Boring English jokes

Lead: People who can tell jokes are popular, so get close to some joke kings. Now I am also the king of jokes! I collected some English jokes that are meaningless to everyone. Let's laugh together and collect popularity!

1, "A village doctor went to a remote area to deliver a baby.

It's too far, there is no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was at home except the mother who was giving birth and her 5-year-old child. The doctor asked the child to hold the lantern high so that he could see it, and at the same time he helped the woman deliver the baby.

......"

2. "A man saw a woman in the grocery store with a three-year-old girl in the basket. When they passed the biscuit area, the child asked her for biscuits, and her mother told her "no". The little girl immediately began to cry, and her mother said calmly, "Allen, now we only have half of the aisle to go; Don? Don't be sad. It won? It won't be long. " "

......"

3. "Three mice were sitting in a bar bragging about their bravery and tenacity.

The first one said, "Me? I am very strong, once I ate a whole bag of rat poison! ""

The second one said, "Well, me? I am very strong. Once I was caught in a mousetrap and I bit it open! " "

......"

4. "A man went to visit a friend and was surprised to find that he was playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in surprise for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" "He said loudly" that? I'm the smartest dog? I have never seen it. " "

...... One day, I took my dog for a walk around my building ... on the windowsill. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me. Me? I am afraid of width.

I once had a dog. I spilled detergent on him, and now he? It's gone.

I wear contact lenses for my dog? Eyes. They have small pictures of cats on them. Then I took out one and he ran around in circles.

......"

5. "There are two cows chatting across the fence between their fields.

The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad cow disease is really terrible." They say it spreads quickly; I heard it hit some cows on Johnson farm. ""

......"

6. "Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, eager to suck blood. One said, "Let? "Let's fly out of the cave and get some blood." "

""We? "You are new here," said the second man. "it? It's getting dark outside, aren't we? I don't know where to look. we? We'd better wait until the other bats go with us. ""

......"

7. "Mrs. Peterson called the repairman because her dishwasher was broken. Can't he? T arrange an "after work" appointment for her, because she has to go to work, so she told him? I'll put the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher and put the bill on the counter. What about me? I'll send you a check. By the way, I have a big Rothwell dog named Heizai; He won? I won't bother you. I have a parrot, too. Whatever you do, don't talk to this bird! ”"

......"

8. "I went to the cinema the other day, and there was an old man sitting in the front row with his dog. This is a sad and funny movie, you know this type. In the sad part, the dog cried her eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed my head off. This situation runs through the whole movie. After the movie, I decided to talk to that man.

......"

Grunt: Cats make lovely sounds.

A poem about a strange kitten.

Afraid that your cat is up to something.

Man: the cat's automatic door opener.

Eternal love for domestic cats

A male cat.

......

10, "Animals are boring. Finally, the lion had an idea. " "I know a very exciting game played by human beings, called football. Me? I saw it on TV.

He began to describe it to the other animals. They were all very excited, so they decided to play. They went to the field, selected teams and got ready to start.

......"

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