A long humorous joke

When people are tired of work and study, jokes can make them relax quickly. Watching some hilarious long humorous jokes will definitely make them feel good. The following is a long humorous joke I compiled for you, hoping to help you.

A long humorous joke 1

In the coffee shop, the waiter came up and said, "Sir, smoking is not allowed here."

I stood up and took two steps forward. "What about here?"

"Not really."

I shook my head in disappointment, took a few more steps and tentatively asked, "Is this ok?"

"still not."

I moved a few steps to the left in frustration and gave up hope. "Can't it be here?"

"You TM all finished also ask me! Cao! "

Long humorous jokes 2

A: "Do you have any matches on you?"

B: "No."

A: "I'd like to invite you to have a cigarette. What a pity! "

B: "No matches, I have a lighter!"

Long humorous joke 3

Woman: "Why do you turn a blind eye every time you look at me?"

Man: "so I can see clearly."

Woman: "Why?"

Man: "They all aim with one eye when shooting."

Long humorous joke 4

Woman: "When I went out today, 90% of the women I saw were not as young and beautiful as me."

Man: "Did you go to a nursing home?"

Long humorous joke 5

I can't drink well. Two bottles of beer can make me drunk.

If my girlfriend tries to cheat me, she will coax me into drinking with her.

When I woke up this morning, I found my girlfriend looking at me with tears on her face. I must have said something I shouldn't have said last night.

"Honey, what I said last night is not true!" I quickly defended.

My girlfriend punched me hard: "Idiot, you proposed to me last night."

Long humorous joke 6

Chen Jinshan is a construction worker and an old lottery player. After buying lottery tickets for more than ten years, God finally opened his eyes and let him win the grand prize, with a total prize of 4 million! Chen Jinshan wanted to think. If you want to spend this money, spend it on your son!

School is about to start. Chen Jinshan runs around and spends a lot of money, and finally sends his son to the best "aristocratic kindergarten" in the city.

That night, after Chen Jinshan went to the kindergarten to pick up his son, he found the little guy very unhappy. Chen Jinshan asked inexplicably, "Son, why aren't you happy that Dad let you go to the best kindergarten?" The son said indignantly, "Dad, don't mention it. All the children in the class wear famous brands, call me a bumpkin and laugh at me. "

Chen Jinshan thought, yes. That evening, I took my son to the mall and bought several sets of brand-name children's clothes. The son grinned.

But after a few days, my son was unhappy again. Chen Jinshan was puzzled and asked, "What's the matter with you, son?" The son said sadly, "all the children in the class came to pick them up by car." They all make fun of me when you ride a broken bike. Nobody wants to play with me. "

Chen Jinshan think about it, too, this position is different, it is difficult to get along! So, Chen Jinshan went to buy a luxury car. Hey! The little guy suddenly became proud!

Before long, my son was unhappy again. Chen Jinshan asked his son what had happened. The son said sadly, "The children say that I am a foreigner and I am not qualified to attend an aristocratic kindergarten. Dad, you still let me go to another kindergarten! "

Chen Jinshan gritted his teeth and said, "It's all right, son. Dad is not broke. I want to buy a new house and see what they think. "

A few days later, Chen Jinshan bought a new house and moved his son's registered permanent residence.

Chen Jinshan thought, now that we have everything, our son must be very happy. But soon, my son became depressed and depressed again.

Chen Jinshan asked anxiously, "Son, now that we have everything, how can you still ..."

My son hesitated for a long time before he said timidly, "They laughed at me as the son of a peasant worker, saying that your hands are rough, your hair is messy, your clothes are rustic, and you are a bumpkin."

Chen Jinshan was dumbfounded. ...

Long humorous joke 7

Lao Li runs a small supermarket, opposite the public security bureau, and the business is not bad. The store is spacious, which is convenient for customers to park, but it also brings a lot of trouble: people who come to the public security bureau to do business, when they see nowhere to park, park their cars at the store door at will, which affects business. Lao Li wants to take care of it, but he can't keep staring and complain.

In desperation, Lao Li bought two "No Parking" signs, one left and one right standing at the door. This trick worked at first, but it gradually stopped working. They moved the sign aside and stopped. Lao Li gnashed her teeth with anger, but she was helpless.

After some hard thinking, Lao Li came up with a coup: he changed the "No Parking" sign to "Leadership Only". At first glance, it really looks like that. Sure enough, a few days passed and the door was empty. How dare you grab a parking space with the leader when you come to the Public Security Bureau to handle affairs? Lao Li finally breathed a sigh of relief, and the phenomenon of disorderly parking was finally solved!

On this day, a car came at the door and honked its horn several times in a row. Lao Li asked what was going on. The driver, a well-dressed man, said, "I'm here to buy something. Move the sign quickly. " Seeing the business, Lao Li immediately smiled: "Good!" Hurriedly moved the sign to one side.

Sure enough, he bought many things. After paying the money, he said, "put the things in my trunk!" " "Lao li is a little confused. It is not heavy. Why didn't he bring it with him? But I'm confused. I still serve well. After the man threw the car out, Lao Li put the sign "Leadership only" in its original position and said, "Leadership goes slow!" The man let out a cry and nodded slightly, looking satisfied.

Since then, the number of "leaders" who drive shopping has increased significantly. At the end of the month, Lao Li counted the turnover and found that the income increased a lot. Lao Li was very happy, but he was also puzzled: Why did this "leader" suddenly increase?

After several days of observation, Lao Li found that the cars of the "leaders" are all economical, all of which are under 50 years old, and they all look like government cars.

Finally, Lao Li suddenly realized that these people are used to pretending to be "grandchildren" at work, which is the addiction of leaders!

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