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Will Ma Baonan be afraid of divorce (listen to the advice of this divorced woman)
I'm East lin xi Pavilion. If you have a story, come to me.
Every woman has an ideal expectation for marriage in her heart, and she knows what she wants from marriage and men. Among all the requirements that women have for men, one thing has to be mentioned, that is, men are required to have their own opinions. No woman wants to marry a man who has no opinion, because a man who has no opinion gives a woman the feeling that he is insecure and not worthy of relying on. When it comes to men who have no opinions, I have to mention "Ma Baonan". Such men are typical men who have no opinions, and almost all women will be very resistant to marrying such men. Therefore, it is completely understandable that many women finally divorce because men have no opinions. The following reader's divorce reason is also the same, because her husband is a "mother-in-law". Xiao Li, female, 28 years old
In fact, before I met him, I had heard of cases in which women divorced because men were "Mamao men", and I had seen many cases in movies and TV, so I was very resistant to such men from then on, and told myself from then on that I should never marry such men in the future, regardless of love or marriage.
Maybe it's because I haven't dealt with "Ma Bao Nan", so although I am against this kind of man in my heart, I don't have a clear criterion for judging whether a man is a Ma Bao Nan. It is for this reason that I didn't measure this when he pursued me. He behaved like a normal man in front of me, and I had a good impression of him as a whole, so he fell in love with her after he confessed to me.
After falling in love, I feel good. He follows me in everything and makes me make up my mind. I feel good. I think he is a good man who takes me as the center of gravity. He took the initiative to hand over the control of love to me. I am very happy and think he is very sensible. Officially, because I have the initiative in love, I ignore whether he has an opinion on love. Because everything is my decision, he never has an opinion. As a result, such love has brought me the illusion, and I feel very smooth, so when he proposed to get married, I agreed.
speaking of which, you may not find anything. On the surface, it seems that we are really going well. In fact, all the problems naturally emerge after marriage.
From the time we got engaged, and from his performance in their home, I felt something was wrong, because his mother was talking all the time, and he kept his head down. When my parents asked him questions several times, his mother answered for him. Because the two parents had a smooth conversation at that time, everyone ignored his performance at that time. However, after living together every day after marriage, I suddenly realized that his performance at the time of engagement was only the most obvious side of his problem.
after marriage, my mother-in-law will come to our house every day to make breakfast, wash clothes and cook dinner for us. At that time, I felt very embarrassed. After all, he and I are both adults, and it is a bit wrong to be taken care of by my mother-in-law all day. I just told my mother-in-law not to do this in the future. I'll do it and let her come over for dinner sometime. However, my mother-in-law disagreed, and the reason given was, "It's not that I think you can't take care of him well, but that his appetite is very awkward. Only I know what he likes to eat. If you cook for him, he will be in trouble if he is picky!" I didn't believe it at that time, so I kept telling my mother-in-law to let me do it. My mother-in-law compromised, and I was in charge of all the housework from the next day. As a result, problems appeared from then on.
He didn't see his mother-in-law when he got up in the morning. He asked me like a child, "Where's my mother? Why didn't you come today? What shall we eat if she doesn't come? " I told him that I made breakfast, and he looked unhappy. "I don't want to eat, I want to eat the rice cooked by my mother." I don't like anyone who cooks except my mother. " At that time, I was very unhappy when he said these words, but I didn't show it. I patiently told him, "How do you know if you don't like it if you don't eat it? You have to try! You can't rely on your mother all your life! " He didn't talk in anger. When I brought the breakfast to him, he only looked at it and said, "What is this? I called my mother and asked her to come and do it. " I stopped him and asked him to try it again. He held his nose and took a sip. Before swallowing it, he spit it out, saying it tasted terrible. I was annoyed by his behavior of trampling on the fruits of my labor. I told him in anger, "Forget it! Let your mother come and do it for you! " At this time, I feel that every man who has his own opinions can see that I am unhappy and should coax me. And he didn't care about me at all. He really called his mother-in-law and asked her to come and cook.
when my mother-in-law came, she saw that our faces were not right, and then she looked at the food on the table and suddenly understood. She scolded him a few words and ran to the kitchen to cook. She called me in, closed the door and said to me, "Don't be common sense with him. He has been such a bad temper since he was a child. He has always been like a little child, so he has to let me make decisions for him." I thought my mother-in-law was on my side, so I followed her words and said, "When he was in love with me before, I felt quite good! How can it become like this after marriage? " Mother-in-law smiled, "when you are in love? Alas! I'm not afraid of your jokes. I taught him how to chase you, confess to you and treat you after falling in love. I am sometimes embarrassed, so big a person, even I have to teach love! "
after listening to my mother-in-law's words, my whole heart suddenly became cold. I didn't expect him to be such a man without a definite view. Three words popped up in my mind: Ma Baonan. Just as I was about to continue reviewing his previous performance, he pushed open the door without looking at me and asked her mother-in-law, "Mom, what am I wearing today? Where did you put my printed T-shirt? " In the process of asking and answering questions with his mother-in-law, I observed his behavior and expression, and I really didn't have any opinions at all.
From that day on, his image in my heart collapsed. I used to be the most resistant to Ma Baonan, but now I actually married a Ma Baonan. After realizing this, when I was alone with him again, I found that the trace of his "baby boy" became more and more serious, and I always said, "I have to ask my mother first", "What should I do if my mother doesn't agree?" I have to ask my mother's advice. I didn't care about it deliberately before, so I didn't find it. Now that I care, I feel that his whole person is completely dominated by his mother. He is my husband in name, but in fact he is my mother-in-law's marionette. This makes me feel very uncomfortable. I'm not married to him, but my mother-in-law and I are married. It's so sad.
Later, there were more and more similar problems. Even some trivial things he had to ask his mother-in-law before making a decision. This was his decision, and it was clearly his mother-in-law's decision. I was his wife, but I became a decoration. When I was in love before, I made all the decisions, and my mother-in-law taught him that. Now that I'm married and my mother-in-law is around, I never have a chance to make up my mind again. What's the point of such a marriage if I want it? I can't figure out what the meaning of our marriage is.
Only when I married Ma Baonan did I know that what was said in those TV dramas was true: when a woman marries Ma Baonan, she is doomed to divorce, and no woman can stand such a man who has no opinion.
Although my mother-in-law is very nice, I can't spend my whole life with her. He is my husband, but he is a man of no opinion. Do I have to live with such a man all my life? That's absolutely impossible. I have to get a divorce.
even in the matter of divorce, he has no opinion of his own, and in the end, my mother-in-law and I talked about divorce. My mother-in-law was very reluctant to part with me, saying that she liked me very much and advised me not to divorce. However, I can't help it. If I don't get a divorce, I'll have to feel bad every day. I can't stand it. I didn't denigrate him in front of my mother-in-law. I just said that we were not suitable, that I was tired and wanted to live alone. I think my mother-in-law should be able to understand the real reason for my divorce. She didn't say anything, but she agreed to our divorce when she couldn't persuade her.
After the divorce, I lived alone, and I felt relaxed without the nagging of Ma Baonan. It was like being reborn. I don't regret divorcing him. If I had to choose again, I would still choose divorce. I hate men who don't have their own opinions. I hate Mambo. Now I have experienced it myself. I already know how to identify Mambo. I will forget it if I don't get married in the future. If I get married again, I will never let myself marry another Mambo.
I don't understand, how exactly did Ma Baonan develop? What's the point of a man who is so old and still depends on his mother for everything? Emotional suggestion of East lin xi Pavilion:
It is not difficult to understand how a baby boy is brought up. Most parents are willing to make decisions for their children all the time because of doting. Children always accept this arrangement, and it is easy to become a baby boy when they grow up. It has become a habit to have no opinion since childhood. When it comes to making decisions by yourself, it is normal for Ma Baonan to push the problem to his parents. In the meantime, parents deprive their children of the right to be their own masters, and children have no sense of being their own masters. In fact, there are problems in both aspects. After a man has developed this problem of having no opinion, if nothing else, he must have no opinion when dealing with love and marriage. A man has no opinion. No matter which woman he marries, if a woman has a little opinion, she can't stand such a man. Divorce is a matter of time.
In fact, if that reader had met his mother when he was in love, he would have found out that he was a mother-in-law. His mother also knows that he is a baby boy, so she will teach him how to fall in love and hide it until after marriage. However, Ma Bao-nan is Ma Bao-nan, and no matter how you hide it, it will give away sooner or later. At that time, when women can't stand it, they will still choose to divorce, just like that reader.
I want to say to that reader, "You can't stand men who don't have opinions, you can't stand Ma Baonan, and you finally choose to divorce. This is understandable, because you are a person who has opinions on marriage. You have learned from this marriage yourself. I hope you can keep your word. If you don't want to marry a man who doesn't have an opinion, then judge when you are in love. If you have an opinion on love and marriage, then do it your own way, so that everything will be smooth. "
I want to say to all men: I hope that after reading this reader's story, you can learn some lessons from it, and don't let yourself become a man with no opinion. Not only love and marriage, you should have your own opinions on everything, so that you are you. What's the point of living if you listen to your parents, others, others and others. Especially when dealing with love and marriage, you must have your own opinions, which is a key point for women to measure whether a man is suitable. If you lack this point, even if you are married in love, it is easy to get divorced.
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