A love letter to Jia Ming

Jiaming, it's midnight in B city, and all the students in the dormitory are fast asleep, but I can't sleep. So I got up, turned on my cell phone flashlight, wrapped the blanket tightly, and wrote this letter to you under the covers. Although there is a slight chill in October night, I don't feel cold at all, because I miss you in my heart. On the contrary, at the thought of writing to you, my whole body is hot, my heart is pounding with excitement, and even my hand holding the pen is shaking slightly. So, if my handwriting is not so neat, it is because of excitement. Please forgive me.

We have been busy with military training since we entered the university for more than a month. You may not know that I have never loved sports, so this activity is still very challenging for me. We gather in the east playground of the school at 5: 30 every morning, wearing uniform camouflage uniforms. The instructor is a very young soldier. According to classmates, he is a local garrison. He is tall, thin and handsome, a bit like you. Oh, no, he has dark circles under his eyes. He always feels very tired, as if he lacks sleep, which is very different from your daily mental state. You know, in the past three years, the way you played basketball on the playground in your sportswear left an indelible impression on me. Every time after class, I like to appreciate your figure from the classroom window, which has become a compulsory course in my daily life. I can see you from the crowd at a glance. Because you are the tallest among our classmates, of course, your gait and manner are different and stand out from the crowd. I especially like watching you run with the ball, so crazy, so hard, so focused. It seems that basketball is your life and the playground is your stage. I admire and envy your energy.

Of course, I didn't notice you from the beginning. From elementary school to high school, I never had anything in my mind except study, and I didn't notice any boys. I pay attention to you because my deskmate in senior one is small. I remember that it was the day of last semester in senior one. I clearly remember that I was sitting in the classroom with Xiao, and I was reviewing my textbooks. Little boy suddenly poked me with his hand and motioned me to look out. I looked out in the direction of her hand and saw a perfect picture. Under the blue sky, you are wearing a white shirt and jeans, and your bright smile and sunshine are mixed together. That face is so vivid and young. My confused heart suddenly felt a strange feeling, an unprecedented feeling. For the first time, there are two kinds of people: good-looking and bad-looking. And you, for me, are about what is a good enlightenment textbook. It's been so long since school started, I didn't even notice that there were such handsome boys in my class. I couldn't help looking at it. Little boy leaned in and whispered in my ear, "Do you know that Su Jiaming is the most handsome boy in our school? What do you think? " "What? I never pay attention to these. " I looked down, pretending to say. I don't want to participate in this discussion with girls. It seems boring. Seeing that I didn't care at all, Xiao sighed: "alas, such a handsome boy doesn't know how to appreciate it." It's a waste of time. "

Although I pretended not to care, I couldn't help paying attention to you from that day on. Indeed, compared with other boys in the class, you stand out. Because of the tall figure and beautiful facial features, you can wear a shirt casually and have the taste of a movie star. I especially like the way you play on the playground in a white shirt and jeans and a pair of white sneakers. You are really invincible in youth. And your smile is always so happy and charming. Slowly, I began to capture all traces of you intentionally or unintentionally. In the morning, when did you come? In the evening, when did you leave? Where were you after each class? What did you do? I know all these things almost like a spy. Even my glasses were involved in your investigation. Because you are tall, you are arranged to sit at the back of the classroom by the teacher. I want to see you, but I can't let my classmates find you. I have to hold my glasses and focus on your figure from the lens. Sometimes I only see part of your hair, sometimes I can see your whole face, and sometimes I can see your whole body after you stand up. Alas, I am so keen on this kind of action that I wear those glasses all day, and even the little boy gradually thinks there is something wrong with me. But she never imagined that I was looking for you with those glasses and capturing your figure.

Speaking of these absurd behaviors, Jia Ming, I'm a little embarrassed. But you attract me so much that I can't hold anything in my mind except you. After all, I was only fifteen years old three years ago, and you are the first boy I like in my life. Because of you, I have changed from an excellent student who has been studying hard and getting good grades to an ordinary student who worries my parents and teachers. The teacher began to talk to me, and my parents began to discipline me, but none of these can make my attention return to the textbook from you. In my heart, you are so important, so magical, and you are everything.

Those days, when I woke up from my sleep in the morning, the first thing I thought of was you, Jia Ming. Before going to bed at night, it was you, Jia Ming, who was in a daze. Jia Ming, you may never understand my passion for your feelings. Because I am too depressed to explain this to you. After all, you are so handsome and attract the attention of so many girls. I know little A has always liked you. Her heart tells me, but my heart doesn't want to tell her. How can everyone at the same table like a boy? Besides, I have more pride and more inferiority compared with Xiao.

But Jia Ming, I'm curious. Have you really not noticed me at all in these three years? One morning I came to the classroom, and in the corridor, I met you striding out of the classroom. You seem to be smiling at me and want to say hello to me, but as soon as I saw you, I was at a loss. I can't even look at you. I quickly lowered my head and rushed past you with a red face. Another time, on the playground, I watched you play, but I didn't expect the ball to fly through the air and land at my feet. I hesitated for a long time before I bent down to pick it up. When I looked up, I saw you flying over. You took the ball from me, smiled and said, thank you. I was so embarrassed that I didn't even say "you're welcome", so I bowed my head and left in a hurry. There have been many similar situations. Jia Ming, if you are a sensitive and caring boy, maybe you should see that I am unusual to you. But maybe you didn't notice me at all. Maybe you just casually talked to other boys about me and casually said, "so-and-so?" Well, she is a shy and quiet girl. " I think maybe that's it. Every time I think about this situation, I can't help but feel depressed and sad. I think if I were more beautiful, taller, smoother, more lively and bolder, you would definitely notice me. It's a pity that I really don't have any other advantages except my grades are acceptable. I am so silent, so introverted, so shy, but my heart is so rich and sensitive. All these factors prevent me from taking one more step towards you.

Cute is hard to hide. That strong feeling overwhelmed me. I can't keep silent any longer. I want to confess to you. I decided to buy you a present. What should I buy? At the weekend, I wandered around the street all day until I was exhausted. Finally, I saw a crystal heart in the boutique. Transparent crystal, warm and clean, so beautiful, I really can't put it down. I looked at the price. It's 400 yuan. This is a very expensive number for me. After all, my family is very ordinary, and my parents give me very limited pocket money every month. I don't have that 400 yuan. I had to leave in anger.

However, the next weekend, I went again. I still can't let go of that crystal heart. Looking at the perfect appearance, I decided to borrow money from my parents and relatives. At that time, my second aunt's family was well-off, so I had the cheek to come to her house and lied about buying study materials and borrowed 200 yuan from her. Together with my usual savings, I took 50 yuan from my parents. I chipped in 400 yuan and bought this crystal. I put it in a beautiful paper bag like a baby and decided to give it to you myself.

However, before I gave you this carefully selected gift, I heard a shocking news from Xiao A. You have been pursuing a girl in the temporary class. That girl is our head flower, beautiful and well-off. I froze when I heard it. A heart has fallen to the extreme. Little ah has been chattering in front of me, saying how you like that girl since junior high school, and how you worked hard to get into a famous high school in our county from a poor student for her. I don't listen to anything, but I feel a kind of extreme loss and deeper inferiority. It's a good thing I haven't sent the gift out yet, otherwise, in your eyes, wouldn't I be a joke?

Soon, I confirmed Xiao's words through my own eyes. It was the New Year's Day party at the end of last semester in Senior Two. I sat with you under the stage to watch the program. This is the first time I have sat so close to you, as if I could smell the faint sweat on you, mixed with the body odor of men. My heart keeps beating and I can't concentrate on my performance. How I wish your beautiful eyes could look at me or take the initiative to say a word to me. You know, sometimes I think you may have noticed me and even like me a little. Although there is no reason for such speculation, it is a good hope in my subconscious. However, all night, you didn't look at me, just staring at her performance on the stage. She is really beautiful, with long hair, white clothes and aura. Her wonderful posture attracted the attention of all the boys, who cheered for her, including you, and were crazy about it. I can't describe the way you looked at her that night, so focused, so fascinated, so full of love. I believe that's the way I secretly look at you. My heart is broken. Jiaming, you are the first man I fell in love with in my life, and the first man I fell in love with.

When I happened to see you riding her home in the street, I knew more about your relationship with her. Back home, looking at the transparent crystal, I only shed tears silently. I hate myself, why be so ordinary, why not be a great beauty. If I were a beauty, I could win your favor with no effort. I am full of despair and helplessness. For the first time in my life, I felt desperate and began to doubt the meaning of survival.

My grades got worse and worse until I was at the bottom of my class. Parents are full of fear. I am the only child in my family and all their hopes. I can't imagine what a blow it will be to them if I don't get into college. My helpless mother has been sighing about my grades all day, Lacrimosa. The wrinkles on her face hurt my heart deeply. Did you sink? No. My life should not be like this. No one can save me except myself. I seem to be awake. Six months before the college entrance examination, I picked up my books again and worked hard day and night. Finally admitted to the present university.

Therefore, lovelorn love has brought me endless pain and strength. Jia Ming, in this sense, I am very grateful to you. I am grateful to meet you at the best age. I miss the time we spent together.

Just Jia Ming. I didn't forget you when I came to a foreign land. On the contrary, in the past month, I missed you crazily than ever before. I miss your white shirt, your smile and your heroic posture on the playground. Because of missing, tonight is destined to be another sleepless night. Jia Ming, I love you. Through Qian Shan, on this white stationery, I can finally get it off my chest. Whether you love me or not in this life, I will love you crazily and have no regrets.

It's late at night, and my mobile phone is dying, so I have to stop writing. I know that after all this talk, you must want to know who I am. Sorry, Jia Ming, I can't tell you yet. However, if you break up with her, please don't be so anxious to find your next girlfriend first, because I will always be here waiting for you. As for who little A is, I won't tell you for the time being. Otherwise, you will know who I am. I still don't have the courage to face you

Jia Ming, let's call it a day. I won't address this letter. I'll give it to a friend and ask her to send it for me. I will continue to write to you. I hope you can feel at ease to repeat, and I will cheer for you and bless you. Good night, Jia Ming.

Some day in April, 20 17. Love, little B.