Funny homophonic jokes hurt the stomach.

Funny homophonic jokes hurt the stomach.

After laughing for ten years, sometimes telling serious jokes is not funny, but a cold joke can make you laugh for a long time. Have you ever had such an experience? Now, let's have a good laugh!

Funny homophonic jokes hurt your stomach 1 1. There is a chance.

A commodity salesman went to Guangzhou on business. After arriving in Beijing, he wants to go there by plane. Afraid that the manager wouldn't agree to the reimbursement, he sent a telegram to the manager: "Take it when you have the chance, or don't take it." The manager received the telegram and thought it was an "opportunity" to close the deal. He immediately called back: "Seize the opportunity."

The salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, and the manager refused to reimburse the air ticket expenses on the grounds that he was not qualified to fly. The salesman took out his manager's call back and the manager was dumbfounded.

2. Geographical names

On New Year's Eve, my brother took two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One is cheerful and the other is more formal.

During the dinner, the cheerful classmate smiled and said to us, "He is from Myanmar, so he is shy." Then raise your glass to toast everyone, raise your head and drink it off, and then say, "I'm from Yangon."

3. The headmaster is angry

At the school affairs meeting at the end of the semester, the headmaster was furious at the inefficiency of personnel management. He said, "the person in charge of the director's business is not sensible; The consciousness of personnel management is not strong; Not an official! "

4. Test scores

In the middle school class, the teacher of the course of socialist economic theory (hereinafter referred to as social economics) is angrily reading out the exam results: this time, everyone failed in the exam. Obviously, you didn't spend your energy on social economics. In fact, social economics is a very simple course, and efforts will bear fruit. . . . . Look at the following results: Yang Wei failed in social economics. . . . .

learn English

Xiaoming, who likes learning English, is looking for opportunities to speak English day and night.

On this day, he walked into a foreigner by accident. He said shyly, "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too." The foreigner replied.

"I'm sorry for three." Xiao Ming answered at once.

"What are you sorry for? "Asked the foreigner.

"I'm sorry five? Xiao Ming said.

Funny homophonic jokes hurt the stomach. Can you tell me what Jing Yue is about?

I took China Ancient Literature as an elective course. In my first class, the teacher talked about Confucianism, main figures and representative works, including? Four books? 、? Five classics? . A few minutes before class, the teacher asked the students to ask questions freely. A girl in the front row stood up and asked? I read some books about Jing Yue. Can you tell me what Jing Yue is about? . There was a burst of laughter in the classroom.

Today is a big day for two students.

When I joined the league at school, it was just me and another girl. When we were hosted by the Communist Youth League Secretary, we said without hesitation. Today is a big day for two students, and the rest of them are laughing their heads off.

How much is a night's sleep (bowl) in jiaozi?

Lao Dong, a native of Henan, came to the south for breakfast. As soon as I entered the door, I asked, Miss, how much is it to sleep (bowl) in jiaozi for one night?

The waiter was very unhappy and said, no, just steamed bread. ?

Old Dong said:? Oh, just touch (the bun). ?

The waiter was so angry that he scolded: rogue! ?

Lao Dong was extremely surprised: sixty cents? It's too cheap! ?

Trust me if you can. Let me see how long you are.

Once, two girls came to our dormitory to play with tractors. A group of two girls, a group of five elder brothers and me. Girls always stink, but they are lucky. They won a few hands and began to smile. Finally, once it was the fifth person's turn to sit in the village. They showed the hearts as their owners, and I turned them into squares. At this time, I saw the fifth man strike the table and said excitedly, finally there is one! Drag them out first, and then take care of them slowly! ? . At this time, a girl persistently said: if you have the ability, you can entrust it! I want to see how long you are! ?

Eat a kilo

The teacher asked Xiaoming to use it? Eat a catty? Make sentences.

Xiao Ming said: I was walking on the road and saw a pile of cow dung. Be startled (by a kilo).

Teacher's praise: massive, massive

There is only one channel.

The boss of the dormitory has a new girlfriend, who gave him a new walkman. Boss said to himself while reading the instructions: anywhere except one channel! ? . The third child watched martial arts in the upper bunk and asked, Isn't one enough? . The boss said: I want to have an extra channel to connect to the computer. ?

4600 yuan for a sexual intercourse

At the beginning of the new semester, several students in my dormitory and I went to the department to pay tuition. A notice was posted at the door of the department office: this year, a unified fee will be imposed, and sexual intercourse will cost 4,600 yuan, and no accommodation fee will be charged.

How much is it to sleep in jiaozi?

One day I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi with a foreign friend, and a beautiful waitress came to ask.

Friends always miss any opportunity to practice Chinese and rush to speak? Sleep (jiaozi)? how much is it?

The young lady was embarrassed and angry. I quickly explained that he was asking jiaozi how much.

Jiaozi served it, and I asked him if he wanted mustard.

He invited another young lady, didn't he? Program? Huh?

Miss said brightly,? Yes, what kind of program do you want?

? It's yellow. ...

Zazie Hoko

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