Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Classical Chinese enlightenment teacher
Classical Chinese enlightenment teacher
Li is by his side as his painter. After a long time, he began to be good at painting, especially horses, almost like Li. Jian Yan years, fell into the hands of the nomads from the army.
Jinbing heard that he was good at drawing, so he took the woman away. Zhao Guang resolutely refused to paint, nomads from the knife threat, failed, and cut off his right thumb.
Zhao Guang actually draws with his left hand. After the situation calmed down, Zhao Guang only painted Guanyin tuas.
A few years later, he died, and most of Li's Guanyin paintings were written. Puppy: In villager Zhao's home, the bitch gave birth to a cub. Only two months later, she walked with the bitch and was bitten by a tiger.
Zhao shouted at the nearby brave men and chased them with spears. The dog ran to bite the tiger's tail, and the tiger followed.
The puppy was caught in the chest by thorns, and its fur was almost smooth, and it still refused to let go. Because the dog was slow, the tiger was caught up by everyone and died by the sword.
During the Kangxi period of the Qing Dynasty, a man used a box to play rubbings. There is a little man hidden in the box. The little man is about a foot tall. Someone put money in the box, and the magician opened the box and let the villain sing.
After singing, the villain returned to the box. When the magician arrives at the palace, the person in charge of the palace will give the box to the magician, take it to the office, and carefully ask where the young people in the box are from.
The villain was afraid to say at first. The person in charge asked again and again, and the young man told himself where he came from and which family he belonged to.
It turned out that this little man was a primary school student. After he came back from the private school teacher, he was anesthetized by the magician. The magician then gave him medicine that greatly reduced his limbs; The magician picked him up and took him around as a tool for fun.
Knowing this, the person in charge of Gong Ye was furious and killed the magician with a stick. 15 1: "Foolishness" [Translation] There are two people in Qi who are brave. One lives in the east of the city and the other lives in the west. One day, they met unexpectedly on the road.
People living in the west of the city said, "It's rare to meet each other. Let's go for a drink. " "ok"
So they went into the restaurant and drank wine. After several rounds of drinking, people living in the east of the city said, "How about getting some meat to eat?" People living in the west of the city said, "You and I are both heroes.
You have meat on you and I have meat on me. Why do you need to buy meat? ""good! Very good! " Another said. So I asked the waiter to take out the lobster sauce for seasoning, and the two men pulled out their knives. You cut my meat and I'll cut your meat and eat it. Even though there was blood all over the floor, they still cut and ate until they gave up their lives.
If you are so brave, it is better not to be brave. When Sima Guang was seven years old, he looked like an adult and listened carefully to others. He likes them very much.
Tell your family when you get home. He has fully understood the main meaning of this book. From then on, he was so hungry that he forgot to be hungry, cold and warm.
Once, Sima Guang was playing with a group of children in the yard. A child climbed into the water tank, slipped into it and drowned. The other children were scared away, but Sima Guang calmly picked up a stone and smashed it into the water tank. The water tank broke, water came out and the child was saved.
Later, it was painted into a painting and widely circulated in Kaifeng and Luoyang. Once upon a time, there was a doctor who boasted that he could cure humpback.
He said: "Whether it bends like a bow, like a shrimp, or like an iron ring, please ask me to treat it. I'm sure it will be cured in the morning and as straight as an arrow shaft at night. " A man believed it and asked him to treat his hunchback.
The doctor wants to get two door panels, one on the ground, with hunchback lying on it, the other on it, and then jump on it and step on it hard. In this way, the hunchback was quickly straightened, but people were also stepped out.
The hunchback son wanted to sue him in the government, but the doctor said, "My job is to cure hunchback. Just put it right, it doesn't matter whether people are dead or alive! " There was a bachelor in Yuexi who built a small house and lived a self-sufficient life. But he is very worried about rats.
Those mice swaggered around the house during the day and squeaked at night until dawn. The bachelor accumulated a lot of anger.
One day, he came home drunk and was about to lie on the pillow and sleep. The mouse seems to disturb him in various ways, so that he can't close his eyes for a moment. In a rage, the man set fire to them everywhere.
The mouse was burned to death, but so was the bachelor's hut. The next day, he woke up drunk and didn't know where he went.
Longmenzi went to visit him. He said: "people can't accumulate anger! At first, I just hated mice, but I forgot my home as soon as I saw them. I didn't expect such a big disaster.
People really shouldn't accumulate anger! In the ninth year of Xining, there was a whirlwind blowing from the southeast in Wucheng County of Zhou En. From a distance, it looks like a horn inserted into the sky. All the big trees were uprooted by the wind, and soon the whirlwind swept them into the sky.
Soon the whirlwind gradually approached, and after passing through the county seat, the official houses and houses were almost swept away and all of them were involved in the clouds. The county magistrate's children and handmaiden were swept to the ground, killing and injuring several people.
Countless people have been killed or injured. The county seat was completely in ruins, so it moved to its present place.
Three hooligans fell into the well: there was an old woman in the west of the village. There was a good plum tree in her yard, which was often stolen. She set a trap under the wall and poured soil such as rice fields into it. Three scoundrels, A, B and C, want to steal plums. After dark, A climbed over the wall and fell into a trap. Clothes and trousers are covered with dirty things, and the smell is very bad. He also looked up and shouted to his companion, Come on, come here! B climbed over the wall and fell into a trap. Just as he was about to speak, A blocked his mouth and called C. After a while, C also fell in. B and C looked at each other and questioned A. A said, If you don't fall in, you won't laugh at me together! Contradiction [translation] There was a man selling spears and shields in the State of Chu who praised his shield and said, "My shield is so strong that no weapon can pierce it.
2. My first teacher in twelve Chinese textbooks taught me what kind of person I want to be. Second, learn "unforgettable enlightenment"
1, unforgettable childhood. The first teacher in childhood is even more unforgettable. They can stay in everyone's memory forever. Because they opened the door to our knowledge; Sow beautiful seeds in our tender hearts; Teach us the truth of being a man and let us grow up healthily. Today, we are going to learn an article recalling the first teacher-unforgettable enlightenment. (What is enlightenment? (Teach you the basics)
Why is my first teacher unforgettable? What did he write in the article that made him unforgettable?
After the exchange, the students summed up the blackboard writing: anti-Japanese remarks, the teacher's two criticisms of "I" and boycotted Japanese classes.
3. Understand the sentence "From this combination of leniency and strictness, we primary school students have also realized the truth that some teachers have not made clear", what is the meaning of "leniency" and "strictness" in this paper, and why teachers are so strict about composition and writing, but so tolerant about Japanese lessons, so as to further understand teachers' patriotic spirit and rigorous and serious teaching attitude.
4. Read the text silently and think. What kind of person is the author's first teacher? Show courseware:
Love the motherland, be strict with students, write realistically and study hard. )。
Chen Wannian is a well-known official in North Korea. Once Chen Wannian was ill, he called his son Chen Xian to the bedside.
Teach him to read until midnight. Chen Xian took a nap and hit his head on the screen. Chen Wannian was so angry that he wanted to hit him with a stick and reprimanded him: "I always told you, but you went to sleep and didn't listen to me. Why? " Chen Xian quickly knelt down and kowtowed and said, "I know what Dad said. I probably taught my son to kiss up to the boss and please him. That's all! " Chen Wannian didn't speak again.
37. Translation of Huang Er: Lu Ji, a great poet in the early Jin Dynasty, had a dog named Huang Er, which was very popular with his master. Lu Ji lives in Luoyang, the capital of Beijing, and misses his hometown in Jiangnan very much. One day, he joked to Huang Er, I haven't been able to communicate with my family for a long time. Can you deliver the message for me? I don't want the dog to wag its tail and make noises over and over again, as if it agreed.
Lu Ji was surprised and immediately wrote a letter, put it in a bamboo tube, tied it around Huang Er's neck, and let it out. Huang Er not only sent the letter to Lu Ji's home, but also brought back a reply from his family.
My hometown and Luo Yang are thousands of miles apart, and it takes 50 days for people to go back and forth, while Huang Er only needs 20 days. Later, Huang Er often traveled all over the country, delivering letters for Lu Ji and becoming a dog messenger.
In order to thank "Huang Er" for his contribution in spreading books, Lu Ji was buried in his hometown after his death, and the villagers called it "Huang Er's Tomb". 38. Wang Jun, who likes frogs, made an iron needle, about two feet long.
Whenever you catch a frog, put a needle through its head and neck. The needle is full, take it back as a dish. So many years passed.
One day, he went to a relative's house and was very sorry to see that there were no frogs on the table. In the evening, relatives asked him to stay.
At midnight, there is a fire in the distance. Wang Jun climbed onto the roof to watch, only to see flames. Relatives live by the river, afraid that thieves would climb up the house along the water, so they inserted dozens of iron bars by the river, the top of which was very sharp, just like a sharp blade.
Wang Jun watched the fire from a distance on the roof, gloating and falling. The iron bar just passed through his head and neck, and he cried miserably. The man who came to save him had nothing to think about.
Later, someone put a long ladder in the water, and everyone climbed the ladder before he was rescued, but he was already dead. His death was like a needle piercing a frog, probably because of his killing.
Nanqi is located in the valley around Shaanxi and Sichuan. They seldom come into contact with outsiders. The water in Nanqi is sweet, but it lacks iodine.
Drinking this water all the year round will cause big neck disease. None of the residents of Nanqi has a big neck.
One day, a man came from outside the mountain and caused a sensation in Nanqi. Residents of all ages came to watch.
As they watched, they began to talk about the foreigner's neck: "Oh, his aunt, look at that man's neck." "His second sister-in-law, it's strange. His neck is thin and long. How ugly! " "Fuck, there must be something wrong with his neck."
"Such a thin neck, walking into the street, how embarrassing! Why not wrap it in a scarf? " Hearing this, the foreigner smiled and said, "You have a neck disease, which is called big neck disease! You are sick and can't be cured. Instead, you laugh at my neck. Is it ridiculous? " Nanqi people said: "All the villagers in our village have such necks. They are fat and fat. How beautiful they are! You pay for our treatment, and we still don't do it! " 40. Yang Guangyuan rebelled against Qingzhou (ancient place name, now Shandong). Sun lived in a besieged city, and his grange was in the west of Qingzhou. The city has been closed for a long time, isolated from the inside and outside, suffering and sighing for home.
There is a dog wandering around, seemingly worried. Sun said, "If there is no food at home and people die, what can we do?" ? Can you get me some rice from the grange? "The dog wagged his tail in response.
Put a cloth bag at night, simplify it and tie it on the dog's back. The dog came out of the pool and barked at the grange.
When the Zhuang people opened the door, they knew their dogs, looked at them briefly, made them return the rice, and unconsciously entered the city. Sun has been proud of his family for so many months.
After the defeat of Yang Guangyuan, the city was opened. 4 1. There is a pedantic man whose surname is pedantic. The world called him pedantic and stingy.
If the fence is broken, it will not be repaired, and if the tiles on the roof are broken, it will not be repaired. One day it rained heavily in the middle of the night and the house leaked like a water column. His children are hiding or getting wet in the rain. They were covered in dirt and shouted insults. His wife asked him, "I married you because your family is rich. I didn't expect to suffer like this." How can you be a husband and father? " Pedantic and helpless.
The next day, craftsmen were invited to repair the house. However, in the next two months, the weather was fine and there was no sign of rain.
Yu Gong sighed. "After the house was repaired, the rain stopped. Isn't it a waste of money? " 42. buy a pig A county magistrate writes too carelessly and always dances. When I was ready to entertain the guests, I wrote a list and sent a servant to buy food. The word "pig tongue" was written so long that the servant thought it was to buy 1000 pigs. After going to the market, where will there be so many? I searched all over the country and only bought 500 mouthfuls, so I had to bite the bullet and report back.
The county magistrate smiled and said, "I asked to buy pig tongues. How can I buy thousands of pigs?" The official replied to the county official: "If you want to buy geese in the market in the future, you must write shorter, and don't write' buy my bird'!" If Shi lives in seclusion at the northern foot of Mingshan Mountain, a tiger often crouches outside his fence to peep. Ruoshi leads his family to be vigilant day and night: ring pheasants at sunrise, light bonfires at sunset, and ring the death knell at night.
Plant thorns and shrubs and build walls in the valley to prevent them.
4. Twelve Chinese textbooks My first teacher taught me what I want to be. Second, learning unforgettable enlightenment 1, unforgettable childhood life.
The first teacher in childhood is even more unforgettable. They can stay in everyone's memory forever. Because they opened the door to our knowledge; Sow beautiful seeds in our tender hearts; Teach us the truth of being a man and let us grow up healthily.
Today, we are going to learn an article recalling the first teacher-unforgettable enlightenment. (What is enlightenment? (Teach you the basics) 2 Why is my first teacher unforgettable? What did he write in the article that made him unforgettable? After the exchange, the students summed up the blackboard writing: anti-Japanese remarks, the teacher's two criticisms of "I" and boycotted Japanese classes.
3. Understand the sentence "From this combination of leniency and strictness, we primary school students have also realized the truth that some teachers have not made clear", what is the meaning of "leniency" and "strictness" in this paper, and why teachers are so strict about composition and writing, but so tolerant about Japanese lessons, so as to further understand teachers' patriotic spirit and rigorous and serious teaching attitude. 4. Read the text silently and think. What kind of person is the author's first teacher? Show courseware: (Love the motherland, be strict with students, write realistically and study hard. )
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