What is the complete version of Stephen Chow’s classic line in Tang Bohu Dian Qiuxiang? Who can recite it by themselves. Ha ha

Madam, the villain lives on the edge of Suzhou.

My family has a house and a field, and my life is full of joy.

Wow, the poster likes stars so much. Lord!

Who knew that Tang Bohu was so arrogant and ruthless?

Colluded with the government to occupy my big house and seize my land.

My grandfather fell out with him. , he beat her to the ground with a stick;

My grandma scolded him for deceiving good people, but he was caught in the Tang Mansion,

She was raped a hundred times, a hundred times. all over! In the end, she hanged herself from the beam and hated the world.

He also drove my father and son out of their home and lived on the river bank.

In order to support my father, I had to beg alone in front of the temple.

Who knew that Tang Bohu was so insidious.

Knowing this situation, he actually sent someone to plot against me and beat my father and son wildly in front of the market.

The little man is strong and strong, but his life is saved. Poor old father, his soul has passed away.

In order to bury his father, he had no choice but to sell himself as a slave and commit suicide.

While working hard to make money, he also read books.

Swore to show his fame with his own hands. The enemy is strong-willed!

From now on, with Tang Yin’s poetry collection by my side, I will keep this hatred in mind.

(Washington Garden at night)

Hua An:

Fortunately, I tried my best to protect my face.

My handsome appearance is To be saved,

I want to express my love to her tonight,

See if you, Qiuxiang, are passionate about me.

[Punched]

Hua An: Who hit me?

Pomegranate: She is my gorgeous sister who is admired by thousands of people.

Hua An: I have no grudge against you, why did you...

[Another punch]

Hua An: Why?

Pomegranate: Why? Because you deserve to be beaten. Everyone knows about you stealing paintings and having a crush on me. How do you want me to see people in the future? I might as well just die...

Hua An: I have no objection to that.

Pomegranate: Do you want to die together with me and become a pair of mandarin ducks with the same destiny? Damn, I'm not ready to accept your love yet.

Hua An: Sister Pomegranate, you are mistaken. In fact, I respect you as much as I respect my mother...

Pomegranate: Oh my God, you actually fell in love with your mother? ! Such a rebellious and unscrupulous thing - it's really exciting.

Hua An: Huh? !

Pomegranate: Come on, come on, I have never tried anything so exciting...

Hua An: Sister Pomegranate, what are you doing...

[Will Sister Pomegranate pushed away, and Pomegranate lay on the ground]

Pomegranate: Don’t pity me because I am a delicate flower, come on...

[Pomegranate was stepped on and passed out. ]

Thief A: It’s so unfortunate to see something so disgusting when you first come here.

Thief B: I heard that all the four fragrances of spring, summer, autumn and winter are as beautiful as flowers, especially the autumn fragrance, which kills people!

Thief B: Of course Qiuxiang will be given to the eldest brother.

Thief A: Brother, what should we do about this? Kill him?

The thief boss: Hey, these couple are kindred spirits. Let’s just beat them unconscious.

Hua An: Wait, if I guess correctly, the four of them are the four famous prostitutes in Jiangnan.

Four thieves: Exactly, we are just having sex in the east, west, south and north.

Hua An: Oops, little brother, I am the jade tree that beats Pan An in the wind, and the pear blossom crushes the begonia, the little worm Zhou Botong.

Thief A: Never heard of it...

Thief Boss: Hey, this guy even dares to get into this kind of thing, he deserves the title of little nymphomaniac.

Hua An: Small case, no matter how bad it is, I have played it.

The thief boss: Oh, then I should call you big brother.

Hua An: I don’t think so. I heard that the four eldest brothers want to go in to play with Qiuxiang, so let the younger brother lead the way.

Thief boss: What, you want to come for a second wave?

Hua An: Haha.

The thief boss: You should be the first.

The thief boss: Wipe the soles of your shoes clean, don’t leave any footprints...

[Walk past Pomegranate one by one]

Mr.: Hum, eh ? Hua Wen, Hua Wu, what are you two kneeling on the ground for?

Hua Wen Hua Wu: We are worshiping our eldest brother!

Sir: How can you, a mere book boy, He De, become a big brother?

Tang Bohu: I am so immoral and incompetent that I was just joking. I hope the teacher will forgive me!

Hua Wen and Hua Wu: No, Hua An, we are determined to follow you!

Sir: Young man, you are trying to steal your job from me. Which path are you from?

Tang Bohu: I haven’t asked for advice yet——

Sir: Please teach me.

Tang Bohu: Ask first and then teach.

Sir: After teaching, please come first.

Tang Bohu: Ask first and teach first.

Sir: Teach later and ask first.

Tang Bohu: Besides, I have to teach?

Mr.: Huh? No teaching is allowed. I am originally from Sanshui, but now I am from Xibao, the first resident of Washington. I hold a white paper fan in my hand! Which unit are you from?

Tang Bohu: I am originally from Suzhou, and now I am a reading boy in Washington. I have a pair of red sticks with double flowers in front of my door!

Sir: Bah! Are you older than me?

(The old gentleman took off his shirt, revealing his tattoo)

Everyone: Huh?

Sir: I have a green dragon on my left, a white tiger on my right, an old ox on my waist, and a dragon head on my chest. If someone blocks me, I will kill someone, and if I block Buddha, I will kill Buddha!

(The gentleman pulled out a machete from his waist and jumped behind the door)

Master: Hua Wen, Hua Wu!

(Master Hua pushed in the door and killed the teacher just in time

Zhu Zhishan: Ah, Brother Tang!

Tang Bohu: Ah, Brother Zhu!

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Zhu Zhishan: Brother Tang, help!

Tang Bohu: Oh, it seems that Brother Zhu must have lost cleanly in the casino again!

Zhu Zhishan: Health! My parents know me, Brother Tang!

Tang Bohu: Among the four great talents in the south of the Yangtze River, Brother Zhu is the most free and easy-going person. Everyone knows that when the wind blows away the egg shells, people will be happy. This is your motto, Brother Zhu, isn’t it?

Zhu Zhishan: Prizes are given, but compared to Brother Tang’s uninhibited style, I can’t compare with him.

Tang Bohu: Hahahaha, only. However, Brother Zhu, you lose a few hundred taels every few days, and when you lose all, you come to call for help. This is not the way to do it, right?

Zhu Zhishan: I have insight, I just have a view. Therefore, this time I lost everything I could lose in my life, a total of three hundred thousand taels. I hope Brother Tang will paint thirty paintings for me and let me... pay off my debt and save my life!

Tang Bohu! : Got it, Ah Shui, please go out first!

Servant: Yes, Master!

Tang Bohu: Bastard, do you want thirty paintings? Painting? No need to talk about it!

Zhu Zhishan: Don’t be like this. It’s all my fault. I’ll kowtow and admit my mistake now.

Don't you just think that I'm lending you a jade futon for fun, but also think about the fact that I've made a lot of money selling your paintings in the past few years! Now the brothers outside are saying that if I don’t get thirty paintings after three sticks of incense, they will cut me into pieces! Please help me!

Tang Bohu: Three incense sticks? Don't say that your brother doesn't take care of you. I will definitely write an elegiac couplet for you in your mourning hall. One of them is that you deserve to die, and the other that you die is not pity. You choose it yourself!

Zhu Zhishan: Bohu, please stop being so awesome, okay? At worst, I swear a vicious oath. If I gamble again in the future, I will let the ugliest woman in the world have sex every night until she is completely naked and crumbling! Is this okay?

Tang Bohu: Huh? Can you even utter such a tragic oath? OK, I'll help you again! Come, the Four Treasures of the Study will be waiting for you!

(In front of the West Gate of Washington, Tang Bohu and the boatman are pushing a wooden cart)

Tang Bohu: Hey~~~The show is about to start. I’ll beat you to death and you can’t move.

Boatman: You said all the money from the sale should be given to me, no cheating.

Tang Bohu: With your wisdom, can I fool you?

Boatman: That’s true.

(The boatman lay in the car pretending to be dead)

Neighbors, come quickly, the newly minted dutiful son is afraid of selling, so come and take a look even if he doesn’t sell!

(Qiu Xiang and the Washington maid Sister Pomegranate go out)

Sister Pomegranate: This little brother came here early in the morning to sell his body to bury his father. Isn’t it too unlucky?

Tang Bohu: I don’t want to either.

Qiuxiang: We have met somewhere, right? You look nice and kind.

Tang Bohu: It is said that we have known each other before we met. Please have mercy on me, two sisters!

Sister Pomegranate: It’s so miserable! We happen to be short of a servant, I think -

(At this time, another one came, pushing a wooden cart, with six dead people on the cart. This man was vomiting blood, extremely miserable!)

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Misery: I am so miserable, I sold myself to bury my whole family!

Tang Bohu: No way? !

Poor person: You two girls, have mercy on me. All six of my family died in one night. I am infected with tenth grade tuberculosis.

Half for sale and half for free, just buy it from me.

Qiuxiang: Oh, Pomegranate, you see how pitiful he is, let’s buy him back to Washington, okay?

Sister Pomegranate: (crying) Then buy him.

Tang Bohu: Sister, I came first.

Qiuxiang: Isn’t this a matter of first-come-first-served basis?

Sister Pomegranate: Yes, six people died in my family, and only one died in your family. I also want to help you, but I'm really in a dilemma.

Tang Bohu: But I am miserable too?

Sister Pomegranate: If you have anything worse than him, tell me quickly.

Tang Bohu: I...I...this...this..., look, I haven't cut my nails in the past few days, they are full of black mud

Isn't this enough? Is it miserable?

(Bieren’s puppy died suddenly)

Bieren: (crying bitterly) Wangcai...Wangcai...Wangcai, you can’t die, Wangcai, you followed. For so many years, I have been kind and loyal to me, and treated me with sincerity, but now I haven't even given you a full meal. I'm sorry for you.

Prosperous wealth!

(Tang Bohu saw a cockroach and shouted "Be careful!" Sister Pomegranate stepped back and trampled the cockroach to death.)

Tang Bohu: (distraught) Xiaoqiang! Xiaoqiang, what's wrong with you, Xiaoqiang? Xiaoqiang, you can't die! You and I have been dependent on each other

for so many years. We have been teaching you and raising you as if you were our own flesh and blood. I never thought that today, I would give you away for free

Black-haired man!

Sister Pomegranate: Sister Qiuxiang, they are both so miserable, what should I do?

Qiuxiang: Take a look and then talk.

Sister Pomegranate: Oh.

The miserable person: Damn it! (Walking to Tang Bohu, the two confront each other) Brother, please stop making trouble.

Look how clean you are.

Go in and put on makeup before you come back. Look at me, I'm dead, my hands are full of sores, how can you be worse than me?

Tang Bohu: Don’t compare with me. I can’t bear it!

Miscellaneous: So what if I compare with you?

Tang Bohu: Aren’t you forcing me?

Misery: Can you be more miserable than me?

(Tang Bohu picked up a stick and broke his arm)

Tang Bohu: You said your hands are full of sores. Now my whole hand is broken, who can compare with me? Who is miserable!

Miserable: Are you having too much fun? !

Tang Bohu: I am having sex with you today!

Miscellaneous: I will play with you to the end! Damn it, come on! (He smashed his own head with a stick, bleeding profusely) Want to play with me?

Want to play with me? I don't even care about my life, let's see how you compare with me! Who dares to be worse than me? ! (Fell to the ground and died

)

Tang Bohu: Good boy, it’s a shame for you, we’ll meet again later!

Sister Pomegranate: That person is dead, so I can only buy you!

Tang Bohu: Really?

Sister Pomegranate: Yes!

Tang Bohu: Then you can add another five taels.

Sister Pomegranate: You are raising your price from the ground up!

Tang Bohu: No, I want to bury this man.

Sister Pomegranate: He is such a good person, just buy him. (Take out the silver)

Qiuxiang: Hey, pomegranate, just buy it if you want! We have to go in and ask the lady first before we can decide. Come back tomorrow

Sister Pomegranate: I’ll ask.

Tang Bohu: Sister Qiuxiang, thank you for your hard work!

(Qiuxiang looked back and smiled three times at Tang Bohu when she entered)

Tang Bohu: Start teasing me now. Mother! I succeeded