Specially subtle humorous jokes in 2018

Humorous jokes cater to people’s orientation to a certain extent and are very popular in life. I wonder what humorous jokes you have seen that impressed you? The following is what I have compiled for you. A subtle humorous joke, I hope you all like it.

Excerpts of implicit humorous jokes

1. Mary: I saw you and your husband working on something out of the window last night, and you didn’t even close the curtains! Jones: I stayed at my parents’ house last night!

2. Xiao Wang couldn’t wait to take out the dick in the phone booth and started masturbating. When Xiao Wang was about to leave, he walked into a street administrator. She looked at the ground and said seriously: Comrade, you spit everywhere, you will be fined five yuan!

3. Girl J in front of her house Hanging a pair of Spring Festival couplets: business is booming, bed boards are noisy, and wealth is flowing into loose pants.

4. In a rage, the man said: I can’t scold you, you have two mouths open up and down! The woman leisurely said: How can you be more powerful, with one mouth on top and a microphone on the bottom with two A surrounding! A thumping sound in the street?

5. The mother and daughter visited the painting exhibition of their daughter’s boyfriend. The mother noticed that one of the nude portraits resembled her daughter, and asked, "Did you not paint him naked?" Daughter: No, he drew it from memory.

6. A certain father placed his daughter’s erotic vibrator on the wine table and drank alone. Daughter: Why are you tampering with my things? Father: I am bored drinking alone, so I specially invited my son-in-law to drink.

7. Late at night, the child does not sleep. The man then said to the child: Your mother's belly is fun, go and try it. The child climbed up and played for a while, but found it boring. His father said, "Isn't it fun? I'll try it too."

8. A couple wants to see how other people live as husband and wife. The woman went to take a peek in person. When I saw someone playing with me and took off the condom, I ran home and told my husband: She did it so hard that even a layer of skin was taken off!

9. On the wedding night, the groom soon entered the bridal chamber and fell asleep. He was taken out to the emergency room. Bride: He asked me to eat. I thought it would be impolite to eat with my hands, so I went to the kitchen to get a knife and fork?

10. My wife wore a sexy crotchless underwear and displayed it in the bedroom. I wanted to surprise my husband by striking a sexy pose. Husband: I told you a long time ago that you should lose weight. Look, your underwear is bursting!

11. A man was buried under the sand enjoying a sand bath. Soon three beauties came here to change into swimming suits. The man I was so excited that I suddenly heard a beautiful woman shouting: "Ah! Come and see, there are wild things like this too." ?

12. A bachelor met a good friend on the street. The friend asked him: What has he been busy with recently? The bachelor said: Nothing to do during the day, nothing to do at night. The friend was puzzled after hearing this, and the bachelor explained: It is extremely painful.

13. Xiao Li: I went to the park with her that night and wanted to do that, but she insisted on wearing a condom. You said how could I be prepared? Then I saw one on the grass, so I picked it up, turned it over and put it on. The result? She was pregnant, not mine.

14. The primary school student liked the teacher, so he told the teacher: I love you! Teacher: I don’t like children. Elementary school student: I will be careful, there will be no children.

15. There was an old maid who was very disappointed and wanted to commit suicide. One day she jumped from a tall building and fell into a banana truck. She thought she was in heaven, so she shouted to the banana truck full of bananas: "Don't worry." , come one by one.

16. A tough man was riding the bus home. The kind-hearted female conductor saw that his zipper was not closed and reminded him: Comrade, your gun is not placed properly, be careful of misfire. The macho man smiled and said: It doesn't matter, the bullets have just been fired.

17. The prostitute told the police that she did not engage in prostitution: I just sold him condoms in US dollars, and I was teaching him how to use them just now.

18. My son was about to get married, but he didn’t know how to perform the Zhougong etiquette, so he asked his father what to do. The father said vaguely: "When the time comes, you will be on top and she will be on the bottom." On the wedding night , the bride saw that the new bed had been changed into bunk beds, and angrily locked the door to prevent the groom from entering.

The son shouted at the door: "Dad! I can't get in!" The father replied: "Harder!" The son then pushed hard, and the skin on his knee was broken and bleeding. He couldn't help shouting: "Ah! It's bleeding!" He only listened to his father. He said calmly in the room: ?This is right!?

19. Two corn kernels got married. The next morning, the male corn kernel woke up and found popcorn lying next to him. He felt strange Question: Hey, who are you? Where is my wife? Popcorn said shyly: I can’t recognize her anymore because I destroyed her with one shot.

20. I went to work during the day and painted the walls all day. When I got home at night, I heard the girl’s gasping and moaning next door. I really couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t bear it anymore for three consecutive days, so I told the landlord. After hearing this, the landlord said that there was a girl living next door. Damn, can’t sleep at all?

A particularly subtle humorous joke

1. On Women’s Day, an old professor gave a lecture on the theme of “Caring for Women.” But his report was long and boring, and the women in the audience quietly left the room in twos and threes without the professor noticing. The assistant reminded the professor: "They are all gone!" The professor sternly reprimanded: "Please respect female friends." Even if they accidentally leak, we can't look at it!

2. It is said that a certain lady bought a female parrot on a whim. Unexpectedly, when I brought it home, the first thing it said was: "Do you want to go to bed with me?" When the lady heard this, she thought to herself: That's bad, outsiders think this is what I taught you. This doesn't reflect my image as a lady. It's all ruined. So she tried her best to make the parrot say something elegant, but the female parrot was determined and could only say one sentence: "Do you want to go to bed with me? What should I do?" When the lady lost her When I was arguing, I heard that the priest also had a male parrot. Not only did the parrot not use foul language, but he was a devout Christian and spent most of his time praying every day. So the woman went to the priest for help. After the priest understood her purpose, he said with a slightly troubled expression: "This is difficult to handle. In fact, the parrot didn't teach it anything deliberately. The reason why it is so pious may be that it has been nurtured here for a long time." For the sake of it. Seeing that the lady was disappointed, the priest said: "Well, you bring the parrot to me, and I will put them together." I hope that after some time, your parrot will be converted. I can only do this. Whether it has any effect depends on God's will. When the lady heard this, she could only do this. Isn't there a saying: Those who are close to the vermilion will be red? Give it a try. So she took the parrot to the priest. The priest kept the two parrots together as promised. The female parrot was a little reserved at first. Seeing the male parrot praying silently in a corner of the cage, she really couldn't bear to disturb him. But she still couldn't control herself, and finally said loudly: "Do you want to go to bed with me?" When the male parrot heard this, he stopped praying, turned around and looked at the female parrot, and suddenly burst into tears: "Thank God, I prayed like this." Years of wish finally came true

3. I was completely stunned by the two quarrels in the car. Woman: Who the hell are you touching? Man: Who the hell is touching you! Woman After saying a very lethal sentence, all the people in the car were holding back their internal injuries: How fucking shameless are you! You touch me when I look like this! I really want to laugh, but I don’t dare!

< p>　4. Instead of studying hard in class and being sleepy until death, it is better to stay in bed and live happily. The abbreviation is? It is better to die than to live. ?

5. One winter it was extremely cold, and my wife and I went to the park to play one weekend. I saw many people skating on the ice of the lake, so I invited my wife to skate with me, but my wife didn't dare. In order to prove the solidity of the ice, I took the lead and ran to the ice to play around. It made my wife feel itchy, and she finally got the idea to give it a try. I went from the center of the lake to the shore to pick her up. When I was still about one meter away from the shore, in order to further prove that there was no danger, I jumped up. As a result, I just heard a "pop" sound and fell into the ice hole. Fortunately, the water on the shore was shallow and the water only reached my waist. My wife screamed in fear and almost cried. It took a lot of effort for me to get out of the mud. After making sure that I was fine, my wife asked me seriously: "Is my little brother not frozen?" I endured the severe cold and nodded vigorously: "Alright?" Okay, the little thing is a polar bear!? Hiss~ I feel cold just thinking about it now!

6. Every time I have sex with my husband, the time is very short. After it’s over, my husband says righteously: No. I'm fast. It's when you enjoy it too much that you feel that time is short. This is Einstein's theory of relativity.

Me: Get lost!

7. Female: Do you miss me? Male: Yes, how could you not? Female: Have you always wanted to? Male: Straight or not.

8. The mother-in-law at home is so fierce! She wants a divorce every day! Today, she was dragging her to the Civil Affairs Bureau and ran into her ex-girlfriend. Just when she was embarrassed and embarrassed, her wife suddenly changed her with a bang. Xi Lu burst into tears: Please! Don’t leave me! I don’t want a cent of the five million! I’ll do all the housework! You can have as many mistresses as you want!

9. A The landowner found a wife for his teenage child. Since the young groom was too young and did not understand human affairs, the father took care of everything. This embarrassed the daughter-in-law, so she cried to her mother-in-law. After hearing this, her mother-in-law said bitterly: "This damn man has the same virtue as his father." ?

10. Woman: ?I formally warn you that my husband will be back in an hour. Man: But I didn’t do anything rude. ?Female: ?I know. If you want to do something, you have less than an hour left.

11. When I went to the toilet, I heard a naughty child shouting from outside: "Mom! Mom! Did you poop or wet your pants? It's too slow!" Who knew what this naughty child's mother was saying? :?Don’t shout! Your aunt and grandma are here!?

12. The young couple quarreled. The boy was unhappy. The girl said to the unhappy boy: "Don't be angry. These little things make you unhappy. Why don't you smile?" The boy didn't speak. The girl thought for a while and said: "I'll use one hand to make you happy." ?? The boy shook his head, and the girl said: "Well, how about I use my two hands to make you happy?" The boy thought about it for a while, but shook his head. The girl thought about it and said seriously: "Then I will use my two hands to make you happy." With one hand and my tongue, can you do something that makes you happy? This time the boy nodded excitedly and said happily: Okay! Okay! Okay! So the girl stood up straight. body, put his hands on his cheeks, stuck out his tongue, and made a face at the boy?

13. Today, the WeChat group said that we were going to have a party, and we excitedly signed up. The rules are still the same: Male A Female exemption. I went there relatively late and everyone else had already started eating. When I walked into the box, there was applause from all around. Then a sweet soprano shouted: "Finally a man has arrived." ?At that time, I suddenly thought, "Sorry, I went to the wrong room!"

14. The twenty yuan pocket money my wife gave me last week has been used up! I want to buy some decent cigarettes for my friend's party today. No money either. At this time, the son and his wife said: Mom has to pay fifty yuan for school today. The daughter-in-law gave the money to her son without saying anything. After my wife went out, my son gave me the money and said: This is considered a loan from me. You will have to help me when I am in trouble after my marriage. Looking at my son's back, I sighed that I am a dear child.

15. The day before the wedding, the father Yin Yin warned his daughter who was about to get married: "Daughter! Marriage is sacred. You must not ignore the beauty of the other person's appearance because of his inner beauty." Ah! After hearing this, my daughter said shyly: Dad, don’t worry, I have seen his insides several times.

16. Have you ever seen a duck being killed? The duck’s eyes couldn’t be looked at when its throat was cut and blood was bled. It was so cruel. When I was a child, my father killed a duck once. I asked him if I could let it go. As a result, my dad told me to get out of here! I scolded my dad and ran back to the house sadly. During dinner, I asked my dad where the duck was. He said he would not kill him to take care of my feelings. That was the most profound memory of my vegetarian diet. For dinner, the next day I sharpened my knife and walked towards the duck pen. My family couldn’t stop me!

17. ?What’s wrong with your face? My wife slapped me. ?Then her face turned red because it was almost Chinese New Year. She said it was for good luck, so there was a double ring!?

18. MM was visiting the mall and saw the waiter selling a new kind of doll. Just shout: "Huh!" and it can move its left leg. Shout: ?Ah!? It will move its right leg. MM thought it was quite fun, so she bought one. As a result, that night, the puppet ran away from home!

19. Late at night, while the owner was sleeping, various organs held a short meeting under the auspices of the brain.

The heart said first: "I want to retire. My master lacks exercise and his brain is full of fat, which makes me suffer from high blood pressure and myocardial infarction. Before I can finish my words, my stomach rushes to speak: "I also want to retire. My master eats and drinks with public funds every day, and the pangolins eat foreign and national wines in the morning." It made me overwhelmed, and I was already in the advanced stage of gastric cancer. Then a weak voice came from below: "I also want to retire." My brain asked loudly: "Who is it? Please stand up and speak loudly!" If I can still stand up, then I won't have to retire. ?A more feeble answer?

20. The fortune teller said to the lady: You have a bad omen! After hearing this, the lady became anxious and said: Then can I take off the bra? The fortune teller replied: : No, as soon as you get rid of the bad omen, there will be two big waves in your life!

Collection of implicit humorous jokes

1. Who is the most pitiful person in the world? Answer: Soldiers from the artillery company's cooking squad! Question: Why? Answer: A cuckold takes the blame and watches others having sex.

2. There was a man who went to see a doctor and told the doctor that I had been feeling a little uncomfortable all my life. It hurts a little. The doctor said, take off your pants and let me check you out. The man said, "Doctor, I'm shy and my body is quite small." The doctor said, don't be shy, I won't laugh at you. The man took off his pants. The doctor took a look and said, "Well, it's very small, as big as a peanut. What's wrong with it?" The man blushed and said, "It is." Is it swollen?

3. The father took his son to take a bath. The floor was very slippery. When the son was about to slip, he grabbed his father's genitals to keep him from falling. My father scolded me, you're lucky you came with me, I would have killed you if you came with your mother!

4. A certain man's wife was very unhappy after she had not had sex for a long time. One day he asked his wife to take off her clothes and stand upside down in front of a mirror, and she was overjoyed to do so. He spread his wife's legs, put his chin on her vagina and asked her: "Does it look good on me with a beard?" 5. On the first day after taking office, the county magistrate visited the poor to inquire about their sufferings and saw an old man who was pitiful. , gave him one hundred yuan, and the old man thanked him profusely. The county magistrate said: You're welcome, I am the son of the people, and also your son! The old man's beautiful daughter-in-law smiled beside him: Xiong, you think so well!

6. The host asked: Cat Can he climb a tree? The eagle answered: Yes! Moderator: Give an example! The eagle was in tears: That year, when I was asleep, the cat climbed the tree, and then there was an owl?

7. Contraception The condom said to the sanitary napkin: Sister, please don’t go to work. Once you go to work, I will have no business for seven days! The sanitary napkin said to the condom: Brother, just be satisfied. If you leak, I will have no business for ten months. Work!

8. A pervert made a very indecent gesture to a beautiful girl in our class at the dinner table---the middle finger gesture. The girl didn't change her expression and said something very calmly: short and thin!

9. A French explorer lost his way in the desert and was on the verge of death when he suddenly saw a The fairy came slowly, and the explorer hurriedly shouted, "Fairy, please save me! I haven't drank water for three days!" The fairy thought for a while. She frowned, then backed away, and soon brought a cup of cranberries to the explorer. After finishing the drink, the explorer said, "I want another cup." The fairy sighed and said, "No, it will be next time." "

10. Ni Ping was a guest in Mengcheng. The dish was very delicious. What was it? Feng Gong said it was on the cattle! The cattle said it was on Feng Gong. Yes! Ni Ping asked: Do I have it? They both answered: Sometimes you have it, sometimes you don’t.