, it's your fault to run out and scare people!

13. Your mother is loved by everyone! ~! See you in the car! ~! ~ open the coffin when you see your mother!

14. Call you stupid, treat your vest as underpants, say you have a son, and treat your underpants as a vest! ! Haha ~ ~ absolutely a fool!

15. No matter what the other person says, you always answer that you have vegetables between your teeth.

16. If the other person says, nonsense, I didn't eat food today, you are surprised to say it was yesterday, and so on.

17. Because that is very common, if the other party speaks first. Funny quotations teach you to calm down and curse.

18. Look at the clothes you wear every day. Why don't you do something?

19. You are still pursuing fashionable hairstyles. Would you please look at your score of 38?

20. Nongfu Spring, which contains a bottle of its own tap water every day, still feels quite petty.

2 1. Said my man is a man with two legs, short of oil. It seems that your man is a three-legged toad.

22. Don't always live in Hibika. Your family is hungry. Go find Wang Cai next door.

23. You can say, do you want to eat? I can help you dig.

24. Don't always ask others why they don't want to talk to you, because it's too difficult for them to talk to you. Can you believe it?

I don't want to judge a book by its cover. I tried to see your soul. As a result, your soul is no more beautiful than your appearance.

26. Why didn't the country use your face to study bulletproof vests?

27. Excuse me, can I ask you for some faces? I don't think it matters if you have three layers outside your face.

28. If someone scolds you, you can say, I don't have a sister.

29. Did you treat dichlorvos as cola and let your head drink it at 80 cents and 12 Jin?

30. It's a pity that you don't go to the army. You are so ugly that more than half of you will die if you put it on the battlefield.

3 1. Even the nuclear bomb has been saved. If you had been born a few years earlier, there would not have been the Nanjing Massacre.

32. If I want to have a child, I must let you teach him, and I must teach him history. Look at your face, China will remember five thousand years.

Go home and look in the mirror and take a good look at yourself. How many onions are there on your head? If not, buy some and put them in your head. Play dumb.

Your parents are happy because of you, because you are too much like them, and you are not like a bought child.

35. You and your dad are standing on Qianmenlouzi Street in winter, with cigarettes in their mouths.

36. You are definitely your mother's own, otherwise how could your mother raise you such an asshole!

37. Do you want someone to hit me? Call out all the cats and dogs in your village.

38. Don't talk about her like that. She has a flower at the head of the village, but since she was a flower, cow dung has disappeared.

Don't swear easily, just put your mother in your pocket.

40. If the teacher hadn't said that littering was not allowed anywhere, I would have thrown you away.

4 1. This is also sustainable development, from this school to the present school.

42. Say I am jealous of you. Dry your tears and have a look.

43. I have nothing to show off in an ostentatious manner except that I am less shameless than you.

44. You mean your old mother has so many beautiful women? Do you feel good if your old mother hurts you? There are so many coquettish 13.

45. I want to talk to you about quality, but I can't stand you even if I endure shit and urine.

46. Do you deserve to talk about quality? Are you afraid of your mouth rotting? What are the skills of barking dogs? If you really bite me, it will be awesome.

47. Seeing you hanging out with men every day, who loves to watch you throw bones at you?

48. I think you are doing well now. Don't forget what kind of dog you were.

49. Seeing that you are getting weaker every day, I immediately understand what a young lady's body is like.

If you are educated by your mother, you will be taught how to stab others.