Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - The door panels were laid on the roof, the wooden frame was built, and the linoleum felt was used to surround and seal the back. As for the door, the plastic sheet was left. Almost all people living i

The door panels were laid on the roof, the wooden frame was built, and the linoleum felt was used to surround and seal the back. As for the door, the plastic sheet was left. Almost all people living i

The door panels were laid on the roof, the wooden frame was built, and the linoleum felt was used to surround and seal the back. As for the door, the plastic sheet was left. Almost all people living in the factory at that time became "shack dwellers", mainly concentrated in the factory gate, the fleet, and the factory prefabricated area. On the empty dams of the yard and foundry workshop. A few coworkers and I set up a shed on an empty dam at the prefabrication site that later became a service company. We all started working together and coordinated with each other freely. There were many families on our dam, so we built a shed. We get along pretty well together. At that time, while resisting the earthquake, we still maintained production. Basically, we still went to get off work and got off work, all relying on our own initiative. During most of the time of the earthquake, production has not been interrupted. The Jinzhou Chimney Beautification Company painted high-altitude letters on the chimney - painted the navigation mark color ring. The factory also put forward the slogan of resisting the earthquake and achieving high production, and often beat the gongs to welcome high production. Each workshop also went to the factory headquarters to report their concerns, which was very lively for a while. I remember that the first little red flag in our workshop was still attached to the equipment I was operating. Of course, that was not the era of reform and opening up. Definitely speaking, people were much simpler.

There are earthquake sheds, seismographs, and armed militiamen who are vigilant day and night, but they cannot deter God at all. During that time there were constant small earthquakes that would sneak up on us from time to time. It's a joke all the time. Some people ran away with their bare feet, some ran away without knowing what to do, and some held pillows like children. Every time after an earthquake, people would laugh. But yes, who can react so quickly at that moment? Take me for example. When the earthquake first started, I was sleeping together in the dormitory. It was already midnight, and I was suddenly awakened by a sharp knock on the door. It turned out that there had just been an earthquake, and it was my mother. The enemy knocked on the door hurriedly, so I threw on some clothes randomly and fled together in a panic to the central lecture hall below. It was dark and crowded with people, it was cold, and the electricity had stopped. Everyone looked at me eagerly. Looking forward to the dawn, it seems that there will be no earthquakes at dawn. It's funny to say, I was shocked for a long time and didn't know it at all, because I slept so bad at that time. But the next time I went back upstairs to get some groceries, I happened to be washing my hands in front of the water bucket. Suddenly, the water bucket knocked on my stomach for no reason, and I was surprised. La? Alas! No, when the earthquake comes, I run away. It turns out that this is an earthquake, a "shaking of the earth."

Since then, there have been more small earthquakes. Fortunately, real earthquakes have not visited us in the end. Every night, we sit by the earthquake shed and often look at the sky, watching the fiery clouds in the east sky disappear in a hurry, watching the twinkling stars appear one by one, and everyone in the world studying the mysterious night with words. When God changes his face, thunder rumbles, and lightning flashes, people take extra care, because our intuition tells us that storms are naturally triggering opportunities for earthquakes, as heaven and earth are connected. Of course, more time is spent playing cards and having fun. What is worth mentioning here is the factory armed militia. They braved the severe cold at night, stood guard and changed guard to protect the lives and property of the factory and employees. They were all consciously and forced to derelict in their duties. There are also the chefs in the canteen. No matter how tight the situation is, they stick to their posts and ensure the food supply in the canteen. During the few days when the situation was at its calmest, they even made a lot of steamed buns for everyone to prepare dry food for. At the time, they all felt that this was all natural and ordinary. Thinking about it now, they should be the most hateful people in the earthquake.

Just like this, in the epicenter of the small earthquake, the days passed by. The militiamen naturally went on duty and changed shifts, and the shack dwellers prepared water and food. The days were relatively calm, until we ushered in what I remember. The last earthquake, this is the one I remember most. It was five or six o'clock in the morning. Almost everyone was awakened by the earth. When they opened their eyes, they saw that the bed board they were sleeping on was moving back and forth sharply like a wave of wood. People felt like they were being thrown up, "bump, bump, bump" It went back and forth several times. Then there was loud gunfire outside, and white flares rose into the sky. It was the militiamen announcing that "an earthquake is coming."

After this, the earth gradually became quiet, and people's lives gradually became normal. Earthquake shelters were erected, production resumed, people who went out to avoid the earthquake also returned one after another, and Jinjiang Factory resumed operations. started her pace.

Speaking of which, I can't really tell the "feeling" of this earthquake at all, but there happened to be someone who was talking to me. She was the general manager of our workshop who is from Tianjin. She hurriedly fled back to Tianjin, but she didn't expect that there was no big earthquake here. , ran back but encountered the Tangshan Earthquake head-on. In fact, Naruto couldn't laugh or cry, so when it came to "feeling the earthquake", she was the qualified one.

Rattan Chair

Pan Huiliang

When I first arrived in Sichuan, everything felt new. There are a lot of things like going to the market, exchanging food stamps for eggs, "Magnolia officinalis" coughing randomly, and even "Chicken Feet" from the back of the mountain being eaten as fruit. But the most popular among them is the wicker chair.

Bamboo is dismantled and rattan is woven. It is strong and light. It is cool to sit on it in summer. In winter, you can spread out a cotton pad and it will still be warm. When you need to take a nap or something, just put your legs down. Put it on the arm of the chair and you will have a good sleep.

This wicker chair is really good. It is found in every house. When it comes to weekend movies, it shows its skills even more. Think about it, in the entertainment environment of third-tier factories and mines in the future, only "Baba" movies can be called authentic spiritual enjoyment. As for carrying a "ba ba" movie, due to laws and regulations related to real estate sales, it is natural to bring a seat, and the wicker chair is so light that it can be lifted up and buckled on the abdomen to lift the legs and walk, which is not troublesome at all. Looking at it from lying down, it looks like a hard bench.

So every weekend, as early as in the morning or as late as midnight, the wicker chairs began to occupy the space and reserve seats for the guests. By the time I got off work, the space where the movie was played was densely packed with chairs and stools, the most eye-catching one being the rattan chair Wu Xin. As a result, the holiday atmosphere has also reached a climax. People hurried home, and after a while, the whole living area became quiet, friends and enemies urged each other, and they kept asking whether the wicker chairs had been put up first. At that moment, people were in a good mood, but after all, life was still very empty. So I want to thank the "Baba" movie, and I also want to thank the wicker chairs.

But in the workshop, I never sat on the wicker chair. Because it is not just for people to sit on, it is also a status symbol. Generally in the workshop, only the main exemption level can be obtained. As for planning team leaders and the like, it is necessary to "do it" to see if there is any relationship. Jilin High Altitude Maintenance Company Chimney Maintenance - Chimney Reinforcement - Chimney Anti-corrosion, at least you must have the opportunity to do so. enjoy. As for individual office cadres, naturally they can only receive hard stools. Of course, the distribution is a little looser in departments, but department heads and the like are relatively at the level of cane chairs. As in the factory, the family is also large. The head of the family, first of all, the father, who is in charge, must be sure to sit, but the male servants also sit, because wicker chairs are often purchased in pairs. As for the children, only Can steal space.

Having said that, since these wicker chairs are so good, why not buy more for everyone to sit on, but at that time, the country was still poor, and it was necessary to be diligent and thrifty to make revolution. Our monthly salary is only 30 to 40 yuan, and a wicker chair costs at least 7 to 8 yuan. Although it is not a big expense, it is still considered expensive. I bought two wicker chairs, and my wife almost broke her tongue when negotiating the price with "Old Town". It was not easy. Think about it, it is not easy to make a rattan chair. You need to select bamboo, then bake it straight and bent over the fire, peel and discard the rattan, cut it open, smoke it, and then weave it row by row and circle by circle. Handicrafts, you can tell it’s not easy when you look at the fine and precise hands of those craftsmen.

So this natural specialty has naturally become a good product to send back to your hometown. It's a rare thing in those big cities. But here comes the problem again. Even though it has so many advantages, I always feel that it is too honest. In a "fancy" metropolis, the wicker chair must be at least a little fancy. For example, there is a mouth for a tea cup on the arm of the chair, or there is a lace woven to the top of the chair. In short, it looks a bit uglier, so I keep paying attention, but unfortunately I can't see it.

So I made up my mind to go to the place called "Haiwozi" in the mountains, because it is said that there is a special cane chair workshop there. There must be many craftsmen and many styles. . But I didn't expect that after I arrived after all the hard work, I still gave up my wish. But the ups and downs of the mountain road will never be forgotten.

There were no short-distance buses at that time, and I had to rely on two legs to go out. I was happy when I went there, but I could still support myself, but I was miserable when I came back. Looking at the mountain on one side and the river on the other, the straight and undulating mountain road, and the tractor running back and forth with smoke and fog behind it, I felt worried. Suddenly, I saw the tractor in front of me stopped and took away a passerby, so I thought I would try to hitch a ride. I stretched out my hand to stop the tractor, but to my surprise, the tractor driver was very straightforward. Without saying a word, he summoned me to sit next to him. Then, on the cushion paved with car inner tubes, a new experience began. The smooth road, the feeling of being thrown up and down, the scorching summer day, the whistling wind, and the tractor driver’s face that was tanned by years of hard work and his salty face. "No need to thank you" indifferently. I finally blushed. I couldn't buy the wicker chair I wanted, because everything here was so solid and down-to-earth.

Sparks in the "run-in period"

Pan Huiliang

Most of the third-tier factories and mines are close to green mountains and green waters, far away from the city. This is almost the same. Not is everyone’s cries. But when it comes to asking for a partner, there are many different opinions. Is it a brother's factory or mine, a cooperative unit, or a supporting enterprise? Take our Jinjiang factory as an example. It is surrounded by hills in the north and wilderness in the south. It looks like a castle or an isolated island. What is around it is naturally vast farmland.

This farm world nurtures us, and we also provide opportunities to this world. Farmers come to the factory to pay arrears, do business, and lose extra money. The factory employees buy grain, vegetables, and daily necessities from them. This is called being incompatible and dependent on each other.

But this close relationship is not just flat. In modern words, it has to go through a "torture period", and some sharp teeth must be knocked out before it will be flat. Why is this? It turns out that farmers have farmers' habits, and factories have their own factory regulations. When these two come together, they will inevitably collide many times. No, this has happened many times since the establishment of the factory, and it is not surprising, but this time it was not the case, because there was a spark.

This incident originated from farmers coming to the factory to pick up fertile soil. At that time, the toilets in the factory were all dry toilets, and the nearby production teams came to water the fields. This was a lose-lose situation. But this farmer always comes to pick at random, and the factory stipulates that they must come after the factory is closed. The working hours must be orderly, and they have always been unable to coordinate. This time there was friction again. Both sides were impatient. One wanted to come in, but the other refused. The factory guard couldn't resist. A call was made to the factory headquarters. The factory director and the armed minister in charge of the guard rushed over. Unexpectedly, both parties were so excited that they couldn't control it and even took action. Those farmers were "first come first to the moon", so they picked up the pole and waved it, beating the armed minister and the factory director. This made the armed militiamen beside them anxious. In desperation, they started to fight That useless submachine gun is just a shuttle in the morning sky.

But the sound of gunfire did not attract the attention of the surrounding workshops. The machines roared and could not be heard. But the single men's dormitory outside the factory gate heard it. Those single boys heard that the factory director was beaten, and the factory gate was in panic and exploded. Those warm-blooded young men and reckless young men were unwilling to comply, so they rushed downstairs with sticks and sticks, and met the farmers head-on. The two sides did not even talk, and a melee broke out. Now the farmers suffered a big loss. Think about it, the young men in the factory were all strong and very strong, and they were able to beat the farmers away in just a few blows.

Now things have become serious. This is the first time I have fought with nearby farmers. How can this farmer who has suffered a loss be willing to give up and rest! Sure enough, the connecting car returning to the factory brought news that the commune's armed militia was gathering. For a moment, the clouds were overcast and the atmosphere was relaxed. So the factory held an emergency meeting to first ensure the safety of all factory workers and organize defense. All factory workers were not allowed to go out to prevent the situation from expanding, and on the other hand, organize the solution.

As a result, the whole factory entered a "war" state. Fortunately, the experience of civil and military attacks was still vivid in our minds, and everyone armed themselves with bars, poles, iron bars, iron bars, and helmets. , fire helmets, the helmets were burning for a while, and the sticks were shaking.

Each unit then went to designated defense locations. Of course, everyone did not take note of the injured and went to the infirmary to visit them. Minister Yang repeatedly told everyone to be vigilant and defensive, and to organize and report on the situation. So our workshop went upstairs to the reception hall. It was like a fortress on the roof of the building, and all the male colleagues were on duty to defend it that night. Then the bass loudspeaker sounded, and Yu Xuewen, a Tianjin native with excellent eloquence in the factory, broadcast "I will not attack anyone unless they attack me, but if they attack me, I will attack them" and so on. Fighting songs such as "I am standing still" and other war songs inspired everyone's morale. So we kept our eyes wide open and carefully searched the bamboo forests and fields below, and sounded the war alarm as soon as there was any sign of danger. But there was no movement, so the broadcast stopped, and everyone slacked off, smoking and chatting. Late at night, naps also came, so I wrapped myself in my coat and went to sleep. When it got dark, I was laid off from work. After asking around, no fighting was taking place. It was said that a small group of farmers planned to invade, but they were frightened by the tight barriers and did not dare to stay calm. Then a few young men from "Sichuan Touo" were so idle that they took the initiative to attack and recovered a lot of stolen wood from a farmer's household. The farmers who are close to the factory have already left their homes to ensure safety.

So Wen Tian took a rest and worked at night. The stalemate lasted for two days, and everyone was a little out of breath. If you can't get in or get out, being trapped on an isolated island is no solution! Besides, life is also difficult. So people became anxious, and no one knew who had an idea, "Go to the factory director!" So with a bang, everyone gathered downstairs under the manager Chen, who was in charge of life, and asked for a solution to the problem. The crowd was willing to stand there and could not get off the stage. Suddenly someone hurriedly came to the factory director and whispered a few words quietly. The old factory director's expression changed drastically and he shouted to the factory militia captain: "Dai Zengsha, there is something wrong." "Hurry up and gather your troops." As soon as the crowd heard something was going on, they naturally dispersed with a bang. Of course, there are also "experts" who smile and say, "What the hell, you've been deceived." Even if it is a joke now, everyone already knew at that time that Jinjiang Factory was not a "paradise". It was inseparable from the vast world below, not to mention the turbulent Civilization Revolution, the "Civil Attack and Military Guard" "It has long become history. Fuzhou High Altitude Demolition Company's chimney demolition - water tower and iron tower demolition, everyone is just panicking and looking forward to solving the problem as soon as possible."

The matter was indeed resolved smoothly. On the third day, the radio rang and read out a joint statement between the factory and Longfeng Commune. The incident was resolved properly after consultation. The commune ensured the safety of employees when going out, and they were free to go to the market, buy groceries, travel, etc. Enshi High Altitude Maintenance Company Chimney Maintenance- Chimney reinforcement-chimney anti-corrosion, the factory also welcomes nearby farmers to come to the factory to do business, work, etc., and the matter suddenly cleared up. It turns out that Secretary Cong of the Party Committee and others are very clear-headed and have been negotiating for a solution for a long time. Besides, the commune secretary is not just a "bastard". I heard that the first thing he did was not to allow the commune's armed militia to be dispatched. There was no internal conflict among the people. It is necessary to use knives and guns, not to mention the era of "rectifying chaos". I also heard that the nearby farmers were too panicked and couldn't come to the factory. Wouldn't it be cutting off their income? The farmers who caused trouble were too excited. Besides, if they were injured, there would be no place to pay for the medical expenses.

No one expected that this spark that disappeared was so dull and fierce when it arrived, but it dissipated so mediocre and artificial. After the incident, no one mentioned it again, as if it had never happened. But after this, there was no more conflict. We learned to restrain ourselves and learn to get along, because we finally understood that no one wanted to lose anyone because we were friends. Loading, please wait...

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