What jokes are funny?

1. I went home after eating out one night.

Go to a remote place with dim lights,

I suddenly caught a white shadow out of the corner of my eye.

Suddenly I turned around and there was nothing.

But I can always see a white shadow following me.

When I got home, I found there was still a white shadow, and I was very scared.

When I washed my face, I found a grain of rice in the corner of my eye.

2. Go to the school canteen to cook rice and cook Sichuan style pork.

There were only potato chips in the bowl.

He asked angrily, "Dude, where's the meat?"

I heard a faint sentence: "Go back to the pot!"

Editor: Sir, your article is too loose.

Author: According to prose? I agree.

Editor: But it's too messy.

Author: Then write an essay.

Editor: The work seems too naive.

Author: Then send it according to fairy tales.

Editor: To be honest, there is nothing new.

Author: Really? Then send it in ancient Chinese.

4. Teacher: "Principal, recently many parents complain that their children's schoolbags are too heavy."

Principal: "Yes, children carry such a heavy schoolbag every day.

Walking so far to school,

It is equivalent to carrying out weight-bearing walking twice a day.

The amount of exercise is really large enough. "

Teacher: "How to solve it?"

Principal: "Let's cancel physical education class from next semester!"

A man saw a note on the ground that read:

"Dig 5 meters underground and you will find the treasure."

So he dug a pit 5 meters deep, and as a result,

Found a note that read:

"Dig down 10 meter and you will find the treasure."

So he dug 10 meter again.

Finally, he found a note that read:

"I'm just kidding you. Now try to climb up. "

6. Teacher: "How to tell the difference between an octopus's hands and feet?"

Student: "Give it a fart to smell,

Hands cover your nose, and the rest are your feet.

7. Monkeys and goats walk a tightrope together.

The monkey jumped on the goat's back and shouted:

Brother Yang, don't shake, I'm dizzy!

"I don't want to shake, shake, who the fuck connected the wire and electricity!"

8. My husband just came home from work and asked his wife:

"What's delicious to cook today?"

The wife gently replied:

"Very rich! Braised beef, seafood, prawns, pickled chicken feet, chopped green onion ribs, black pepper steak ... "

My husband's mouth watered.

Hurriedly interrupted: "Wife, that's very kind of you! ! "

The wife went on to say:

"So many flavors of instant noodles, which one do you want to eat?"

9. A colleague of the company bought a cup.

It says "I want a raise",

Tell these words to the boss at every meeting.

Finally one day, the boss also bought a cup.

It says "Go away again"!

10. Go to KFC for an interview alone. The manager asked, "Can you type?"

A: "No."

The manager asked, "Can you dance?"

A: "No."

The manager asked, "What can you do?"

A: "I can sing."

The manager said, "well, then you can sing a song."

Sing: "more choices, more laughter, at McDonald's!" " "