A joke about family.

Wife: "You haven't done housework for so many years. How did you do it? " Husband: "Depend on your face!" Wife: "Fuck! Are you saying that you are handsome? ! ! ! "Husband:" Me. . . I am talking about thickness! "

2. My mom: It's normal not to find a girlfriend. Like you and your father, I look bored. If it weren't for you, I would have divorced your father!

Me: Don't you think I'm tired?

My mother: That's because I'm afraid to give you an award!

Me. . .

3. Xiaoming: "Mom, am I very popular? Otherwise, why do I have a group of puppies following me every time I go to the community? "

Mom: "You didn't wipe your ass after taking a shit, did you?"

Xiao Ming ......

Today, I took my daughter to the supermarket. Holding a set of toys, she said piteously, "Mom, I dreamed several times that you bought me this set of toys. You bought it for me today. "

I don't look back: "Didn't I tell you that dreams are against it? Come on, go home, it's time to cook. "

My husband asked me, "What will you do if I die?"

I said, "Eat with my best friend and go shopping."

Then I asked him, "What will you do if I die?"

He said savagely, "Eat with my best friend and go shopping."