Horrifying classic humorous sentences (selected 60 sentences)

1. How did you die?

2. When you fall in love, you lose one friend.

3. Not falling in love doesn’t mean no one wants you!

4. Roses are so cheap that you can give them to your wife.

5. Don’t keep installing it like a trash can.

6. You are only suitable for missing, not suitable for meeting.

7. If I were the emperor, I would make you a prince!

8. Once you fall in love, you become your wife. How many people are responsible?

9. Do you find that good people are usually single?

10. As long as the hoe dances well, it cannot dig corners?

11. I really want to know: whose name you will call when you are drunk.

12. Last night I dreamed of men from all over the world suffering from menstrual cramps!

13. Angels can fly because they look very light...

14. If you look in the mirror and pay taxes, I'm afraid some women will go bankrupt.

15. Housing prices are getting higher and higher, so there are fewer and fewer good people...;

16. In fact, being single is quite good, and there is no need to explain who you are ambiguous with.

17. Now I realize that these two words contain a lot of disappointment.

18. When I think of the disunity of the motherland, I can’t help but want to smoke...

19. Forgetting someone is actually quite simple: don’t look at it, don’t be mean.

20. I can’t find my tie again. Didn't you find the rag yesterday?

21. One day, I took all the power into my hands and killed all the dogs who were responsible for me.

22. Only liars in the world are sincere: because he really lied to you!

23. Can you say something bad about me: Don’t add oil and vinegar, thinking it’s cooking!

24. Some people were once friends, but after confessing, they are no longer friends.

25. If a man does not make money, a woman will be anxious; if a man makes money, a woman will regret it.

26. My future husband, don’t be so nice to your current partner, it’s useless!

27. Everyone who says he doesn’t want to fall in love has an impossible person in his heart.

28. Praise a female classmate in person: You are really like a hibiscus coming out of clear water!

29. I just realized that when I can’t get through to you, you always say sorry to me.

30. Last night, I dreamed of men from all over the world suffering from menstrual cramps! What are some shocking classic humorous sentences?

31. I fell in love with my bed, but the alarm clock was jealous and always wanted to separate me from the bed.

32. Is there anyone like me who has nothing to do in front of the computer but doesn’t want to turn it off?

33. It’s not that I won’t delete you, I just want to see how you wrote your feelings for that woman.

34. I would rather you hold other women and miss me than you hold me and miss other women.

35. Women who participate in beauty pageants cannot find good men because good men are married, such as me.

36. When a man makes money, he wants to divorce his wife. When a man makes no money, his wife wants to divorce him.

37. What a man is most proud of is not how many women he has, but how many men his woman is willing to reject for him.

38. Hugging is really a strange thing, obviously it depends on it. So close, but can't see each other's faces.

39. My wife saw a few photos of my girlfriends in college and kept praising me for not being lewd...

40. I hate that I have been waiting for your news for a long time. . As a result, do you think I am telling a story or a joke?

41. Although I have set up an online reminder, I still can’t help but check over and over again to see if you are online!

42. A man having an affair is reflected in his getting busier and busier at work, and a woman having an affair is reflected in the fact that the dishes are getting saltier.

43. If you take the initiative for a long time, you will be tired; if you care for a long time, you will collapse; if you remain silent for a long time, you will suffer; if you miss someone for a long time, you will shed tears.

44. The person who makes you laugh so hard is the person who loves you the most. The person who makes you cry to the point of breaking your heart is the person you love the most.

45. Traditional men are pure before marriage and start having sex after marriage; modern men have sex before marriage and become honest after marriage.

46. If you like a girl, buy her more food. If you get fat, no one will chase you, it’s yours.

47. How to give MM an unforgettable birthday? First, we will give you the housing certificate for the most expensive real estate in Guangzhou, which is guaranteed to be both unforgettable and surprising!

48. I am very careful, I will be jealous, I will be jealous. I don’t know that one day I will suddenly go crazy and tie you directly to the Civil Affairs Bureau.

49. We have endless things to say on QQ, but when we meet in real life, we can’t say a word, just like strangers.

50. There is a one-dollar coin in the flower bed, but the sign says that if you step into the flower bed, you will be fined three yuan! , really embarrassing.

51. When a woman talks about her to you, it means she likes you. When a man talks about hate to you, he really hates you.

52. Am I redundant? In fact, I am not redundant! I'm the only one in the world. How can I be redundant? That's called the only one!

53. Who memorizes my mobile phone number? Who carries me? QQ. Does anyone know my birthday number? Who knows what I'm afraid of? Who remembers what I like?

54. On the day of the wedding banquet, I put my husband’s ex-girlfriend and those unknown women at a table alone, and then I toasted them one by one!

55. I spent RMB 10,000 on a Western Zhou clay pot. Yesterday I went to the "Treasure Appraisal" column for appraisal. The expert said solemnly: This is from the Western Zhou Dynasty? This is from last week!

56. No matter how bad the relationship between a man and his wife is, his relationship with his mother-in-law is also very good; no matter how good the relationship between a woman and her husband is, her relationship with her mother-in-law is also very bad.

57. I can’t stand the business brand that says: demolition, sell for money! I threw the down jacket to her, but she just wouldn’t sell it. She was so deceptive to consumers!

58. In fact, many people in life have my mentality.

Some psychologists work part-time as fortune tellers, tour guides sell packed lunches, old Chinese medicine doctors do part-time foot massage, and TV show hosts publish books (cue Zhu Jun), right?

59. A man entrusts his girlfriend to take care of his brother, and in the end his girlfriend becomes his wife, and he takes care of him; a woman entrusts her boyfriend to a sister to take care of, and in the end the sister becomes the boyfriend's wife, and the sister cannot become.

60. I am not confident. The reason why I do these things is because I want people to think that my film and television performances are the best in the cross talk industry, that I am the best director in the actor industry, and that I am the smartest screenwriter in the directing industry. The crosstalk I have in the screenwriting industry is the most fun. Now we must use our comprehensive strength.