Healthy jokes. at least 5

It is said that two mental patients finally escaped from the mental hospital.

But after leaving the door, you have to climb over 100 walls to reach the highway.

They climbed 60 walls together, and one of them, who was mentally ill, asked the other: "Brother, are you tired?"

The other replied that he was not tired.

He said it was not tiring, so let’s continue reading.

When they climbed to the 99th wall, one psychopath asked another psychopath: "Brother, are you tired?"

The other replied: "I'm tired! Let's go back!"

So they turned back again...

The rich man's long-term worker was clearing snow in the yard. The rich man's wife was sitting on the warm kang

to warm herself up by the fire. Through the door and window, she saw the long-term worker sweeping away a burst of snow, and then she licked her hands with her mouth, covered her ears

and shouted loudly: "You lazy fool, is it too cold in such a warm weather? "

The long-term worker was not angry and said: "Master, the cold outside is worse than a knife!"

The rich man said: "I don't believe it" and stabbed him. He tore the window paper, stretched out a finger to try it, and said, "It's not cold."

The Chang Gong was very angry. Unexpectedly, she cut the finger with a knife. The rich man's wife said "Hey

yo" and hurriedly retracted her finger and said: "There is really a knife outside!" Fortunately, I smoked quickly!

Three turtles came to a restaurant and ordered three cakes. As soon as the food was served, they realized that they didn't have any money.

The big turtle said. : I’m the oldest, so of course I don’t need to go back to get the money.

The middle turtle said: It’s best to send the little turtle.

The little turtle said: I can go back to get the money, but after I leave, No one is allowed to touch my cake! The big turtle and the middle turtle agreed.

Because the belly was empty, the big turtle quickly finished his share of the cake. , the little turtle disappeared. On the third day, the big and medium turtles were really hungry, and they all said at the same time: Let’s just eat the little turtle’s share.

Just when they were about to eat, The little turtle's voice came from next door: "If you dare to touch my cake, I won't go back to withdraw the money! ”

A man raised a pig and was annoyed by it, so he wanted to throw it away. However, the pig knew the way home and he threw it away many times without success. One day, the man abandoned the pig while driving. , called his wife that night and asked: "Has the pig returned?" "His wife said: "Go home. The man was very angry and yelled: "Hurry up and let him answer the phone. I'm lost." ”

The breeding roosters in a chicken farm were a little old, and the owner decided to buy a new rooster for breeding. The young rooster was bought and met the old breeding chickens proudly.

The old rooster said: "I know you look down on me. Remember, everyone has their youth.

How about we have a race today? If you win, do you see it? "The old rooster pointed to the little hens in the yard and said, "They are all yours." The little rooster was confident and asked, "How can I run away?" The old rooster said: "Run 20 laps around the house, whoever finishes first wins." ”

Only two or three laps after the start, the little rooster was already half a lap ahead. By the 8th lap, the little rooster was only two meters ahead of the old rooster. At this moment, the old rooster screamed, The owner of the house thought a weasel was coming, so he rushed out of the house with a shotgun. He saw the newly bought little rooster chasing after the old rooster. The owner was so angry that he raised his gun and shot the little rooster.

The owner of the farm walked into the house angrily and said to himself: "What a damn unlucky guy. Why are all the roosters I bought gay? I killed four of them!"

Once there was a tortoise and a hare race... ....The rabbit quickly ran to the front...

The tortoise saw a snail crawling very slowly... and said to him: Come up, I'll carry you...

Then... the snail came up...

After a while... The turtle saw another ant... and said to him: Come up too...

So the ant also came up.

After the ant came up... saw the snail above... and said to him: Hello

Do you know what the snail said?

The snail said: Hurry up, this turtle is so fast...

There are 3 mice: American mouse, British mouse and Hong Kong mouse who met in Hong Kong .

The American mouse said: Our mice are very capable. They eat all the rat poison they see. They are very hungry.

The British mouse said: Our mice are very capable. Rats are fine. After eating rat poison, they pull the rat trap to exercise and move around to help digestion.

Hong Kong rats said: Our rats are full and have nothing to do, so they go to the streets to soak for two. Female cat

Classic jokes: two funny animal jokes. Ram: "Wife, what are you going to eat today?"

Ewe: "Today we eat wolf meat!"

Ram (⊙o⊙) "Wow, that's so good! Usually wolves eat us, but today we ate wolves!"

After the food was served, the ram took a bite. Said: "Why is the meat so small and has a strange smell?"

Ewe: "Dung beetle meat, this is what it smells like!"

A guy was sitting at home, Then there was a knock on the door.

He opened the door and saw a snail standing at the door.

He picked up the snail and threw it far away.

One day three years later, there was a knock on the door.

He opened the door and saw the snail again.

Snail said, "What happened to you just now?