Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - What Jason Wu, the lucky star of the treasure, said.
What Jason Wu, the lucky star of the treasure, said.
Tang Priest: Wukong, do you think this is the Leidayin Temple?
Wukong: Leidayin Temple has a long way to go!
Tang Priest: But after listening to the story just now, it seems that you should have achieved something.
Wukong: This probably looks profound. Can cater to petty bourgeoisie friends.
Bajie: What are you? What is this place? Why not introduce it to the audience?
Tang Priest: It should be Yuhua County not far ahead!
Friar Sand: What! what did you say ? /Excuse me?
Tang Priest: I said Yuhuafu? What happened? Your sudden stop will affect our progress in studying scripture.
Friar Sand: Yuhua County ... Why are we going there!
Tang Priest: Is this the only way to Tianzhu? What happened to you today?
Jason Wu: Haven't you heard of it?
Tang Priest: Say what?
Jason Wu: They say-the seasons are becoming more and more changeable, even the rain hurts, and the whole world is like dust in the wind. No one dares to tell others loudly that you love me. ...
Tang Priest: Are you all right? Wukong, just slap him twice to sober him up!
Jason Wu: Oh, no, nothing. I just want to tell you, boy ... me too!
Wukong: My name is ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(It was noisy all the way, and four people entered the gate of Yuhua House)
Tang Priest: Wow! There is a supermarket here. You are shopping here now. I went to the lobby in front of Daxiong to change the customs clearance documents.
Bajie: OK, OK! Then let's go
Wukong: I seem to have a hunch that I don't want to ...
Friar Sand: Yes! We don't have any money.
(in the supermarket)
Bajie: Sorry, sister-in-law, this bag of pig feed. ...
Shopping sister-in-law: Wow! Ghosts!
Wukong: I told you not to show your face to others casually. Look, you almost scared this ...
Shopping sister-in-law: Ah! God, I don't want to die yet!
Friar Sand: You all look very strange. You are almost as bad as two peas in a pod. Don't talk about anyone ...
Shopping sister-in-law: I think ... I'd better go to hell!
Bajie: An innocent eldest sister-in-law died before doing anything.
Wukong: Simply, let's bury her!
Friar Sand: No, I think it's better to throw it on the shelf!
Wukong: Yes, yes, yes! That's it!
Three people put the frightened eldest sister-in-law on the shelf.
Shopping boy: Excuse me, waiter, how much is this?
At this time, there was a broadcast in the mall.
Radio: Hello, everyone, I am the megaphone of the shopping mall! Now broadcast the announcement. Fan Mai, Fan Mai, your father was arrested by the police uncle for stealing property from the mall. Your father asked you to eat by yourself tonight, and your father asked you to eat by yourself tonight. Three monks from the Eastern Tang Dynasty, three monks from the Eastern Tang Dynasty, your master is now going through customs clearance procedures in the DPRK. The king wants to see you now. Please go to the king's place and let him watch. Please go to the king's place and let him watch.
Friar Sand: They seem to be calling us!
Bajie: But it asks us to show it to others.
Wukong: I don't care that much. Master is probably selling tickets now. Let's go!
On the Hall of Ursa Major.
King: Wow! These three are ...
Tang Priest: Your Majesty, these three are my disciples.
King: It seems that you really didn't lie to me. They all look like big radishes soaked in wine jars. Your description is really apt! Ah ha ha ha ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Wukong: Master, he just said. ...
King: Yo! This radish can still talk! Suddenly flowers bloom ~ ~ ~ ~
Bajie: Monkeys, look at them laughing, their noses are bubbling, hahahaha ~ ~ ~ ~
Wukong: You idiot, people are laughing at us!
Tang Priest: Well, you have seen it. Can you let us go?
King: Let you go? Horizontal! Don't think I will believe what you say, because you are fat for nothing. Look at your completely insecure apprentices. How can people trust them?
Wukong: Do you care if we are good or bad?
Bai: What? Call me?
Wukong: Please stand down. Old emperor, I'm talking to you. Do you stamp this chapter on the customs clearance documents?
King: I am the king of a country. How can I go back on my word? Unless ... you threaten me with force!
Wukong: Cut! I've never seen anyone as cheap as you! If you don't let us through, I'll break yours. ...
Tang Priest: Wukong! Don't talk nonsense above the golden palace! What can't be broken? If you want to hit it, you will be killed with a stick!
King: Really?
Big Prince: Hum! How dare you speak ill of yourself in the golden palace!
Wukong: Huh?
Second Prince: Hum! Now we three princes will teach you a lesson!
Bajie: Huh?
Third Prince: Hum! What should I say when you two are finished talking?
Friar Sand: Cut!
Big Prince: Cut the crap and take the stick!
Second Prince: Look at palladium!
Third Prince: And my big shovel!
Wukong: Hey, what are you doing?
Big Prince: Hit you?
Wukong: That's not how weapons are used. Look!
Big Prince: Wow! Why is yours the same as ours?
Wukong: Wrong! It should be said that what you are holding is the same as ours. You see, mine is called Ruyi Golden Hoop. That is the Zhenhai God Needle Iron in the Dragon Palace in the East China Sea, weighing 13,500 Jin. This year, it also obtained ISO-9003 international quality certification, and was recognized as an environmentally friendly and pollution-free weapon!
Big Prince: Really?
Wukong: Of course, there is no preservative at all!
Bajie: Look at my rake again!
Second Prince: It seems to be similar to mine.
Bajie: Wrong again! My nine-tooth harrow was designed exclusively by the No.3 Arsenal of Gaolaozhuang and manufactured under the authorization of the No.6 Foundry of Gaolaozhuang. It weighs 5048 Jin! However, it is small in size, light in weight, easy to carry around, only the size of a business card when folded, and its unique caller ID design is especially suitable for you who often live in the wild. In addition, each buyer will also give away a valuable book "How to polish our rake" with the rake. We also solemnly promise all customers a 10-year national warranty and a lifetime warranty! What are you waiting for? Your heart is not as good as your actions. Pick up the phone at hand, dial our order hotline, and a beautiful rake will be delivered to you!
Second Prince: Wow! How thoughtful!
Bajie: It's well used, and it doesn't fade!
Third Prince: You bearded man, why don't you introduce yourself? Don't be looked down upon. We use shovels.
Friar Sand: Good! Mine is a big shovel!
Three princes: ...
Friar Sand: ...
Third Prince: It's over?
Friar Sand: It's over!
Third Prince: Have you figured out the situation? People have said that it is so long that one biu will be finished, which makes us lose face, right?
Friar Sand: But am I really finished? It's just a big shovel
Third Prince: Does the shovel have any special effects? What good things have you done? At least you should introduce the total weight.
Friar Sand: This big shovel is used for carrying loads when not shoveling and shoveling earth when not shoveling, so it is not only a good shovel, but also a good pole. The net weight of my weapon is neither too much nor too little, two and a half pounds!
Third Prince: Huh?
Friar Sand: But because it has been useless recently, the paint on it has fallen off.
Big Prince: Father, it turns out that these three masters are magic soldiers. I am willing to learn martial arts from the stick master and serve the motherland!
Second Prince: I would also like to learn martial arts from Master Rake and be a useful person to my country in the future!
Third Prince: I also want to take the shovel man as a disciple and show the great power of our Yuhua State!
King: OK, OK, OK! Accurate! Elder Tang, what do you think?
Tang Priest: I don't care if you accept your apprentice and worship your master. Would you like to stamp this customs clearance document?
King: Withdraw from Korea. ...
Tang Priest: You!
(Palace Garden)
Big Prince: You magic warriors are very powerful, but they are too heavy.
Second Prince: Yes, don't say it's a joke, even if you can't get it!
Wukong: It's nothing difficult. Watch me use magic to help you. I'll blow!
Big Prince: Bah! Tucao Xing, who blew my mouth, can you talk about hygiene?
Wukong: Hey! Why did you spit it out? I put all my skills in that saliva, and now I can only get 20% off.
Big Prince: Let me try. Hi!
Second Prince: Wow! It's amazing! I lifted the big devil teacher's stick at once!
Wukong: Great. It's called a golden hoop.
Second Prince: I'll try it now. Hi!
Big Prince: Yo, awesome! And picked up this big rake.
Friar Sand: It's my turn, hey!
Bajie: Why did you ... why did you also raise my rake?
Friar Sand: Just now, when the big prince spat, I secretly drank a little. Now it's really amazing!
Big Prince: You are disgusting!
Wukong: What magical power do you have with a shovel of two and a half pounds? Go learn to dig from the third prince.
Third Prince: Empty! We practice martial arts with shovels to keep fit. Although we have shovels, digging is just a misunderstanding of us. I think it is necessary for me to clarify this fact here. Thank you.
Wukong: OK, OK, I don't care so much about you, do it yourself! Big prince, today I'm going to teach you a set of super invincible skills!
Big Prince: Super invincible stick? That name sounds out of date.
Wukong: Cut the crap. My name is already very good. Look at that.
Bajie: Second Prince, today I'm going to teach you the big rake method!
Second prince: pa pa ... rake ... I don't understand!
Bajie: That is to say, after my rake was released, it really snapped and the wind and rain were tight.
Second Prince: The name sounds awkward. I don't know how to practice. Don't be like your shovel. ...
(Switch to the Three Princes and Friar Sand)
Friar Sand: Third Prince, what are you going to teach me today?
Third Prince: It's boring. People always hire a master, and I hired an apprentice. Tell you what, just do 180 push-ups first, and don't get up without my password!
Friar Sand: Well, there are not so many lines in several episodes.
Big Prince: I didn't expect that we could see immortals in such a small place. It was really not in vain.
Second Prince: Yes, we should leave some good memories!
Wukong: What memories?
Big Prince: How about this? How about letting my dad hold a "Meat Art Troupe to pay tribute to the four Buddhist monks-another special performance in Song Dynasty"?
Bajie: I think it is more economical to hold a tea party.
Second Prince: I mean, let the skilled craftsmen in our country be as important as the magic soldiers of the third master, so that we can remember them a little after the third master has left.
Wukong: Remember? This word is used! All right, then do it.
Big Prince: But ...
Wukong: What else?
Big Prince: Can we make a look with your weapon?
Wukong: No, these weapons are all treasures. What if they get dirty?
Second Prince: Wash it when it is dirty. Don't you know there is another thing in the world called washing?
Everyone: Catfish washed with polyester is cooler, drier and more assured!
Wukong: I mean, although these weapons are treasures, they don't look ordinary on the outside. Nothing more than sticks, rakes and shovels. I think everyone has seen these things at ordinary times, and there is no need to stay here with these props, right?
Big Prince: See how stingy you are? Can't I return it to you tomorrow morning?
Wukong: So tonight. ...
Second Prince: Are you afraid to sleep alone at night?
Wukong: Not afraid! But without this stick, it is another matter.
Second Prince: Well, this stick is for you at night.
Wukong: It's ok if it's an ordinary stick, but is this match obviously a little small?
Third Prince: Yes, let's go! By the way, big brother, there is one more thing to discuss with you!
Big Prince: What is it?
Third Prince: Can I give up the weapon of the bearded monk who came with them?
Big Prince: Oh? What's the matter?
Third Prince: There is a shovel on one side and a crescent moon on the other. I have no personality at all. It doesn't fit my figure at all. I don't want it anyway!
Big Prince: Third, to tell you the truth, we don't want my stick and the rake of the second. All these weapons will be used by artists on the main roads. But these are all made by directors, and we also get paid to eat. There is nothing we can do!
Third Prince: So everything is predetermined?
Big Prince: Not bad!
Third Prince: How can my life be so miserable? ...
Wukong: I have a matchstick here, and you two are whining over there, completely ignoring my existence. Who is the protagonist here?
Big Prince: Ah! Why haven't you left yet?
Second Prince: Yes, yes, turn it off, turn it off! Comrades who haven't solved the problem today, please come back tomorrow, it's time to get off work!
Wukong: You ...
Pig: Monkey, I told you that bureaucracy kills people!
(Sure enough, this evening, King Yuhua summoned skilled craftsmen from all over the country to imitate and build according to the weapons of three disciples of Tang Priest. In the middle of the night, the three weapons are naturally radiant, and they were discovered by the little demon who lived in the hukou cave of Baotou Mountain not far from Yuhua Prefecture. Then, after a demon wind, all three weapons were gone. In a twinkling, the next day. )
Blacksmith: Big Prince ~ ~ ~ Not good ~ ~ ~
Big Prince: Whoops?
Blacksmith: Big Prince, those precious weapons … are gone!
Big Prince: Whoops!
Blacksmith: Big Prince, what shall we do?
Big Prince: Whoops!
Blacksmith: OK, I see.
Big Prince: Ouch! Ho ho ~ ~ ~
Blacksmith: Well, I'll tell you next time you don't brush your teeth. Goodbye!
(four apprentices' post)
Wukong: You said you lost my stick?
Big Prince: Objectively speaking, yes.
Wukong: Look me in the eye. ...
Big prince: ...
Wukong: ... You're lying to me, aren't you?
Second Prince: We are telling the truth, and your two brothers' rakes and shovels.
Wukong: You lied to me again? I don't like lying children!
Big Prince: What we said is true. Look, I still have toothpaste foam on my mouth!
Wukong: What? Is this really the case? ...
Bajie: I told you to take your valuables with you. You see, everyone who eats has lost!
Wukong: Tell me, is there a monster organization near you?
Big Prince: Monster organization?
Third Prince: There seems to be! Just outside the city, there is a cave in the tiger's mouth of Baozitou Mountain, where a yellow lion monster lives. it must be ...
Wukong: All right, Bajie, you stay here and watch the master!
Bajie: OK!
Wukong: Master, you watch Brother Sha here!
Tang Priest: What about you?
Wukong: I'm going to take a trip to Baotou Mountain now!
Big Prince: Wow! It used to fly!
Second Prince: Hey ~ ~ ~ You flew backwards ~ ~ ~ Baotou Mountain is behind. ...
(Tiger Mouth Cave in Baotou Mountain)
Huangshi: I want you to visit the mountain. Why did you bring me back these farm tools?
Demon: Your Majesty, please forgive me, but these are all artifacts!
Yellow lion: Look at your head! After picking up such a pile of junk, you came back to show off in front of me and didn't give me a tour of the mountains!
Demon: These three weapons were brought by monks in the Eastern Jin and Tang Dynasties. Although they look ordinary now, they glow at night!
Yellow lion: Glowing? I've seen flashlights. I don't believe you!
Demon: Yes, aren't we ghosts?
Huangshi: It seems reasonable. Well, well, the festival is coming soon, and we just take this opportunity to have a rake party and have fun. You go to patrol the mountain now!
Demon: Your Majesty, of course I'm glad that you want me to go on a business trip, but can you not ask me to patrol the mountains?
Huangshi: What's the matter?
Demon: Haven't you seen the previous episodes? None of those goblins who patrol the mountains can survive the whole episode, and I don't want to have such bad luck!
Huangshi: History is changed by people!
Small demon: Hum! If there were only two goblins in this cave now, I would have quit! Horizontal! I'm leaving!
Huangshi: Don't forget, come back early. ...
Demon: That's more like it.
Huangshi: I'm afraid you misunderstood. I asked you to buy me some breakfast when you come back tomorrow morning!
All this was clearly heard by Wukong, the doorman. As soon as Xiao Yao went out, Wukong stabbed Xiao Yao in the back.
Demon: Is this death? The little demon who was patrolling the mountain had to scream "Ah" when he died. How spectacular! How did I die like this?
Wukong: You are too talkative when you are dead. Make up another knife!
(Back to Yuhua County)
Wukong: Bajie, I'm back. How's it going? Did the master make any trouble after I left?
Bajie: No!
Wukong: Master! Did Shage ever throw anyone for us while I was away?
Tang Priest: Compared with yourself, it's not too shameful!
Wukong: Hmm!
Big Prince: What are you talking about here?
Second Prince: Yes, did you find the whereabouts of your weapon?
Wukong: When I left, you said that my weapon was stolen by a monster in Tiger Cave in Baotou Mountain. Did you do it right? We'll be back after the commercial!
(Music starts, applause)
Woman: Aren't you cold with so few clothes?
Man: I've told you a hundred times that people who wear it are crazy. ...
(Music starts again, applause.)
Wukong: Just now, the Second Prince said that my weapon was stolen by a monster in the Tiger Cave in Baotou Mountain. Did you do it right?
Second Prince: (hesitantly) Is that right?
Wukong: Congratulations, you got it right!
Second Prince: Oh!
Wukong: Tell me, what was your first family dream?
Second Prince: It's a book card for poor students!
Wukong: Congratulations, you helped those children with your wisdom and love!
Second Prince: Thank you, thank you. ...
Wukong: Shall we continue?
Second Prince: OK.
Wukong: Which one of you would like to go to the Hukou Cave in Baotou Mountain with me to get our weapons back?
Third Prince: Both of them!
Wukong: It seems that they got it right again. ...
(Wukong turns into a demon and takes his two younger brothers to the tiger's mouth cave)
Huangshi: Wow! Come back so soon?
Wukong: Yes, our Fiona Fang is only a dozen square meters. There is nothing to visit at all. I happened to see a vendor selling pork on the road, so I brought him here as a snack for you!
Friar Sand: Huh? That's not what you said when you called me here!
Wukong: Oh! I'm sorry, I mean the pig you sell is for the king as a snack.
Bajie: What are you ... what are you looking at me for? You're not talking about me!
Huang: Snacks have their own lines? Isn't that a little ridiculous? Ok, ok, hurry up and check out in the back!
Wukong: You two come with me!
(Back hole)
Wukong: Look, isn't that my golden hoop?
Bajie: Isn't that my red nine-toothed rake?
Friar Sand: Isn't that the sludge on my mord?
Wukong: It seems that it's time for us to make a move. Bajie!
Bajie: Here!
Wukong: Brother Sha!
Friar Sand: Here!
Wukong: Go ~ ~ ~
Bajie: Go ~ ~ ~
Friar Sand: Go ~ ~ ~
Wukong: Hey! You are so ungrateful, everyone shouts, why don't you even move your feet?
Bajie: Monkey, although you moved, you obviously took several steps back!
Wukong: You ...
Huangshi: What are you three calling from here? Huh? Who told you to take my weapon?
Wukong: Cut the crap! Watch the fight ~ ~ ~ ~
Yellow lion: Ah ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Demon: Look, director, people are all "ah" when they die. How spectacular!
Director: It's blocking the camera! You get down.
(Yuhua County)
Wukong: Three princes, we have our weapons back.
Big Prince: Wow! Really!
Bajie: Right! And killed that yellow-haired lion essence!
Second Prince: What?
Friar Sand: Now let's go!
Third Prince: How did this happen?
Tang Priest: What's the problem?
Big Prince: My father said he would give us your weapon as a gift during the festival.
Wukong: See you off?
Second Prince: We were waiting for the news that the three of you were killed, and then my father sent someone to Hukou Cave to buy those three weapons for us. ...
Third Prince: Who knew you killed the supplier, 555555 ~ ~
Guanyin: Wukong, I'm coming! How to bully children again?
Wukong: What are you doing here?
Guanyin: According to your progress, I know that you should go to Yuhua State today, and there is a yellow lion essence in the Hukou Cave of Baotou Mountain next to it. I'm here to help you clear customs!
Wukong: Are you out of your mind? Huang Shijing has burped!
Guanyin: Ah! You shot him?
Wukong: Really?
Guanyin: Ah! Mr lai rulai insists on arranging eighty-one difficulties for you. If we can't figure out the number, let's make a temporary contribution to our family pet, my poor poodle. ...
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