Can everyone come and save me? What can I do?

No one knows a child better than his parents, and no one knows his parents better than a child.

You should know whether your mother will change. If your mother is the kind of person who cannot change, then... at least I don't want to, my Marriage is subject to any criticism and curse, especially from the mother.

If your mother can feel relieved, then your girlfriend must never have any more conflicts. For your sake, she should be able to adapt, even if it is to make your mother happy. You have to help her bear the grievances she suffered during this period and give her confidence. This is very important, otherwise she will not be able to persist.

Furthermore, if you are a determined, ambitious, and capable person, then leave your home and take your most beloved person (you are sure it must be her) to a strange place. In the city, or in a foreign land with friends and acquaintances, she will forgive you when you have a career and children, happiness and contentment, and return to your mother.

Take a step back, you don’t have to go far away, you have to be with her life and death, and she is willing. So, if you want to get married, you must get your mother's consent (any way, acquiescence, crying, scolding your girlfriend, etc.). Even if your mother doesn't even attend your wedding, she must know about it. In the days to come, don't let the mother feel that she has lost a son, but let her feel that she has gained a well-behaved daughter. As time goes by, she will be fine.

Let’s talk about the matter at hand, that is, you can never let your girlfriend and your mother quarrel again, and don’t let your girlfriend quarrel or even fight with your mother again! Don’t make more mistakes! ! ! You can't tell your mother anything about her. Your mother won't like to hear the good things you say, and you won't be willing to say the bad things about her. Let your girlfriend do what she can. During the Spring Festival, you can give your parents some supplements according to their physical condition (even if you buy them, but it is best if you persuade her to buy them), or cut some window grilles, or make something up Hang the Chinese knot or something in your home. You can do it with her and have fun in it. In the process, let her slowly give up her original hostile attitude towards your parents and let her feel that your parents are also her family. Then She will never have another war with your mother. You can tell your mother in an understatement that she knitted the Chinese knot as a gift (to be hung in her bedroom). You can do more things like this and take your time.

The most important thing is that your heart cannot give in. Let your girlfriend know how important she (referring to your girlfriend) is to you; let your mother know how much you love her (referring to your mother).

I hope you can be together forever.

Another piece of advice: Don’t tell your mother everything about you (regardless of life or relationships). The elderly need to be coaxed.

After reading "Qian Xia Qi Yu Xi", it seems that I need to add something. The concept of filial piety in China has changed over the past two thousand years. Take a look at the original "filial piety" in the "Analects" and the later "Twenty-Four Filial Piety" in the Ming Dynasty. "What a difference there is in "filial piety"! Filial piety is not tolerance and accommodation to parents without any principles, but human communication based on independent personality.

Deleuze (a 20th century Western psychologist) believed that all love aims at union, and only one kind of love is different, that is the love of parents for their children. If the children can Those who leave their parents well and bear all the experiences and responsibilities that an independent person should have, are successful parents. The parents of the older generation in China cannot be like this, so they cannot give their children this kind of "separate love". It is extremely difficult for Chinese children to grow up. On the contrary, I think that encountering such a thing is not necessarily a bad thing, but an opportunity to train yourself. Don't you feel the changes in yourself in love? Is that what your mother can give you? Obviously not!

Here, it’s not a question of whether you choose your girlfriend or your mother. What I mean is that you choose yourself! ! !

I am speaking from the perspective of your choice, and I am definitely not trying to constrain you with any ready-made model or rules.

The first and second floors are very popular in China, but they are not a panacea. For example, if your life later proves that your original girlfriend is better, your mother regrets not letting you two be together in the first place. You have to let your mother take the responsibility. Is this a responsibility that cannot be let go?

I didn’t say in my answer that I wanted to give up your mother. In the end, I wanted you to return to your mother, and your girlfriend also had to change. The harmony and reunion of the family is what matters. the final result achieved. The reason why such a possibility is raised is to clarify the problem and prevent it from going to extremes. After all, this is China.

Finally, as the old saying goes, I hope lovers will eventually get married.