Why did you come here?

Colleague Xiao Zhang fell in love with a very nice girl. The girl is tall, fair-skinned, with long hair fluttering and gentle.

However, this relationship was strongly opposed by Xiao Zhang's parents.

It turned out that when she was in high school, the girl had a big car accident, which caused her left calf to be not very bright and she was a little lame, but it was obvious.

"Although we are not rich, we are also face-saving people. If you marry a lame daughter-in-law, you will be laughed at by others! " Xiao Zhang's parents are firmly opposed.

Xiao Zhang defended: "She went into the hall and went out of the kitchen. She works actively and is kind. Will you not let her go because of a little problem in her leg? " I can accept anyone who is perfect. What's more real than you? "

Xiao Zhang's mother said, "To be honest, we can accept the girl's looks and head portrait, but what will others think?" People will look down on us when they know that we have found a lame wife! "

In this way, the two sides were deadlocked for a long time and had many troubles. Xiao Zhang still changed his parents' original intention. Finally, Xiao Zhang even wanted to fly away with the girl regardless, but his mother cut her wrist with a knife and forced her to die, and his father threatened to sever the relationship between father and son.

Finally, Xiao Zhang gave in and broke up with that girl. I didn't fall in love for the next three years.

At the age of 30, Xiao Zhang finally has a girlfriend again. When it was time to get married, the girl's parents asked for a bride price of120 thousand.

Although Xiao Zhang's family is average, Xiao Zhang's parents agreed to make his face swollen and fat. But the reality is cruel. At that time, they borrowed it from relatives and friends in order to buy the wedding room in full. Now they want a bride price. Where can they borrow it? In the end, the marriage fell through.

In this way, three years later, Xiao Zhang is still alone.

Whether his parents go out or attend a friend's wedding, words like "Has your son found a girlfriend" and "When can I hold your son's wedding banquet" keep ringing in his ears. This makes parents who are already very face-saving, angry, but helpless. When you get home, you can only scold your son for failing to live up to expectations and urge him to find a girlfriend quickly, or even "go back to before liberation overnight" and lower the standard like a doctor: even if the woman is a little like your original girlfriend.

Xiao Zhang's mood, depressed to the extreme, even once borrowed wine to drown his sorrows.

There is a sadder story.

In my hometown, there is an old man in his early sixties, Liu. He not only loves face, but also is quite stubborn.

His daughter Lan Xiang's marriage is very unhappy, and her husband is a gambler turned alcoholic. I often lose money by gambling, and then I go to drown my sorrows and get drunk. At home, if spearmint can't help talking to him, it is common to be punched and kicked. Almost alone, spearmint undertakes the housework at home, the farm work in the field and the care of two children. In his early thirties, he worked hard all day, and his face was full of endless vicissitudes.

Lan Xiang couldn't help asking for a divorce several times, but Liu Laohan flatly stopped her: "We have no precedent for divorce. If I get divorced, where will my old face go? "

The helpless spearmint can only live in Lacrimosa all day, hoping that her husband can turn back one day.

But spearmint soon changed from disappointment to despair. It turns out that a person is an asshole and can do anything. He gambles and drinks. By chance, spearmint found out that he was still having an affair outside. It can be said that everything has been taken up by him.

Lan Xiang once again asked for a divorce, but Liu Laohan still had a tough attitude: "The children are so big, divorced, and my dad's face is not put aside!"

Despair to numbness, spearmint finally chose to drink pesticides to commit suicide, because it was not found in time and could not be rescued. Spearmint has completely left this tired world and got rid of it.

Liu Laohan burst into tears when he saw his daughter's cold body. I wonder if there is a sense of remorse and guilt in these tears?

I have to say, influenced by Confucius and Mencius, most people in China save face, which is understandable. However, it is unacceptable that some people's pursuit of face has even reached an outrageous level.

Some students at school, in order to buy the popular iPhone, do not hesitate to change their kidneys.

The brothers who ate together, in order to compete for the bill and show off their good life, actually came to blows, and even fought.

Some people, in order to save face, know that there are mistakes but never repent and stubbornly support them, turning small mistakes into irreparable mistakes.

From inviting guests to dinner to getting married, "face" has become a big measure.

If it is understandable and harmless to brag and tell a little lie and spend more money on a luxury item for the sake of face, then we still put face first in life events. As a necessary consideration, we would rather give up the pursuit of a happy life at our fingertips and take care of our face. This is foolish and not worth the candle.

Live for face, die for face, and ruin your life for face. This price is too high. No matter who you are, you'd better think twice before you act.

Maybe we are proud because we are afraid. Fear of jokes, fear of being looked down upon, fear of being pointed at behind.

Or because of expectation. Looking forward to being respected, looking forward to being worshipped by everyone, looking forward to getting what others call "you are awesome".

It is said that "people want face, trees want skin". It is normal for us to want face, but there is a limit to everything. Once we cross it, we will take face seriously, and everything will be centered on it, then your life tragedy will probably begin.

Money is a thing apart, so is face! It is a big burden in people's hearts, and it is an invisible shackle that they put on themselves. The more you care, the heavier it will be, and the tighter you will be bound.

If you always sacrifice the lining for the sake of face, it will be swollen and fat. I can't think of any other "effect" or even worse except a tragic end of pride and pain.

If you think about it carefully, you will find that the face you are striving for really means little to you. Moreover, the face of this thing, chasing does not mean that it really belongs to you. Remember: face is not given by others, but earned by yourself.

And when you learn to distinguish and let go of the unnecessary pursuit of face, your life will be much smoother and your mood will be extremely beautiful.

You don't have to be afraid of other people's eyes and hesitate to struggle, let alone stop to pursue that meaningless face. What happened when you strutted forward and said, "Whatever, I live for myself"?